If tomorrow Never comes
by Just Yesterday
Summary: Brooke Davis had it all. She was beautiful, with great friends and a hot boyfriend. With the end of senior year fastly approaching, Brooke finds herself facing tough decisions. But what happens when the very person she's running from, is the only one that
1. Chapter 1

Title: If tomorrow Never comes

Autor: Dayz Sollers

Spoilers: Set After Last episode. Based on the speculation that someone is sick on the show.

Subject: Brooke Davis had it all. She was beautiful, with great friends and a loving boyfriend. But what happens when the very person she's running from is the only one that can help her through what she's going through?  
Disclaimer: I own nothing to do with One Tree Hill and although I came up with the "Brooke dates the teacher" storyline (in Back to You) I really would like Mark to approach Brooke's storyline something like this. Sophia would rock emotional scenes and I would love to see them.

Prologue:

_April 25th_

_I never wanted to keep a journal. Truth was, it was something more my best friend Peyton Sawyer would have done. Or ex best friend, however that goes. Haley was always trying to get me to sit down and writer. She told me it was what helped her get through the times that her and Nathan were apart and she was scared of losing him._

_Lucas writes as well, even though we've been broken up for a few months I still see him from time to time in front of his laptop, busily striking keys. I wonder what he's writing, words of sorrow and dispair over his loss of his uncle? Is it love that shines through his writings, words that he no doubtibly whispers in my ex best friends backstabbing ear? Could it be of pain over his break up with me and the anger that resides in him since my relationship with Nick?_

_Nick._

_Now there's a name that can bring a smile to my face. We've been dating for a little over a month now and suprisingly I am not bored. I find comfort in him and I don't have to pretend anymore to be somebody that I'm not. He accepts me for what I am- a fiesty, beautiful 18 year old girl._

_Who's dying._

_I know what you're thinking. Brooke Davis is being melodramatic and making things up but the truth is, I'm not. I've been diagnosed with leukemia and even though the doctors are insisting on the kemotherapy, I myself am not so sure._

_I've always been the model for strength, no one ever saw the lost and lonely girl who felt abandoned by her parents. Brooke Davis was a girl who had the world in her hands and found comfort in playing with fire. She was beautiful, with gentle features and chocolate brown hair that drove boys crazy._

_Who was I without that hair?_

_I'm only 18 and at the begining of my senior year of highschool, I thought I had the world in front of me. And now, on the verge or my prom and then graduation-I've lost sight of things._

_I want to live my life. I don't want to be stuck in hospitals going through session after session on stuff that might not even save my life. I want to feel warm skin beneath my fingers and live in the moment._

_So in less than two months, I'll say goodbye to my friends._

_To Haley who's been more of a sister to me in the last year than Peyton has been my entire life._

_To Nathan, who took one look at me and didn't give up hope that the two of us could come around to being better people._

_To Rachel, who as much as I hate saying this has become a good friend._

_To Mouth, the only one who knows my secret and has kept it quiet this long._

_To Nick, who seems to genuinely care for me._

_To Peyton, who I've tried so hard to try and forgive. It was hard at first, seeing Lucas and her was like a constant memory of the pain. But since her accident with Derek (can you believe I kissed that guy?), I've seen her in a new light. She couldn't help who she was in love with. Just like I couldn't._

_And to Lucas. The boy who's had my heart since that first day in the backseat of his car. I remember telling him his life would be different now, better because of popularity. Things were deffinitly different for Lucas, but I'm not sure they're better. After all, he's lost so much this year._

_I was so afraid of everyone leaving me after graduation, that I never realized I would be leaving them before they had the chance to leave me. And so, I started this journal. In part to help me get through the changes I'm going through but also to let them understand once I'm gone._

_To remind them, who the real Brooke Davis really was._

_**Chapter One**_

_**"The sick soon come to understand that they live in a different world from that of the well and that the two can not communicate"  
-Jessamyn West**_

Brooke fiddled with the pencil on her desk, trying her hardest to pretend to be listening to what Mr. Summers was saying. English wasn't something she had much interest in but she knew she had to try. Out of the corner of her eye, she saw a note being passed between Lucas and Peyton and she tried her hardest to block them from her view.

As the bell rang, Brooke jumped up in excitement. School was over for the week and that meant no more run ins with her ex, or his new girlfriend. As she busily shoved her folders into her bag Lucas pushed past the people in the room and bumped into her desk.

If it had been another time in their two year relationship, she would have thought it had been on purpose. But his girlfriend was staring at him and the look on his face was as if it had been on accident.

"Sorry...Brooke." Lucas muttered before heading out the room.

Brooke rolled her eyes and continued grabbing her things when Haley came to the hallway door. "Brooke, do you think you could give me a lift?" She asked as Brooke nodded.

Haley looked back and forth between Brooke and Peyton, who at one point had been the best of friends and shook her head. She wondered quietly to herself if there was anything that she could do, anything that could bring the two back together but knew it was useless. Peyton lost all rights to her friendship with Brooke the moment she got together with Lucas.

For a moment, Brooke felt guilty. She knew Peyton was looking at both her and Haley. Brooke wondered if Peyton thought it was worth it. If Lucas had really been worth losing a friendship over. "Where's Nathan?" Brooke asked, hoping that thinking about something else might actually make her forget her pain.

"He took the car to work, he had to be there at 1:30."

Brooke nodded her head as she linked her arm with Haley's. "How's the Tutor baby?"

"We're going to go to the doctor's tomorrow to see whether it's a boy or a girl..." Haley said. She rested her hand over her stomach and smile slightly. "That's one of the reasons I wanted to talk to you. I know that I've been kind of out of it recently. It's been really hard the last couple of weeks. First with Nathan finding out about the baby and then you know the morning sickness and stuff..."

Brooke smiled. "Haley you don't have to apologize. You've got to take care of the baby and Nathan, they're your family."

"I'd like you to come to the doctor's appointment with me," Haley said quietly. Brooke turned towards her friend and nodded her head.

"There's no place I'd rather be."

Haley hesitated for a moment but then decided it was best to warn her. "Nathan asked Lucas to come too and I know it's going to be hard... you guys haven't exactly been talking to each other since the breakup. But I really need you there."

"Haley, I'll be there. Nothing would stop me and besides, Lucas Scott does not scare me," Brooke said. She tried her best to sound convincing and she was sure that it had worked judging by the look on Haley's face.

There had been a time, where Haley would have seen the lie. She would have been able to uncover the pain that Brooke would try her hardest to mask. Brooke questioned when it was that Haley stopped noticing. Was it after her and Lucas had broken up? Was it before?

She wasn't sure but the secrets that Brooke carried that she once would have confided into Haley, were carried on her shoulders alone. Something that she wasn't sure just how long she'd be able to carry on.

Peyton was sprawled across Lucas's bed a few hours later, her pencil etching over the sketch pad. She was so busy in the picture that she hadn't heard Lucas re enter the room, with both dinner and a flower in his hand. He laid the flower down on the bed beside her and bent down. "What are you working on Peyt?" He asked.

She shrugged her shoulders and flipped closed the picture she was working on. It would be akward, telling her boyfriend that she was working on a photo of his ex girlfriend. She knew that if he had seen the photo, he would not have been able to keep his mouth shut and he would find flaws with the photo. It wasn't the right color brown for her hair, or there wasn't enough life in her eyes... something that would make her hurt with jealousy. "Nothing, it was nothing. What's for dinner tonight?"

"Peanut butter and jelly sandwiches," Lucas laughed. Peyton raised an eyebrow and Lucas sighed. "Mom's out with Dan again and to be honest it was the easiest thing I could fix."

Peyton sighed, looking down at the sandwich and carefully reached for it. She put the plate in her laps and patted the bed beside her. "This is great Lucas, really. Thanks for letting me stay here tonight. It's still weird, going back to that house and not knowing where..."

"It's okay Peyt, you don't have to talk about it." Lucas leaned over and placed a kiss on her forehead. "I told you, you're always welcome here. Even if we're not... you know."

Peyton nodded her head and took a bite of her sandwich. "This is really good, wait...what did you use?" Peyton asked, lifting the bread off of the top. She glanced down to see the strawberry jelly and she looked up at him.

"You eat peanut butter with strawberry jelly?" She asked with a laugh.

Lucas nodded his head and smiled. "Yeah, it's one of Brooke's favorite things," he replied quietly. After he realized what he said, he turned towards her. "I'm sorry...I should have asked if you wanted strawberry or grape."

"No Luke, it's okay. It's just a sandwich, right?"

Silence filled the room as they continued eating their dinner. Lucas wasn't sure what he was supposed to say in response to what she had just said. It wasn't just a sandwich and even though he realized it, she didn't.

"I missed you at school today," Brooke said as she wrapped her arms around her boyfriend. He looked up at her and smiled gently.

"So did I, teaching at an academy for teenage boys isn't exactly a dream come true."

Brooke laughed as she sat down on the couch beside Nick. "Well at least I don't have to worry about you cheating on me. Wait...I don't right?"

"Don't you worry your pretty little head about that," Nick said as he flipped off the television. "I wouldn't cheat on you with Pamela Anderson..."

Brooke leaned over and kissed him. "Well if you get a chance with Carmen Electra, don't pass it up okay? I'll forgive you." Brooke winked at him and he just shrugged his shoulders.

"None of them do it to me like you."

Brooke nodded her head, fully understanding the feeling of someone standing above the rest. Someone who could do no wrong in your eyes someone you loved without conditions. "So...where were we?" Brooke said, pulling Nick by his loosened tie. "Right here," she whispered, bringing her lips crashing onto his.

"Did you talk to Brooke?" Nathan asked as he entered the bedroom. Haley was on the floor, with what looked like the directions on how to put together a cradle. She looked up at him and he noticed the tears in her eyes. "What's wrong Hales?" He asked, bending down.

Fresh tears fell down Haley's face as she tried her best to push them away. "I've been working on this for an hour! An hour Nathan and I haven't put it together yet! What am I doing? I can't be a mother, you can't be a father!"

"Haley it's okay baby," Nathan said as he wrapped his arms around her. She cried into his shoulder as he did his best to comfort her. "Don't worry about putting this together, I'll take care of it okay? Why don't you go take a shower and then we can go to bed. I'll do this and then I'll join you."

Haley's tears had managed to stop and she tried to smile. "Okay..." Haley began to step up as she looked at Nathan. "I just wish..."

"What do you wish?"

Haley sighed. "I wish I knew what was wrong with Brooke."

Nathan nodded his head, knowing full and well that his wife had been worrying about Brooke for a month or so now. He tried his hardest to stay out of it, Brooke Davis had always been the type of person to keep her life to herself. If something was bothering her, she wouldn't let you know. Not until she was ready.

"You just have to be there for her until she's ready to tell you. That's all."

**_TBC.  
How was that?  
Any good? I have the next chapter of my other story, I should post that tomorrow night or Wed morning at the latest depending on what time I get home from Trick or Treating with my two year old. Enjoy the update and as always, feedback is greatly appreciated!!_**


	2. Chapter 2

**Author's Notes:** Awe, I am really glad everyone is enjoying this story. This is going to be a long and winding story, with many bumps along the way. I never make anything easy, you all should know that by my other stories. But I will say this, where ever Brooke and Lucas are in the future- they're important and crucial to each other. Whether you're a fan of their relationship or not it's true. There will always be a connection between the two. And Naley fans, I have not forgotten you guys there will be tons of Naley in the next chapter.

Special thanks to:

**Ms.HalesCarter**- you're my Hales to my Brooke and I hope you know how much I love ya.

and to  
**Amanda (OthRetard)-** I hope this story will meet with your approval. :-)

Okay guys, I hope you all had a very Happy and SAFE! Halloween. Now on with the story.

_**Chapter Two**_

_**"The friend who can be silent with us in a moment of dispair or confusion, who can stay with us in an hour of grief and bereavement, who can tolerate not knowing...not healing, not curing... that is a friend who cares"  
- Henri Nouwen**_

Brooke played with the zipper of her denim jacket, while waiting for Haley and Nathan to arrive. She found it ironic, that she herself was there on time but that the mother and the father of the baby, was running ten minutes late. Just as she was about to give up, the elevator doors opened and both Haley and Nathan rushed through the doors. Lucas was following behind, a sad expression crossing his face.

As Haley walked towards the receptionist, Nathan took a seat next to Brooke. Lucas muttered a hello and Brooke nodded her head, neither of them really acknowledging the other.

"She said it should be within five minutes," Haley said as she sat down. She turned to Brooke and smiled. "How long have you been here?"

Brooke looked down at the silver watch she was wearing and shrugged her shoulders. "A little over a half an hour..."

"I thought you hated hospitals."

Brooke's eyes found Lucas's and she tried her best to remain calm. She wasn't like Peyton, she didn't have any reason to really fear hospitals. Her mom hadn't died in one like Peyton's had. But there was still something sad about hospitals, the loss and anguish that filled the halls had touched Brooke over the years. Just as she was about to say something, a young female doctor came into the room. "Haley Scott? I'm ready for you now," she said.

Haley stood up, followed by Nathan and then Lucas. They turned towards Brooke and waited for her to stand. When she hesitated, the doctor stepped in. "Actually, I just want to see Haley and Nathan right now. I need to go over a few things and then I will have Misty come and get you two."

Lucas nodded and the doctor escorted both Nathan and Haley into the room. Lucas sat back down on the chair and turned towards Brooke, an uncomfortable smile crossing his lips. "Brooke- listen..."

Brooke shook her head, trying her best to fully cut him off. She took a second to look at him, to see the concern on his face before turning away from him once more. "Lucas, it's okay. I understand, I've always understood. That was the problem. I kept telling you it wasn't worth it, that you should be with Peyton..."

"Brooke, I was just going to ask how you were doing."

She found herself blushing, aware of just how silly she probably sounded. He wasn't trying to give her an explanation about choosing to date Peyton, and he probably never would. Not that he really needed to explain anything to her, she was the one who had broken up with him. She was the one who started dating immediately after said breakup.

"I'm sorry."

The elevator doors opened and a doctor came through the doors. Brooke was quiet, trying her best to avoid Lucas and the pain that went with him. "Brooke, what are you doing here?" The older man asked.

Brooke looked up unexpectadly at the doctor and chewed her bottom lip. She wasn't sure what she was supposed to say, wasn't sure what Lucas was thinking. "I'm just waiting on a friend, that's all..."

Lucas watched the interaction between Brooke and the older doctor and wondered to himself just how she knew him. Instead of asking, Lucas turned towards her. "I'm just going to call my mom and check on her," he said and Brooke nodded her head. She watched him walk towards the door and then she turned back towards the doctor.

"Was that him?" The doctor asked quietly.

Brooke nodded her head sadly.

"You know Brooke, it's not too late to start the treatments. You still have a chance you can fight this, a chance to live your life again."

Brooke's eyes filled with tears but she did her best to ignore them. "Thank you but honestly I just want to get through the prom and then graduation... I want to see everyone off."

"But what about you?" The doctor asked. He knew it wasn't his decision and that he couldn't force her to do anything that she didn't want to do. And at 18, she wasfree to make up her own mind.

The door opened and the receptionist poked her head through. "Brooke? Haley wants you," she said. Brooke stood up and turned towards the doctor. She motioned for Lucas to come and then gave the doctor one last glance.

"I'm doing what is best for me. Please, just respect that."

Brooke walked through the hall towards the room where Misty had showed her. Lucas followed behind when Brooke turned towards him unexpectadly. "Luke..." she began to say.

She didn't have to say anything, Lucas squeezed her shoulder before staring down at her. "I know," he whispered. For a moment, she wondered what it would have been like for the two of them. If she really had been pregnant the year before. There would have been this baby, a beautiful baby with blonde hair and dimples. Perhaps then, the relationship that had meant so much to her would have lasted. Perhaps then, she'd have the fight within her to battle what she was going through instead of just giving up and walking away.

"Come on you guys, the doctors ready to tell us."

Brooke took notice of the smile that was on both Nathan and Haley's face and she did her best to hide her pain. She sat down on the chair in the corner of the room, Lucas seated beside her and waited for the ultrasound to start. As the doctor squeezed the gel onto Haley's stomach, Nathan squeezed her hand. "I love you Haley James Scott," he whispered in her ear.

Haley nodded her head and smiled at her husband. "I love you too Nate. Always."

Lucas looked away from the happy couple, aware of just how private their moment had been. A few minutes later, the doctor had shown them all the images of the babies heart and her lungs...everything seemed to be okay.

"So, is it a boy?" Haley asked.

Nathan shook his head no. "It's a girl, I have a feeling it's a girl."

Brooke smiled at the two of them and laughed as the doctor continued to move the device around Haley's smile. When she had what she was looking for, she smiled in triumph. "Well Mr.Scott, you're right. It's a little baby girl."

Nathan leaned over and kissed Haley as Lucas took a hold of Brooke's hand. He squeezed it gently, causing Brooke to look up at him. It had been forever since they had touched and in less than 15 minutes, he had touched her twice. She wondered briefly if that was how Peyton had felt. Counting down the minutes in between stolen glances and hand touching.

"Congratulations, you guys! This is great," Brooke said as she stood up. She placed a kiss on Nathan's cheek and grabbed a hug from Haley. The doctor was cleaning up when Brooke turned towards her friends. "And I'm really sorry that I have to leave but I'll call you later, okay?"

Brooke didn't give Haley a chance to respond as she grabbed a hold of her purse and car keys. She gave Nathan a small smile and headed for the door, ignoring the looks of worry that she was getting from her friends. Lucas called after her but it was too late, Brooke was already headed out into the hall.

Haley turned towards Lucas, and bit her lip. It was hard for her, torn between her loyalty towards Peyton and the friendship and love she felt in her heart for Brooke. In the end, her love for Brooke won out. "Lucas go talk to her." She insisted.

With no argument, Lucas was out the door to try and catch Brooke. He eyed the waiting room and noticed that she had already entered the elevator. In a last effort to catch her, to see what was wrong he headed down the stairs, skipping several.

The elevator door opened as he reached the bottom step and Brooke looked up to him with tears brimming her eyes. "Lucas what are you doing?" She asked quietly.

"I needed to..." Lucas was at a loss for words. The girl in front of him was almost a stranger to him now. It had been only months since they had broken up and he had gotten with Peyton. But the girl in front of him wasn't the girl he had fallen in love with. She was broken and hurting and he had no idea why.

Brooke pushed past him, opening the door and trying her best to ignore him. She didn't care what he needed, she didn't care that he looked as if he was losing her all over again. She needed to get in the car and go home, towards her boyfriend and the life that she had chosen. "Lucas just go."

"What's going on Brooke, just answer me that." The concern was evident in every word he spoke and for a moment Brooke considered telling him the truth. She knew that he would understand, that he would wrap his arms around her and whisper words of hope and love into her ear. And at the end of the day, it would be a lie. It was always a lie, she reminded herself.

Brooke opened the car door and turned towards him. "Nothing's going on Luke. I promised Nick I would meet him for dinner and I'm going to be late." Brooke lied. The words were easy to come up with, she was late to dinner with Nick. But the truth of the situation was she couldn't handle seeing Nathan and Haley with their whole lives ahead of them. She felt guilty for wishing it was her, that she had happiness ahead of her.

"Don't lie to me," Lucas pleaded. He watched as Brooke got into the car and he bent down so he was eye level with her. "After everything we've been through, please don't lie to me. Brooke, I lo..."

Brooke held up her hand and silenced him. "Don't. Don't say that, I'm not Peyton okay? I'm not going to stand here and listen to you while she's at home waiting for you. I deserve better than that... She deserves better than that."

And with that, Brooke slammed the car door shut and stuck her key in the ignition. A few seconds later, she was headed homr. She gave a quick glance into her rear view mirror and watched as Lucas stood up, his face full of confusion. Brooke shook her head and turned on the radio, in hopes to find something that could distract her from the likes of Lucas Scott.

After dinner that night, Brooke sat down in front of her vanity mirror and brushed out her hair. She stared into the mirror, trying to remember the girl staring back. Just as she was finished, the door to her bedroom opened and Brooke rolled her eyes. "Rach, I am really not in the mood to hear about your sex life okay?"

She turned around only to see the last person she expected. "Peyton, what are you doing here?" She asked.

Peyton looked like hell, her blonde hair was a mess and she had mascara dripping down her cheeks. "Lucas... Lucas broke up with me."

Anger raged through Brooke. Peyton had no right showing up to her house and complain about Lucas breaking up with her. She had no right to be standing there, after everything they had been through and crying. "Peyton..."

Brooke was at a loss for what to say.

"I didn't have anywhere else to go...I just thought that..." Peyton couldn't form the right words she was looking for. She wrapped her arms around herself and leaned against the door. "I really need you Brooke."

All the anger that Brooke had felt, had suddenly been replaced with understanding. They had both loved this boy so much, had both decided that he was the one for them. And Lucas had unintentionally broken both of their hearts in so many ways. Brooke felt compassion for the girl standing in front of her and made her way towards the blonde.

"It's okay," Brooke offered bringing her estranged friend into her arms. "It's going to be okay..."

She wasn't sure if that was true, she wasn't sure if she herself believed it. After all, it's not everyday you get over Lucas Scott. But she knew that Peyton needed her now and even though it was hard for her to admit it to herself, she really needed Peyton as well.

"So you just broke up with her?" Skills asked Lucas.

Lucas nodded his head as he kicked the rocks from beneath his feet. "What was I supposed to do Skills? I was so worried about her with everything that happened with Derek... that my feelings were clouded. I wanted to watch out for her, I've always been that person. So when I found out that she wanted to be with me..."

"You knew it was too late for you and Brooke."

Lucas nodded his head again. "Peyton's always meant the world to Brooke. And I know now that's why she walked away. It wasn't because she didn't love me or that she just stopped missing me. She just didn't want to come between me and Peyton."

"So you broke up with Peyton to get back with Brooke? You know you're my dawg and all but luke- I don't see that happening anytime soon..."

Lucas stuffed his hands in his jeans and sighed. "It's too late for me and Brooke. I lost my chance and I know that."

"Then why..."

Skills was confused. Lucas shrugged his shoulders as he continued. "It's not fair to Peyton. To be with her when I'm still in love with Brooke. I know that now." Mouth soon joined them and Skills smiled sadly.

He knew how much Lucas had loved Brooke. He had seen such changes in the boy he use to know on the river court. And in a lot of ways, those changes came from loving Brooke.

"I'm sorry," was all he could manage to say.

Lucas nodded his head, understanding Skill's delimia. There wasn't much he could say, he couldn't justify his friends choices. Lucas was about to say something when Mouth spoke up.

"We need to talk."

**_Tbc.  
What does Mouth need to tell Lucas? _**

**_Brooke gets an unsettling surprise.  
Peyton has something to ask Lucas._**


	3. Chapter 3

Author's Notes: I am so glad everyone is enjoying this story. I appreciate all the reviews I am getting and hopefully more will follow. This is going to be a bit tricky because I sort of understand the writers delimma. This is a Brucas story and I hope to never let any of you down but there will be several Leyton scenes in it. I am trying to make it as realistic to the show as possible and there's no way to do that without including Leyton. That said, Brucas is end game! We all know that right? 

Also quick thing both flashbacks and Brooke's journal entry's are in italics. Now on with the story.

**Chapter Three**

**_"Some emotions don't make a lot of noise. It's hard to hear pride. Caring is real faint- like a heartbeat. And pure love- why, somedays it's so quiet, you don't even know it's there"  
-unknown._**

****

****

****

"So what now?" Peyton asked.

Brooke glanced around the room, hoping to avoid her best friends stare. They had spent the last several hours avoiding the current situation and had somehow found comfort in past memories. Brooke tried her best to ignore theache in her heart as her friend relived a time that it was just the two of them, best friends forever. Back to a time where nothing could tear them away from each other, not lies or rumors or even boys.

"I don't know."

Brooke wasn't sure where her head was. She hadn't forgiven Peyton for going behind her back and kissing her boyfriend, or for lying about the feelings she had grown to feel about Lucas.

All that Brooke knew was that if she was going to get through everything that was going on in her life, she needed to have her friends. She needed to have someone to count on and to depend on.

For the last ten years of her life, that person had been Peyton. Their friendship had survived so much, from absent parents to the deaths of people closest to them. Brooke needed Peyton, that much was obvious and she recognized the pain on Peyton's face.

Loving Lucas was hard, and she knew first hand just how hard it truly was. Lucas makes you let your guard down. He proves time and again he is the dependable one and you know that he'll never hurt you.

So when he actually does, it hurts like hell.

"I'm sorry."

Brooke had heard the words before, from Lucas and from Peyton. After a while it began to sound like a broken record and Brooke struggled to look at her friend. "I know Peyt..." Her voice cracked and a single tear fell down her cheek. "And I can't say that I forgive you...not yet."

"But there's a chance?"

Brooke nodded her head slowly. She knew that she needed to forgive Peyton. The look in her best friends eye proved that. But there was too much damage done for her to just simply move past it. They had both said and done horrible things and it was going to take time to move past it.

"I want us to be friends again. I miss you P. Sawyer."

Peyton laughed at the old nickname and wrapped her arms around her friend. "It's funny how much I've missed you calling me that." Peyton took a breath. "So, how about prom? You wanna be my date?"

Brooke smiled sadly. "No, I can't."

"I didn't think Nick was going to go because well.. you know."

Brooke cut her off and stood up. "I'm not going with Nick. The truth is, I'm not going." Peyton raised an eyebrow. Brooke had been talking about prom for as long as she could remember. It was only right, head cheerleader and student presidant to go. "With everything that happened at the basketball banquet... I just don't feel like going. But you should."

Peyton laughed it off. "Oh yeah and who should I go with? Mouth?"

Brooke shook her head no and sighed. "I think you should ask Lucas."

_"Tough night, huh?" Mouth asked._

_Brooke nodded her head as she sat down on the bed. "Stupid rumors."_

_Mouth made his way towards the bed, sitting down carefully beside her. "Brooke umm...the other night at the party- you and Rachel thought I was asleep. I heard you talking." Mouth took a moment and continued. "And I know Rachel thinks you shouldn't have this baby but she's wrong."_

_Brooke watches as Mouth continues. "You, are going to make a great mother. I honestly believe that." A smile formed on Brooke's face as she nodded her head gently. She reached towards him and brought him into her arms, holding on to him for dear life._

_"Mouth," Brooke said as she pulled away from him. She stared down at her hands, scared to tell the truth but even more scared of keeping it a secret. "I'm not pregnant."_

_He looked up at her, confused to say the least. "But I heard..."_

_"Haley's the one that's pregnant, I was just covering for her until she got around to telling Nathan."_

_Mouth goes to stand up, embarressed by his words. "Wow- I feel like an idiot right now." Brooke took a deep a breath and stared up at him._

_"I'm dying."_

_He turned towards her, not accepting what he had just heard. "What do you mean you're dying?"_

_"I've been diagnosed with leukemia and I'm not taking the chemotherapy."_

_Mouth shook his head and the concern that was on his face was gone in an instant. "What do you mean you're not taking the cemo? Are you crazy? This is your life you're playing with!"_

_"Exactly," Brooke said calmly. "And I love you Mouth for caring but it's not your choice. It's mine and I'm not that girl."_

_He sat down next to her and stared down at the floor. "What girl? The girl who's going to do everything in her power to save herself? You'd rather be the girl that just gives up!"_

_"I'm not giving up, I'm accepting it. I want to live out my life in the real world. I don't want to be stuck in the hospital when I can be out living my life."_

_Mouth let out a sarcastic chuckle and he shook his head angrily. "You sound like Lucas."_

_"You always said we were the same."_

"What's going on Mouth?" Lucas asked.

Mouth wasn't sure he could go through with what he was about to do. He knew that if he said something to Lucas, that more than likely his friendship with Brooke was ruined. And he loved her, he had loved her for so long. "It's about Brooke."

"Is she okay?" Concerned, Lucas waited for his friends answer. He turned towards Skills who shrugged his shoulders, whatever Mouth was about to tell him was news to him. "What's wrong with Brooke?"

Bevin had made her way towards the three guys and she wrapped her arms around Skills' waist. "Hey babe- what's going on?" She asked but was quickly quieted by her boyfriend.

"I really think we should talk about this in private," Mouth said finally. He turned away from Lucas and shook his head. Backing down was something he was use to doing but this was Brooke's life he was jepordizing. How could he stand by and watch her do nothing? He knew he couldn't.

Skills took the hint and pulled Bevin by the hands. "I think Mouth needs to talk to Luke alone. Lets go Bev..." He kissed his girlfriend and pulled her away from them.

"Okay. We're alone and I have to say Mouth- you're really scaring me here."

Mouth shook his head, statisfied that Lucas was no worrying about Brooke. "Have you talked to her recently?" Mouth asked as he sat down on the park bench.

Lucas sat down next to him. "A little. I mean we both went to Nathan and Haley's sonagram..."

"No, I mean really talked to her," Mouth cut him off.

Lucas just shook his head as Mouth continued. "I don't think I should be saying this but I'm really worried about her."

"Hey is that..." Lucas' voice trailed off as he stared into the distance.

Mouth looked up to see Nick leaning against a tree, hovering over a girl. "That's Brooke's boyfriend."

Lucas nodded his head and tried his best to ignore the man who was dating Brooke.

"Wait. He's kissing her," Mouth said.

Lucas stood up and turned towards Mouth. "I think I'm begining to worry about her now too." He went to walk away but Mouth called out to him.

"What are you going to do?"

Lucas pointed to Nick and shook his head. "He's kissing someone else behind Brooke's back! I am going to go say something."

"Like you did? Face it Luke- you have no right to say anything."

Lucas was angry. He was angry at Nick for cheating on Brooke and he was angry at Mouth for reminding him of his actions. But most of all he was angry at himself for putting her once again in danger of a broken heart.

"Go talk to her," Mouth said finally. "She needs to know and it should come from someone she loves..."

Lucas knew he was right but he hated that he had to be the one to do it. "I'll go talk to her," he said. "But what were you trying to tell me earlier?"

"It's not important," Mouth lied.

"I'll see you later then."

Mouth nodded his head. "Yeah, I'll see you later." He watched as Lucas took off towards his car and he couldn't help but shake the bad feeling growing in his stomach. There was only so much a person could take and Brooke Davis had certainly had the limit. He wondered just how much she could take before she would break and just who would be there when she finally did.

And in that moment he made a vow to himself to be there for her, for whatever and for however long she needed him.

"How was your day?" Nick asked Brooke a few hours later as she entered his apartment. She pulled her sweater tighter around her body and sighed. It had been a long day, dealing with her and Peyton's rocky friendship.

Brooke stood on her tippy toes and kissed him gently on the lips, pulling back for just a moment. "What's that smell?" She asked. Nick pulled away from her and shrugged his shoulders.

"What smell?" He questioned.

Brooke sighed, she could have sworn she smelt a woman's perfume on his shirt but she said nothing. She had to remind herself that Nick wasn't Lucas and that her insecurities that had broken up the two of them, weren't justified in her relationship with Nick. "You cooked dinner?" She asked, changing the subject the best she could.

Nick nodded his head and smiled. "Lasagna is in the oven and there's a pie for dessert."

"I love pie," Brooke grinned.

He kissed her lips and pulled her closer to him. "And I love you," he whispered.

The words came out of nowhere and Brooke hadn't been expecting them. They had only been dating for a few weeks and to her it had started out as just a fun time. Someone that was going to be able to get her over Lucas. She hadn't realized that he was falling that hard for her. Brooke went to say something but Nick cut her off.

"It's okay. You don't have to say anything, I just wanted you to know."

Brooke nodded her head and looked towards the kitchen table. "I'm starving," she finally said. He laughed and pulled out the chair for her. "This is great Nick, thank you so much."

**_"Anything for you."_**

****

For a moment, she was pulled back into another time. She could hear Lucas saying those same words to her, staring down at her with a mop in his hands. She could feel the familiar butterflies in the pit of her stomach and she felt the warmth in her heart.

And then just as quickly as those memories came back to her, they were gone. And in it's place was her present boyfriend. He sat down the lasagna on the table and smiled from ear to ear. "I hope you like it. I spent all day cooking tonights dinner."

"I'm going to love it."

And she tried to do just that.

Peyton stood in front of the black door and took a deep breath. It's funny, how less than twenty four hours could change situations. She was standing on the very same doorstep the night before, with all the hope in the world. But now, she was nervous. She wasn't sure what Lucas was going to say, if he'd even be home. Just as she was about to knock on the door, it opened and Lucas stepped outside.

He had his familiar hoodie on and he smiled briefly at her. "Hey Peyt, is everything okay?"

Peyton shook her head no and sat down on the steps, calling him over to her. "I know I should have called, it's just I wasn't sure that I would be able to do this over the phone."

"Peyton, I'm really sorry but I have to go find Brooke."

Jealousy ran through her and she tried her best not to let it on. "Brooke's the reason I'm here actually," Peyton managed to say. Lucas was deffinitly concerned now. Not one but two people had come to see him about Brooke? He took a seat on the step next to Peyton and turned towards her.

"What's wrong with Brooke?" He asked.

Peyton shook her head. "Nothing's wrong with Brooke...Well nothing besides the normal stuff. But I spent the night at Rachel's last night. I think there might be a chance for our friendship afterall."

"That's great Peyton," Lucas said with honesty. He was glad that the two girls were coming to some sort of truce. He knew just how much Peyton had missed Brooke since their big blow up and even if Brooke didn't let it on, he knew how much she missed Peyton as well.

Peyton smiled. "She told me to come over here Lucas."

"Why?"

After a moments hesitation, Peyton closed the distance between them and brought her lips down onto his. When he didn't respond to the kiss, she pulled back away. "She said I should fight for you," Peyton whispered. "That the two of us had something worth saving."

"Brooke wants us to be together?" Lucas asked. It's not as if he thought Peyton would lie but the thought of Brooke giving Peyton her blessing sounded a bit odd, even for Brooke.

Peyton nodded her head. "She said people who are meant to be together, always find their way in the end."

Lucas felt his heart skip a beat at those words and he found himself fighting for words. "Brooke told me that once," he explained to her.

"Don't you get it Luke? It's you and me. It's always going to be there."

He wasn't sure what to say. Brooke had given Peyton her permission? Lucas knew that if that had really happened, there was no chance for him and Brooke ever again. And he just couldn't accept that. "Peyton I can't..."

"Because you don't love me?" She asked.

Lucas shook his head no. "Because I love her," he whispered. "I do love you Peyton. I always have. You were my first love and there's a part of me that will love you forever. But the bigger peice... that part belongs to Brooke. It's always belonged to Brooke."

Peyton nodded her head, sadly understanding him. It wasn't everyday that she let her heart pull out but somehow she always wound up being too late. Since the very first time she had reached out to Lucas, she had lost the battle to Brooke. Brooke would always be there, standing in between them. And Lucas, no matter how hard he tried would never be able to get over that.

"How'd we get here, huh?" Peyton asked a few minutes later. She wanted to lighten the mood and there wasn't much else she could come up with.

Lucas just shrugged his shoulders. "You and me, or all of us?"

"All of us."

He sighed. "I think we just all lost our way somehow. I'm just now finding mine again."

"Luke," Peyton whispered. He turned towards her and wrapped his left arm around her shoulder. "I know that we can't be together but I was wondering..." Lucas waited for her to continue and Peyton finally did. "Will you go to prom with me? As friends."

Lucas nodded his head. "Sure Peyt, I'd love to go to prom with you."

Nathan unlocked the door of apartment number 12 and pulled Haley inside. "I have a surprise for you," Nathan said as he placed his arms over Haley's eyes. She reached hers up to his and smiled.

"What are you up to Nathan Scott?"

He laughed and pulled her into a darkened room. "Wait a minute," he said as he flipped on the lightswitch. "Go ahead. Open your eyes." Haley opened her eyes to see the empty apartment.

"Where are we?" She asked with a laugh.

He threw the keys on the counter and smiled. "We're home. With the baby on the way, I knew we'd need some extra space so I talked it over with the super and he agreed to let us rent this apartment for just a little bit more a month."

"Nathan! That's great," she said bringing him into a hug.

He pulled away from her and took ahold of her hand. "There's more, come here." Haley followed behind Nathan down the small hallway that led to two bedrooms. He opened the first door and she peaked inside, taking notice of the larger bedroom. It was empty for the most part except for the beautiful mural on the wall of Paris, no doubt a gift from Peyton. He didn't give her time to notice anything else as he opened the last door and pushed her gently inside. As he flipped on the switch, Haley's mouth fell open.

She was standing in her babies nursery, that had been just like she had imagined. The walls were a light lavender and there was several peices of furniture including the cradle, a dresser and a changing table. She smiled, happy with the effort he was making. "Where'd you have the time... or the money to do this?" Haley questioned.

"Time was easy, everyone helped me. Tim, Skills, Bevin, Peyt... they all did something. And as for money, well let me just say that my father has become someone I can depend on."

Haley raised an eyebrow, doubting her husbands words. "At least for now," Nathan laughed. "I have to pay him everything back but right now he's more concerned about you completing college and me playing ball."

"Nathan, I love it!" She whispered wrapping her arms around him and pulling him in for a kiss. "This is perfect."

He nodded, pleased with himself. The obsticles that were ahead of the two of them, were nothing. He knew that now. As long as they had each other, they would be fine. Their love could get them through anything.

He was sure of it.

Brooke shut the car door quietly, hoping not to wake up any of the neighbors. She had fallen asleep in Nick's apartment and hadn't realized what time it was until she got a text message from Rachel, promptly asking where in the hell she was. As she made her way up the front porch steps, she saw a figure leaning against the wall.

"Lucas?" She asked, moving towards him.

He nodded his head and shoved his hands in his jeans. "I've been outside for over an hour waiting..."

"What the hell are you doing here? Are you spying on me?" Brooke asked incrediously.

Lucas shook his head no and stood up, moving towards her. "Brooke we need to talk."

Brooke laughed as she pulled out her keys. "Lucas! It's 2 o clock in the morning, what in the hell are you doing here? We can talk tomorrow at school!" She didn't want to fight with him, didn't want to argue. All she wanted to do was get up to her bed and fall asleep.

"It can't wait," he said as he grabbed a hold of her arm.

She tried her best to pull away from him but it was no use. Even on his sickest day, Lucas Scott was stronger than her. So instead of forcefully pulling away, she decided to try and attack him verbally. "Did you come here to see Peyton? She's upstairs, I can go and get her if you want..."

"I'm not here to see Peyton." Lucas cleared his throat. "I said we need to talk, the two of us."

Brooke rolled her eyes. "Look Lucas, I don't want to hear it okay? There's nothing that you could possibly say that I would want to hear..."

"I saw Nick kissing someone else."

Brooke shook her head. She felt a laugh escape her lips and on instinct, she reached her hand into the air and flaired it against his cheek. "I can't believe you Lucas. Nick's not cheating on me. Why in the hell are you doing this to me?"

She pushed the memories of earlier that night out the window and focused on hurting Lucas. How dare he come to her house and accuse her boyfriend of cheating on her? Who in the hell did he think he was?

"Brooke I'm not lying to you. I know what I saw."

She pulled her arm back and she turned away from him. "Stay the hell away from me, okay Lucas? I don't want you around me anymore. I hate you," she yelled. A neighbors light came on and Brooke turned towards him. "I hate you," she repeated. Her voice cracked and she pushed open the front door, using all of her strength to shut it behind her. Once she was safe inside, she fell to the floor in tears.

Why did he have to keep doing this to her?

What did she do so wrong that made Lucas want to hurt her?

Tears fell down to her cheeks and she looked up at the ceiling. "What did I do?" She whispered quietly. Brooke wasn't sure who she was talking to, she never really prayed to anyone before. "Was I not a good person in a past life? What did I do to make you hate me?"

The silence brought no comfort to Brooke Davis, as she was sure it wouldn't. And then, tiny arms cradled around her and she felt a familiar body pull her up. "Shh," Peyton whispered. "It's going to be okay." Peyton rubbed her best friends back and listened to the sobs escaping from the young girls mouth. Yesterday was her turn, Brooke had been there for her. And she decided that she needed to return that favor by being there for Brooke tonight.

"Everything's going to be okay," she lied.

**_TBC.  
Okay, so honestly what are you all thinking? Did it dissapoint? I hope not :-) Anyways, I think I like this chapter so far the most, I really enjoy writing this story. As always! Please leave a review! I can take critisim, I can take sarcasm, I can take wonderful reviews! _**

**_Up next on If tomorrow Never comes.  
Prom night for seniors. _**

**_Someone returns to Tree Hill. _**

**_Mouth fights to change Brooke's mind. _**

**_Brooke's condition worsens._**


	4. Chapter 4

Author's Notes: Thanks everyone for the lovely feedback and I am glad everyone is enjoying this story. Also, to **photoboothromance**: Brooke hasn't forgiven Peyton and is no where close to doing so. Hopefully this chapter will clear a few things up. 

Special thanks to BrownEyes1980, I am glad you're enjoying the story and I loved your feedback. I do believe, that the only way for Mark to make the two of them friends again, is that one of them is sick. And I hope to God, that it's Brooke. Because if it's Peyton I swear I am going to... well... be very angry ;-)

**Chapter Four**

**_"What we do for ourselves dies with us. What we do for others and the world remains and is immortal"  
-Albert Pine_**

Brooke ran her hand over the black satin material and smiled in satisfaction. Looking down at the dress, she knew it was perfect and that Haley was going to love it. It wasn't something that she herself would have chosen to wore but she knew that Haley would look beautiful in it. And the velvet bow around the empire waist was the magic touch.

"Brooke! Can I see it now?" Haley asked.

She was nervous to say the least. The last time Haley had let Brooke design a dress for her, it had been a catastrophe. It wasn't anything like Haley would have normally worn and she was scared that Brooke had done it again.

"Yes, come on in."

Haley stepped into the bedroom from the bathroom and walked towards the bed, looking down at the dress. Her mouth fell open and she turned towards Brooke with a smile on her face. "Brooke, that is perfect!"

"Are you sure, it seems a little dull..."

Haley shook her head no and picked up the dress, holding it up to her slender form. "It's not dull. It's exactly what I would have wanted. Thank you so much," Haley said as she brought her friend into a hug.

Brooke was quiet for a moment and then sighed. "Well you tutor girl are going to look hot. Even if you do have a tutorbaby in the oven."

"Bun. Bun in the oven Brooke," Haley corrected her.

Brooke rolled her eyes and laughed. "Whatever, you know what I mean. Nathan is going to flip when he sees you in that dress."

"Where's your dress Brooke?" Haley looked around the room and Brooke hesitated for a moment. She took a seat on the chair beside her bed and shrugged her shoulders.

"I didn't make one for me," she said honestly.

Haley raised an eyebrow as she placed the dress on the bed and waited for Brooke to explain. "I'm not going to prom." Brooke didn't give an explanation and when Haley pushed for one she simply shook her head. "Haley, I love you okay? You're my best friend and I know what you're thinking. There's only one prom in my lifetime and I should be there for it, with my friends. But I don't want to go, okay? Just please... respect that."

"Brooke..." Haley began.

Brooke shook her head and stood up, angrily folding her arms across her chest. "I mean it Haley. I'm not going and nothing you or anyone else can do will change that. Okay?"

Haley found herself at a loss for words. She was no match for arguing with Brooke. Her best friend was one of the most stubborn people she had ever met and she had no ability to compete. "Okay." Brooke smiled, glad that her friend was letting the subject go and turned back towards the dress. "Now, what do we do with that hair of yours?" She said with a smile.

"What am I doing here Luke?"

Lucas turned towards his friend and rubbed his forehead. "Tonights prom and I know that she'd want you here," he tried to explain. The boy shook his head in confusion and waited for Lucas to continue. "She thinks you don't love her. That you gave up on her."

"She chose you," Jake managed to say.

Lucas moved to his dresser and pulled out a sketch pad. He threw it at Jake and motioned for him to go through it. When Jake finally did, he was suprised at what he saw. There were several pictures of him throughout the book, some of Jenny and a few of Brooke. On the last page was a drawing of him and Jenny, with the words Someday scribbled across it.

"I know Peyton loves me," Lucas said. He could tell how uncomfortable Jake was and felt sorry for his friend. "But her heart, it belongs to you. She's scared and she's afraid that she won't compete with Nikki and Jenny. That she's not enough because you're always choosing them over her."

Jake shook his head. "I never chose Nikki over her."

"No, not really. But she's your daughters mother and that means something deep down. There's a love there, at least there once was. Peyton doesn't have that with you."

Jake leaned against the desk. "I never asked her to compete with either one of them. I asked her to follow her heart and she came back to you." Jake waited for a moment and then continued. "And I appreciate this, I really do but if Peyton wanted me here- she would have called."

"Just like you did? How many months were you gone and you never called her," Lucas said. "It took her getting shot in the leg to make you realize that you cared for her? Where were you when I was comforting her in that library?"

Jake shook his head, angry that Lucas was saying these things to him. "Don't stand there and say I don't love her okay? I let her go, I loved her enough to let her go. She doesn't need any of the baggage that I bring to her."

"No, she doesn't," Lucas agreed. He walked towards his bedroom door and shook his head. "She needs your love."

"Are you ready?" Nathan asked Haley later that night.

Haley stood in front of the mirror in her bathroom and sighed. This wasn't how she imagined prom to be like. She didn't dream of being pregnant, or her stomach being too big that she didn't fit into her normal dresses. Nathan knocked on the bathroom door and peeked his head inside. "Hales, you look great!"

Tears started to fall from Haley's eyes as she shook her head franticlly. "Are you crazy Nathan? I'm fat! I look horrible," Haley said. She leaned against the bathroom sink and put her head in her hands.

Nathan fought back the urge to laugh and walked towards his wife. "Haley you're not fat. You can barely even tell that you're pregnant." Haley looked up at him, not really believing his words.

"You have to say that, you're my husband."

Nathan nodded his head. "But you know what? Brooke said you looked gorgeous in your dress and she wouldn't lie, right? She'd be the first to tell you you've gained too much weight too soon."

"That's true I guess..." Haley laughed. "Oh Nathan, I'm sorry. I don't know why I'm acting like this, I fall apart over everything. I hate it."

He wrapped his arms around his wife and gently rubbed her back. "It's going to take some getting use to. This is your first time being pregnant and you have a lot of other things going on. It wasn't exactly the best timing."

"Yeah..."

Nathan rubbed the tears off of her cheeks and kissed her lips. "But it's okay Haley. You have nothing to worry about."

"Can you give me a minute?" Haley asked. "I need to fix my makeup."

Nathan nodded and dropped one last kiss on his wife's lips before exiting the bathroom. "Just hurry up okay? Lucas and Peyton are going to be here any minute and we're going to be late!"

"Are you sure you don't want to go?" Rachel asked as she entered Brooke's bedroom. Brooke was laying on her bed with her journal in her hands. "We could always go and spike the punch, that could be fun..."

Brooke managed to laugh but shook her head. "No- I don't want to go. Have fun okay?" Brooke said as she flipped open her journal and Rachel rolled her eyes.

"Is Nick coming over tonight?"

Brooke just shook her head no but didn't look up. She had been avoiding Nick for a few days now. It wasn't like she believed Lucas, she was just angry and didn't want to take it out on Nick. _'Yeah,'_ Brooke thought to herself. _'That's it.'_

"Well I'm going to go," Rachel said as she grabbed a pair of earrings out of Brooke's jewelry box and headed towards the door. "Last chance..."

Brooke waved goodbye. "I'll see you later Rach."

She watched as Rachel gave up and walked out of her bedroom. Brooke laid her head against the pillow and shut her eyes just as there was a knock on the door. "Rachel, I'm not going to the prom okay?"

Mouth opened Brooke's bedroom door and carefully made his way towards the bed. He had a white box in his hands, with a red bow sealing it closed. "This was on your doorstep..." He explained. She raised an eyebrow and took the present from Mouth, carefully pulling at the ribbon. As she took the top off of the box, she gasped down at the dress within it. "Who..."

"There was a note also," Mouth said as he pulled his jacket open and pulled out the envelope. He handed it towards her and she carefully looked at her name scribbled on the front of it. She shook her head, knowing just who it came from. Brooke ripped the envelope open and pulled out the peice of paper.

**_"Remember tonight, for it is the begining of always."_**

Brooke placed the note on the nightstand beside her and sighed. What was Lucas doing to her? Why did he always have to come back into her mind, just when she was finally done and pushing him out?

"Brooke-" Mouth began. He hesitated, not wanting to hurt his friend. "What Lucas told you about Nick, it was true. I saw... We saw him kissing that girl."

Brooke pushed the box away from her but didn't look up from the dress. "I know," she whispered. She felt tears drop from her eyes and she just shook her head. "I know Lucas was telling the truth. I was so angry at him. At me for believing that someone could love me and not cheat."

"People do love you Brooke, we all do."

Brooke sighed. "I've had three serious boyfriends. Felix lied to me, Lucas cheated on me with my best friend. TWICE. And now Nick, he's doing the same thing?"

"It's not your fault for what they've done."

She nodded her head, knowing full and well that it wasn't really her fault. "But is my fault for letting it happen. I appreciate this Mouth but I really don't feel up to talking."

"Then how about dancing?" He offered with a smile.

"I'm not going to prom..." Brooke said but he cut her off.

He stood up and made his way across her room to her stereo and flipped on the radio. Luckily it was a slow song and he walked back towards her. "May I have this dance?"

"You're kidding right?" Brooke asked with a laugh.

Mouth shook his head no and reached for her hand. "No. It's prom night and I want to dance with the prom queen," he said. Brooke tried to protest but Mouth had pulled her up and wrapped his arms around her.

"I'm no prom queen, look at me."

He looked down at her clothes, the red and pink stripped pajamas and found himself laughing. "You've never looked more beautiful." She smiled at him, this boy that had meant so much to her over the past couple of years. He was always there for her, always knew the right things to say. Brooke opened her mouth to say something but all of a sudden felt light headed. She stumbled backwards and used Mouth as a way of catching her balance.

"Sorry, I'm just a little light headed."

Mouth shook his head, leading her back towards the bed. "Brooke, we have to get you to the doctors okay?" He asked.

"No Mouth, I'm fine. I just got up a little too fast and I haven't eaten all day..." Mouth watched as she tried to make excuses. "I think you're right," she whispered quietly.

He smiled, relieved that she was agreeing with him. "Lets get you to the doctor's then."

"No." Brooke stood up and grabbed the box from the bed. "I meant about prom, I should be there."

Mouth watched as Brooke walked towards the bathroom door. When she reached it, she held herself up by the door jam. "Thanks Mouth, you're a great friend." He nodded his head, glad to have at least gotten her out of the bed and going to prom.

A half an hour later, Brooke re-entered the bedroom with her prom dress on. Lucas had picked out a purple dress, that was strapless and had a full skirt. She pulled the skirt up just a little to reveal a plain of simple silver stileto's and turned around so that Mouth could see the whole outfit. "What do you think?" She smiled.

Mouth fumbled for words, amazed at just how beautiful his friend truly was. Her long, dark hair was straight and she had minimal makeup on but enough to accentuate the purple of her dress.

"You look like a prom queen."

"I'm glad we did this Peyton," Lucas said as he wrapped an arm around her. He pulled her into a quick hug and then released her, placing a kiss on her forehead. "I'm glad we can be friends."

Peyton nodded her head and smiled sadly. "It's a perfect end, don't you think?"

"Yeah, I do."

The song ended and the couples on the dance floor began to dance to a faster song. Lucas laughed, a bit embaressed at his lack of dancing skills and Peyton pulled on his arm. "Let's get a drink," she suggested.

He smiled. Getting a drink he could do, making a fool of himself out on the dance floor with his ex girlfriend is something he had no intentions of ever doing. He saw his mom in the distance, a hand firmly planted on her pregnant stomach. They shared a smile and he looked away as his father came up behind her.

He turned his attention back towards the doors that his friends were still entering and waved hello at Bevin and Skills. Lucas smiled at how happy the two of them looked together. "Luke, where's your head?" Peyton asked finally but went unanswered. She rolled her eyes and poured her glass of punch, knowing full and well just where Lucas Scotts head was.

"Wow," Lucas breathed.

His words through Peyton out of her trance and she turned to see what he was looking at. It was crowded and there were plenty of people surrounding her but she could make out the faint outline of Brooke in the distance. She was wearing a purple dress and was standing next to Mouth. "Lets go say hello," Peyton said grabbing a hold of Lucas' hand and pulling him with her.

"I don't think that Brooke would..."

But he was too late. Peyton had pulled him in front of Brooke and they were standing only feet away from one another. The people around them stood in silence as they watched the former lovers stare at one another. "Hi Brooke..." Lucas said lamely.

"Lucas."

Brooke had always been beautiful, there was no denying it. Lucas would have been an idiot if he hadn't noticed. But tonight, as he stared down at her in the dress that he had bought, he fought back tears. She looked beautiful and delicate and sexy all at once. "You look beautiful," he choked out.

She blushed, something she wasn't use to doing in a long time. The others standing around began to move away, aware of just how private the conversation was. "Thank you," she said simply. Brooke pushed a piece of her hair behind her ear and smiled up at him. "And thank you for the dress."

Brooke didn't give him a chance to say anything, she simply pushed past him and gave a small smile to Peyton. Lucas watched the encounter but said nothing, just watched as the love of his life turned her back on him and walked towards their table. She turned towards her friends, Peyton and Lucas included and put her hands on her hips. "Are we going to party, or are we just going to stand there?"

Mouth smiled as he grabbed a hold of Brooke's hand.

"We're going to party," he said. If Brooke wanted a party, Marvin Mcfadden was going to be damn sure she got one. If she wanted to dance the night away under bad lighting and crete paper, she was going to. And if she wanted to pretend that her world wasn't slipping away from her, that her friends were going to always be there...well then he would give her that too.

Two hours later the prom had slowed down and Brooke had quietly excused herself so that she could head to the bathroom. She could hear Nathan going over who this years prom king and queen would be, as well as announcing the royal court and she made her way through the crowd. She was stopped by the words Brooke Davis being spoken over the microphone.

Brooke turned towards the stage, and raised an eyebrow. She had won? For prom queen? There was no way that was possible, she wasn't even in the running. Her fellow students pushed her towards the stage and she tried desperately to maintain her balance. Out of the corner of her eye, she saw the table she had been sitting at and the smiles on all of her friends faces. They were clapping and applauding the queen and she just shook her head. She saw the devious smile on Mouth's face and silently questioned what he had done.

But it was too late, Brooke was being handed her flowers and the crown was already on her head. She turned towards Nathan, silently begging for the end of what was happening. Moments later, a familiar song played on the radio and her eyes began to fill with tears. Gavin Degraw's 'More than Anyone,' played in the background as Lucas' hand found hers.

"Sorry Pretty Girl," he said as he moved his hand to behind her back. Lucas moved her body towards him and she reluctantly placed her arms around his neck. "It's tradition..."

Brooke nodded her head and shut her eyes, leaning her head against her shoulder. For the first time, in a really long time Brooke Davis felt peaceful. She allowed the song to take over their bodies and the two of them moved to the music together.

Everyone stared at them, a sense of satisfaction on each of their faces. Haley leaned her head against Nathan's chest and smiled at her friends. She knew that Lucas and Brooke had a lot of problems that they had to face and that the road back to each other was not going to be easy. But seeing the two of them dancing, reminded her of what true love really was. It wasn't the easy times that kept people together, it was loving in spite of the hardships you face.

"It must be hard for you."

Peyton's eyes widened but she didn't turn her back. "It gets easier. Some things just don't work out," she explained. She knew who was standing behind her, she would know his voice anywhere.

"Still must be hard," Jake said as he took the seat next to her.

Peyton shook her head no and sighed. "I gave up on true love a while ago."

"That's too bad," he whispered in her ear. "Because, everybody needs a little hope."

She smiled warmly, remembering hearing that word once before. And she had been. So hopeful. Peyton had been searching for an epic romance, the type of stories people write movies about, that artists paint and musicians sing about. She wanted the type of love that Nathan and Haley had had, since the begining of junior year.

She had found it but it had been taken from her before she had the chance to fight for it. Part of the reason she was so sure her heart was with Lucas was because it had been him, who had helped her see that love was worth fighting for. She had watched him for a year, love Brooke with everything in him. And she wanted that, so desperately.

"What are you doing here Jake?"

Jake placed his hands on the table and turned in towards her. "Lucas called. He said that tonight was prom and that he knew you would have wanted me to be here."

Peyton smiled towards Lucas, she owed him a lot. He was always saving her, always rescuing her from others but mostly from herself. "It's good to see you," she said honestly.

Jake nodded his head in agreement. Sure, it wasn't the world but it was a start.

"Brooke," Lucas whispered. "Brooke, the song..."

Brooke felt like she was spinning in circles but she knew the song had come to an end. She could hear Lucas' words but couldn't manage to form her own.

"Brooke, are you okay?"

Lucas pulled away slightly and as his arms released her, Brooke fell to the floor. He did his best to wrap his arms around her and save her from the fall but she still colapsed underneath him.

"Brooke!" Haley cried as she moved towards her two friends.

Lucas ran his hands over Brooke's pale face and turned towards Nathan. "Get an ambulance," he screamed.

Peyton, Jake and Mouth gathered around her as Lucas tried his best to wake her up. "Brooke, open your eyes okay? You gotta open your eyes. Baby," he whispered. Lucas fought back his own tears as he watched the girl he loved more than anything, slip away from him.

**_TBC.  
Love it? Hate it? I want to know what you're thinking. Please read and review you guys! Up next on If tomorrow Never comes:  
Brooke's latest journal entry._**


	5. Chapter 5

Author's Notes: Okay wow, here is another chapter in the same day!! I am proud of myself, lol. This is a bit shorter but only because the next chapter has some major scenes in it that I am trying to tweek a bit before I post it. 

I love all the reviews you guys! Glad everyone is enjoying this and I am kind of sorry it's so sad. But I promise there will be happy moments in the future but there are still some sad ones.

This is my last chapter probably until Monday. I have unwanted company coming in from out of town and I am going to be swamped. Unfortuanately. BUT!!! If there is some time before he arrives, I will update once more tomorrow morning.

Just a thanks to: B.Davis, Becky92, PrettyGirl33, BrucasForever, Chad'sHeart13, Daniella, MsLucasScott, 24HPOTHforver, and dolcegrazia.

iamagomeiloveinuyasha: There's a part of this chapter I think you might appreciate. See if you can find it :-)

SophiaVal3ntine: I loved your review and I am so glad you're enjoying the story and that you like the way the charcters are interacting in this storyline. I promise next chapter is going to be a doozy.

OthRetard: I think you'd like any of my stories right? As long as I don't do anything crazy and have LP together forever. I luv ya ;-)

Ms.HalesCarter: I miss my Hales' reviews. Where are they?

BrownEyes1980: I just wanted to take a minute and say I am so happy you like my story. It made me smile because earlier today I was on fanforum (lurking I might add) looking at spoilers and I saw you're post about it. lol, it was very flattering and I am glad you're still interested and that each chapter is better than the other. Next chapter should be great then because it's Brooke's turn to be in the emergency room ;-)

Sorry that took waaay longer than expected, so on with the fic.

**Chapter Five:**

**_For better or worse, our future will be determined in large part by our dreams and the struggle to make them real"  
-unknown._**

_I had this dream a while ago. It was unsettling, the way it made my heart feel. I was in an unfamiliar room, laying down on an oversized cherrywood canopy. The sun was pouring through the lage balcony windows and I could see the body of someone, staring down into the yard. I heard children's laughter in the background and I found myself smiling at the voices._

_I was curious about who was standing on the balcony, so I pulled my robe around my body and carefully made my way out to him. As soon as I got to the partially opened doors, I knew who it was. Wearing only a pair of sweat pants, Lucas had his back to me. He was leaning on the railing and I heard him chuckle to himself. "You be careful with her," he yelled._

_I could make out the girls voice and even though I had never heard it before, it sounded familiar. How was that possible? I don't know. I coughed, trying to break Lucas's attention and have it turned to me._

_He was smiling as he turned around and although their were signs of wrinkles on his face, he was still as handsome as ever. I felt my breath catch in my throat and for the first time in a long time, I felt butterflies in my stomach._

_"Goodmorning beautiful," he said as he pulled me into a hug and held me close. "Our kids wanted to wake you up but I told them it was too early. You've been working hard enough."_

_I nodded my head, not fully understanding what was going on. I was dreaming and I knew that but this man in front of me wasn't the Lucas Scott that I had been dating. It was the Lucas Scott, years in the future. With three beautiful kids, two girls and a boy._

_The last thing I remember is glancing down at the golden wedding band on my finger and smiling. "I'm awake now," I whispered to him before my eyes darted open and once again, I was alone._

_When I woke up to the real world, I was forced to put that dream behind me. The woman that I had become in that dream, wasn't me. I didn't have the ring on my finger, or the husbands loving arms, or the future that she did. I didn't get the happily ever after story, with the three kids named Jason, Kristen and Meghan. That wasn't my life and I needed to accept that._

_So when Rachel insisted that I go out with her that night, I decided to take a chance. I decided to let go and have some fun with a girl who had been my enemy, just weeks before._

_That was the night I met Nick. We had come together in an unconventional way and I started a relationship based on lies. I wasn't proud of it but honestly, it wasn't about being in a relationship._

_It was about being alive._

_When he stared at me, he made me feel alive. In his eyes, I was desirable. I wasn't the bad girl trying to do good, I wasn't the captain of the cheerleading squad who dated the co captain of the basketball team. I was flirty and mysterious and seductive and it was wonderful._

_We had sex that night and til this day I don't regret it._

_When I went to school the next day and he was staring back at me in that classroom, I felt like a fool. I never expected to see Nick again, let alone at my own school. What was worse, was that Rachel knew and that meant soon... well soon everyone would._

_She surprised me though, keeping it quiet for as long as she could. I think she believes that it was her fault but it really wasn't. My friends found out, one by one and even though they dissapproved, they loved me enough to let me make my own decisions._

_That was until Lucas saw him kissing another girl._

_I yelled at Lucas last night. I mean, I really yelled at him. And even though a part of me feels justified in saying the things that I did, a part of me knows this really isn't his fault._

_It's mine._

_I mean... isn't it?_

"Rachel, what are you doing?" Mouth asked as he walked into Brooke's room and shut the door. "You're reading her journal?"

Rachel nodded her head and shut the book, angry with herself and everyone else for not noticing just what Brooke was going through. "Mouth, did you know? I mean you couldn't have possibly known that Brooke was dying. Because you would have said something..." Rachel reasoned, getting off of the bed and moving towards him. "You would have said something, right?"

"She told me it was her life and that it wasn't anybodys buisness."

Rachel crossed her arms over her chest and stared at the boy she had thought so much of. He had always done the right thing, always done things on the straight and narrow. "I can't believe you didn't say anything..."

"You think I'm not beating myself up about this? Brooke's in the hospital and all of her friends EXCEPT me are left in the dark. No one knows what is wrong with her and Lucas is trying to get a hold of her parents...but no one can reach them. And you, you don't even like Brooke."

Rachel threw the journal at him. She knew she had no right to be so angry but in the short time that it had taken her to befriend Brooke, she saw something that perhaps no one else did. She saw herself. A girl who wanted the world, the good and the bad. "Brooke was there for me, when no one else would give me the time of day. And now she's in the hospital and there's nothing any of us can do."

"I feel the same way," Haley said as she entered the bedroom. "I just stopped by to pick up a few things for Brooke. I know when she wakes up she's going to want to have some of her familiar stuff around, some pictures and maybe this stuffed animal..." she picked up the bear on the table and held on to it. "And a change of clothes, Brooke would hate to be stuck in the nightgown they make you wear..."

Rachel sat down on the bed and stared at the pregnant girl in front of her. They weren't friends, far from it in fact. She had managed to crash the wedding, cause a car accident, injure Cooper and try to steal her husband and yet still, Haley didn't hate her.

"Lucas said he was going to call us as soon as the doctors tell him what's going on. I'm sure everything's okay, she probably just skipped a few meals and is dehydrated," Haley offered as an excuse.

Rachel shook her head. "Yeah, come to think of it- I haven't seen her eat in a couple of days."

"Rachel," Mouth said as he shook his head. "I can't keep doing this..."

Haley turned around, confused by Mouth's statement. "What's going on Mouth? Do you know what's wrong with Brooke?"

"Yeah," he said finally. "A few weeks ago, when the rumors were going around about Brooke being pregnant... I confronted her." Haley smiled sadly, knowing that it was her that Brooke had been covering for. "I told her she was going to be a great mother and she told me she was dying."

Haley backed away from Mouth, not believing the words. "Dying?" She questioned, as she shook her head. There was no way Brooke was dying. She had seen her just two days before and although she looked tired, she didn't look as if she was dying.

"She has leukemia and is refusing to do anything about it."

Haley backed up against Brooke's dresser and placed an arm over her stomach. "I can't believe she didn't tell me," Haley whispered.

"She didn't want anyone to know. Not you, her parents... not even Lucas."

Haley couldn't believe what she was hearing and she didn't want to. "There has to be some mistake, the doctors got it wrong. That's it, we just have to take her to a different doctor. They'll fix her. They have to fix her..."

"She's not a broken toy Haley," Rachel said. Haley turned towards her a look of anger flashing across her face. "She's a human being."

"Like you would know what that feels like," Haley said snidely. She grabbed the things that she had collected and turned towards Mouth. "I'm going to get back to the hospital. Someone has to be there for Lucas when he finds out. You should come too Mouth."

Mouth shook his head no. He couldn't go to the hospital, he didn't feel like he deserved the right to be there. "I can't."

"Fine, you do whatever. But when Brooke wakes up and decides to fight this, she's going to need her friends. All of them."

He nodded his head and watched as the pregnant girl walked out of Brooke's room. "I'll give you a lift?" Rachel volunteered. She felt horrible for what she had said to Haley and she felt even more horrible for what Haley had said to her. But she knew that Haley was right, Brooke needed everyone to support her and that was just what they were going to do.

She reached for Mouth's hand, clasping it with her own and pulled him towards the door. Prom had been nothing like Rachel had suspected it would be. But somehow, the warmth of Mouth's hand in hers gave her assurance that there was a chance for all of them.

TBC...

Up next on If tomorrow Never Comes:

Lucas' emotional plea to Brooke


	6. Chapter 6

Authors Notes: Thanks for all the lovely reviews and I am here with another update. My plans changed for this weekend so I spent most of it writing. 

But! I do have something important to say. This story was started on the topic of someone getting an illness. The truth is, in Tree Hill- Brooke Davis would never get that storyline. Those angtsy plots are reserved for the :::cough cough::: better actors on the show. (note sarcasm? I think so too.)

That's why I wanted to write this. Because I think that it's the only way the end of season three and Brooke's actions this season would make sense. Brooke deserves an angsty storyline **BUT I WOULD NEVER** want her character to die. I would never have her character die. I just believe that it would bring all of the people closer together and would force Lucas into realizing that even though he's always saving someone, there's someone (the person he loves the most) that he can't.

Plus that and I think that Sophia if given the oppertunity she would hit these scenes out of the park. She's a talented actress and deserves way better storylines than "my boyfriend left me for my best friend,", "I'm sleeping with my teacher," and instant clothing lines.

WTFever.

Okay, sorry about my little angry rant but I needed a place to vent. Enough said so I will move on with this update. Enjoy the chapter ladies and have a very good Sunday Evening!

Oh and PS special thanks to my fanfiction bodygaurd :-)

**Chapter Six:**

**_"God be prais'd, that to two believing souls, gives light in darkness and comfort in despair"  
-William Shakespeare_**

****

****

Three hours and fourty two minutes.

That's how long it took for the doctor to come and talk to Lucas, to tell them just what was going on with Brooke. By the time they had managed to come and speak to him, he had sent everyone else home. There was no use everyone being there, he had said. Honestly- he had done it for himself. He knew that when Brooke woke up, he wanted to be the first person she saw. He wanted to be there for her the way she had been there for him a year ago.

The doctor had told him what room number she was in and he headed down the all too familiar hall. When he finally got to the end and stared at the numbers on the door, he hesitated.

Was he the one that Brooke would want to see?

He was about to turn around and leave when he saw Haley walking towards him. "Your mom called, she said that the doctor finally started to talk to," she explained. Lucas nodded his head and leaned against the door. "Are you going to go see her?"

"I don't know," Lucas said honestly.

Haley reached out and touched Lucas's arm before putting her arms around him. "I know you're mad at her right now," Haley began to say. She paused, trying to come up with the best way to phrase what was on her mind. "But whatever Brooke's going through, she's been dealing with it on her own. I keep thinking, how could I have not known that she was sick? I was her roommate, I should have known Lucas. She never said anything to me but I knew... I knew something was wrong but I didn't push her."

"This isn't your fault," Lucas said calmly.

Haley looked through the small window that led into the room and saw Brooke. She sighed as she turned to face Lucas. "Maybe not but it's not yours either. It's no one's. This isn't anyone's fault. Things happen Lucas. Things happen to good people, it's what they do with it that matters."

"What am I supposed to do?" He questioned. He looked down at her and his eyes filled with tears. "I can't lose her. It's okay that we're not together, I'm okay that. It's okay that she's dating Nick, I understand. But I don't know what I'd do if..."

Haley cut him off, her own eyes filling with tears. "Don't say it Lucas. Whatever is going on with Brooke, whatever it is she'll get better. Brooke Davis is a fighter."

Lucas couldn't manage to say anything else as his friend ran her hand down his arm. In the distance he could see Nathan coming towards them and he knew that he needed to go into the room and see Brooke. "I should go in," Lucas said pointing towards the door.

Haley nodded her head, understanding just how hard this was for him. As he entered the room, Nathan came from behind her and reached out. "Lets get you home, okay Hales?"

"I don't want to leave," she said simply.

Nathan squeezed her shoulder. "I know but Brooke wouldn't want you to stay at the hospital. Lets just go home so that you and the baby can get some rest. We can come back first thing in the morning, I promise."

Haley was about to protest but she knew it was no use. Nathan was right, there was nothing that she could do for Brooke now anyways. The only thing that would come of sleeping at the hospital was a sleepless night and she knew that both the baby and her needed the sleep.

She agreed reluctantly and the two walked down the coridor of the hospital, leaving Lucas alone to watch over Brooke.

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Lucas shut the door quietly behind him and made his way towards the hospital bed, where Brooke was sleeping. He pulled the chair next to it and carefully sat down, hoping not to wake her up in the movement. When he knew that she hadn't woken up, he gently took her hand in his and held on to it. Lucas leaned his head down to the bed so that her hand was just inches away from his lips.

"Hey Prettygirl," he whispered. Lucas took a moment to remember his own over night stay at the hospital, where Brooke had stayed with him. He had been so stupid back then, taking his chances with Peyton and leaving Brooke. Lucas could put himself back to that moment, back to when he heard Brooke first say I love you.

He never said anything to Brooke, never thought that it was in his right. And when she never mentioned it, he tried his best to block it out. It didn't matter what happened, it was over a year ago and the situations had changed. He found himself laughing at how ironic the situation was now. It wasn't Peyton who held his heart and it wasn't him that was fighting to hold on to their life.

"Brooke," he moved his fingers over her arm and traced circles against her palm. "I know that things look bad right now but you have to hold on okay? We're going to get through this. I'll be there every step of the way," he said firmly.

Brooke shifted uncomfortably in her sleep and her eyes began to flutter open but the light in the room was too bright. "Lucas?" She asked groggily. He squeezed her hand and did his best to put on a smile for her.

"Prettygirl," he repeated.

Brooke tilted her head to the side and used the little bit of strength that she had to move her hand up to his face. She cupped his cheek and smiled slightly. "What are you doing here?" She asked.

Lucas raised his eyebrow and stuttered for the right words. "I didn't... I wanted to be here for you. I promised I'd save you, remember?" He said, a slight smile playing on his lips.

She nodded her head sadly but pulled her hand away from him. "There's nothing you can do Lucas."

"I'm going to have my mom talk to the doctors and see what exactly is going on," Lucas said ignoring her words. "And then tomorrow, we can talk about it. Okay?"

Brooke closed her eyes. "I'm so tired," she whispered.

"Get some sleep, I'll be here when you wake up."

She didn't say anything else, just simply fell back into her dreams. Lucas watched as she drifted back and he leaned back in the chair. When he knew that she had fallen asleep, he once again moved towards her. Placing a light kiss on her forehead, he stood up and reached for his cell phone.

"I know I told you I'd call as soon as I found out something," Lucas said quietly into his cell phone. "My mom is talking with the doctors right now and Haley and Nathan just left. Brooke's asleep now and I think I'm going to stay the night."

There was silence for a moment and then Lucas continued. "No Peyton, it's okay. You stay and if there's any change I will give you a call. Okay, you too. Goodnight."

Lucas hung up his cell phone and shoved it into his back pocked before heading towards the door. He gave one last look back at Brooke and smiled sadly. There wasn't a single promise he could ever remember breaking and was having trouble dealing with the fact that this might be the first time.

He exited the room, not taking notice that his ex-girlfriends eyes had opened. Brooke let out a small sob as she stared at the closed door, suddenly aware of just how off track her life had gotten.

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"What did the doctor say?" Lucas said as he took a step towards his mother. She hesitated for a moment, wanting nothing more than to protect her son from the bad news he was about to get. Karen took a hold of his hand and walked towards the couch in the waiting room, struggling for the right way to tell him the news. "Mom, what's going on? What's wrong with her?"

Karen studied her sons face, he looked so tired. It had been a long day for him. Between getting ready for the prom and waiting in the hospital room, Lucas looked like he hadn't slept in days. He ran his hand through his hair nervously and smiled slightly. "She's going to be okay, I mean it's nothing that can't be treated..."

"Lucas...there's no easy way of saying this," Karen said gently. She folded her hands in her lap and looked up at her son. His eyes were filling with tears and he nodded his head, doing his best to prepare for whatever news he was about to get. "Brooke has a type of leukemia. The technical term is acute myeloid leukemia."

Lucas felt like the wind had been knocked out of him. Leukemia? Was that even possible? He had been with her everyday for over 6 months and never saw any signs of anything. She had been so entergetic, so happy, so carefree that he had never expected cancer. "What do we do?"

"Well, there isn't much we can do."

He shook his head, angry at his mothers statement. "What do you mean there's nothing I can do? I can't just sit back and watch her die," Lucas said. He stood up and grabbed the jacket off of the couch. "I have to go," he said angrily.

"Lucas, you should stay here with Brooke."

Lucas turned back towards his mom and he hesitated. "Mom... I can't. Just can you watch her, please? I have to get out of here."

"Lucas..."

As Karen looked at her son, she knew there was no use. There was so much sadness in her sons eyes and she couldn't help but wish she could take it all away from him. At 18, her son had been through so much. Too much, she thought bitterly. Rubbing her hand over her stomach, she made herself a promise that it wouldn't be like that for Keith's child.

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Lucas didn't know where he was going when he left the hospital. He simply jumped into his car and headed down the street. It was almost one o clock in the mroning and there was nothing in Tree Hill open that late. He thought about going to his moms cafe, a place that he loved growing up. But the memories of him and Brooke there were too much for him to take. Lucas thought about going home but didn't want to face an empty house. As he drove past the rivercourt, he found himself remembering a different time in his life. A time where he had the whole world in his hands.

_"This is my world Brooke, or at least it use to be."_

_Brooke laughed. "I have been here before you know."_

_Lucas shrugged his shoulders. "I know. I just never told you what this place is to me." He stared at his friends for a moment, running around the basketball court and playing the game that he loved more than anything. Almost anything. Brooke smiled as he took a hold of her hand. "It's not just a court. It's where I came from, it's where I belong."_

_Brooke smiled up at him. "Do I get to be apart of this world?"_

_"The biggest part," he nodded his head._

And she had been.

Regardless of what she thought, Brooke Davis had been the center of his entire senior year. She had cast a spell on him, one he had still not managed to fully break free of. Brooke Davis was the reason for the person he had become, the person he was growing into. She had challenged him in more ways than anyone else. She had believed in him and supported him through the biggest issues in his life. And she had rescued him from the pain of losing Keith.

He stopped the car, angrily hitting the steering wheel. It wasn't supposed to be like this, he kept thinking to himself. There was no one in the world who deserved a good life more than Brooke. "How would you let this happen!" Lucas screamed as he continued to hit the steering wheel. There was so much he wanted to say to her, so much he wanted the two of them to experiance. All the familiar feelings of loss came rushing back to him, feelings that he had locked deep inside since their breakup.

He thought about all the things that he had planned. The tiny apartment in New York that they would share as she finished school and he coached a highschool basketball team. He thought about all of the mornings that he would miss out on waking up next to her, the holidays they would have spent together. Thoughts of engagements and weddings and children, that neither Brooke or him would ever have a chance for.

The anger in him had lessened and he felt an ache inside of him take over. He colapsed against the steering wheel and shut his eyes as the tears fell freely down his cheeks. What was he supposed to do? How was he supposed to save her?

There was a small knock on his windshield and he opened his eyes. "What are you doing here," he asked coldly.

"I knew you'd be here..." Peyton said. She pulled her leather jacket around her and pulled open the car door. Lucas didn't move from where he was sitting, didn't take the oppertunity to face her either. Peyton ran her hand over his cheek and through her hair, her heart breaking for the boy she loved. "Lucas, talk to me."

He shook his head. "I can't."

"I know you're hurting and that you're worried about Brooke. I am too," Peyton said sincerely. She was worried about her friend, the thought of Brooke being alone in the hospital scared her. "But you have to talk to someone. Lucas you've always been there for me. Let me be there for you. Let me help you."

For the first time since she had approached him in the car, Lucas stared into her eyes. "Don't you get it? I don't need help, Brooke does." She bit her lip, unaware of what to say next. "I promised I would rescue her. I promised that no matter what happened in her life, that I would rescue her like I've done for you."

"Lucas, whatever is wrong with Brooke she knows you can't save her from that," Peyton said calmly. She knew that he was blaming himself and she knew in her heart that Brooke wouldn't want that. "You just have to be there for her and help her through it."

Lucas looked away from Peyton, his eyes landing briefly on the windshield mirror and the tiny picture tucked in the corner. He had forgotten that she had stuck it there, a few months before. He saw the girl smiling back at him, so full of love and life that it made him sick to think about her lying in the hospital. "I can't save her from this and that's..." He looked back at her. "It's killing me."

"Lucas," Peyton's heart broke as she said his name. There was a desperation on his face, a look of failure in his eyes that she had never seen before. He was defeated and she didn't know what to say to make it any better for him. "Luke..."

Lucas shook his head. "I have to get back to the hospital," he said finally. He had been gone for a little over a half an hour and even though he had told his mom he needed a break, he knew where he was supposed to be. He never should have left her side. "I'll see you around Peyton."

He slammed the car door shut and sped off, leaving Peyton staring into the distance. She wrapped her arms around herself, trying to sheild herself against the cold nights air. "Is she going to be okay?" Jake said, taking his place beside her. She shut her eyes, embaressed in knowing that he had probably witnessed their whole exchange.

"He didn't say," she said honestly.

Jake shoved his hands in his pockets and turned towards her. "I just wanted to let you know that I'm leaving. I wanted to say goodbye," he smiled slightly.

"You're leaving?"

Jake nodded his head. "When Lucas called me, I thought it was your way of letting me know that you were wrong. That you wanted me in Tree Hill. I didn't know that it was Lucas's plan, that he thought it was what you wanted. Because honestly, I don't think that's changed. Your heart is here still and I really don't want to be the guy you chose because the other is in love with someone else."

"Jake it's not..." Peyton tried to explain.

Jake cut her off. "Peyton don't. Please don't lie to me okay? I knew in Savannah that you chose Lucas, even when you weren't saying the words. It's in your eyes and..." He pointed to her heart. "It's in there too. And I love you enough to want you to be happy."

"So this is goodbye? Again?" Peyton cried. "How can I ever choose you if you're never around? You come and you go and you expect me to make this huge choice... Well I can't do it."

He leaned over to touch her shoulder. "And I can't be second best," he said finally. Jake bent down and kissed her gently on the cheek. "I love you Peyton," Jake whispered before turning away from her and getting in his car.

She watched him, pulling off into the distance as Lucas had just moments ago. The two men that she had loved in so many different ways, had both left her tonight. As she struggled with the choices that she had made, tears fell down her face freely. Somehow, trying to follow her heart had gotten clouded and she had lost her way.

Where did her heart belong?

There were so many mixed emotions over which guy held it. Lucas and her had this past, this connection that nothing could compare to. And the two of them had been shorted out of a chance at a real, lasting relationship. But Jake, Jake had taught her how to love. He had been the one that had made the darkness okay, the one she felt the safest with.

She headed for her own car, knowing just where she was meant to be. And this time, there was no question.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Lucas held the flowers tightly in his hands. He had picked them, as he had done several times before. The petals were a little wilted on the edges but they were still beautiful. Lucas slid into the hospital room, once again amazed at just how small Brooke looked on the bed. He made his way toward her and sat the flower on the table. "Brooke?" He whispered quietly.

Lucas ran his fingers over her arm and nudged her. "Brooke, wake up." He raised his voice a little bit louder and her eyes fluttered open.

"Lucas?" What's wrong?" She whispered to him.

Lucas stared down at her and smiled. "Nothing beautiful. I just wanted to tell you something," he sat down on the bed beside her and took ahold of her hand in his.

"What is it?"

Lucas squeezed her hand. "I just want you to know that you're going to be okay."

Brooke tried to pull her hand away from him, and she shook her head. "You can't say that, you can't promise..." she sighed. "Lucas, it's okay."

"No, it's not. I promised I'd rescue you, remember?" He smiled.

She nodded her head sadly and he leaned towards her. "I meant it, whatever you need. Whatever needs to be done Brooke, we're going to do it. You're going to be fine. I promise," he said.

Brooke wanted to say something back to him, to tell him he was crazy for believing that he could help her. But she saw the determination in his eyes and she knew that he truly believed he would be able to help her. So, she nodded her head sadly and looked up at him. "Lay with me?" She whispered as she closed her eyes.

Lucas couldn't believe his ears. Had she just asked him to lay next to her? He didn't know what he had done to deserve another chance but somehow Brooke Davis wanted him in her life again. He carefully laid down next to her, wrapping his arms around her body as she cuddled next to him. Lucas ran his hand up her arm and gently ran his fingers through her hair.

"I'm so tired," she whispered through a yawn.

Lucas nodded his head, knowing exactly how she felt. He was exhausted and the thought of sleep was the furthest thing from his mind. "Go to sleep, I'll be here." She laid her hand over his heart and smiled softly against it. When she woke up in the morning, she knew what would happen. Her stubborn personality would resurface and she would once again try to push him out of her life. But that was tomorrow and right now, Lucas Scott was what she needed. She fell asleep comforted by the fact that the person she loved, was there loving her back.

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"Peyton! Have you been here all night?" Haley asked as she walked into the waiting room. Peyton sat up and ran her hand through her hair. She smiled as she nodded her head, aware of just how badly her neck hurt.

Peyton stood up, taking a moment to stretch before turning back towards Haley. "I saw Lucas last night and he didn't tell me what was going on with Brooke. And then Jake was there and he left..." Peyton began to say.

"I'm sorry," Haley said trying her best to comfort the blonde.

Peyton sat back down, taking a hold of the coffeee that Haley had offered her. "I just stood there. Thinking about where I wanted to be. I thought about everything that Lucas and I had been through, all the lies and the deceit and pain that our relationship caused..." She paused for a moment. "And then I began to think about Jake and Jenny." Peyton smiled warmly at the mention of the little girl who had captured her heart. "And I realized there was one place in my heart that's always been there. Always."

"Who?" Haley asked with a slight laugh. She was aware of how serious Brooke's condition was, having been up almost all night with Nathan discussing it. She needed to think about something else, anything that would help her get past this.

"Brooke," Peyton said simply. "No matter what's happened in my life, there was one thing that was always there. She was there when my mom died, when my dad started to go away out of town... She was there when Ellie died."

Haley nodded her head.

"I've been a really bad friend to her," Peyton whispered. "With everything that happened about Lucas and then actually dating him... I never should have done that. Brooke deserved better."

Haley was at a loss for words. There was no denying that Brooke deserved better than what Lucas and Peyton both had done to her. But that was in the past and right now, Brooke needed them to focus on the future. After a few minutes of waiting, Brooke's friends entered the waiting room. Nathan had taken his seat next to Haley, Skills and Bevin sat beside Peyton and Tim, Mouth and Rachel sat across from them. "Alright, we're just waiting on Lucas..." Haley said with a small smile.

As Haley began to pull out the papers from her backpack, Lucas and Karen came into sight. Nathan stood up and hugged his brother, a familiar occurance over the past few months. "Okay Hales, what did you find out?" He said finally.

Haley shifted through the lose papers before staring up at him. "She had spent all morning on the internet, finding out everything she could on the specific type of cancer that Brooke had. She had printed it all out and had read through it, trying to find a way to help Brooke through it. Haley knew about all the sideaffects and the medicines and the process that Brooke was about to face and she wanted all of the friends to know as well.

"Okay. Brooke's diagnosis is acute myeloid leukemia," Haley said confidently. There were gasps heard throughout the room, except for the select few who had found out on their own. Lucas sat down in the seat furthest away from everyone and listened as Haley continued. "What that means is that there are too many immature blood forming cells in her blood and bone marrow. They don't mature, so the amounts become numerous."

Everyone listened as Haley continued to explain the early stages of the illness, to which could be compared to signs of the flu. "She's already experiancing some of these...Weakness, fatigue, loss of appetite. Pretty soon she'll begin to have pains in her bones and her joints. Bruises will be more noticeable."

Rachel took a deep breath and said what everyone else was afraid to say. "Okay we get it. But how does she beat this?" She asked.

"Brooke knew that her blood tests had came back abnormal. So when the doctors told her that the next procedure was the bone marrow biopsy, Brooke freaked. She knew what came next..."

"Chemo," Mouth said simply.

Haley nodded her head and placed the pieces of paper down in her lap. Nathan took a hold of her hand and squeezed it, knowing that Haley had done the best she could. There wasn't much an 18 year old could do when there best friend got diagnosed with cancer. So, she did what any tutor would have done.

She studied.

Bevin raised her hand and Haley smiled at her. If it had been in another time, a different occasion, the thought of Bevin raising her hand would have been funny. Instead she just pushed Bevin to ask her question. "But chemo- isn't that where you lose all your hair and everything?"

"It has a lot of side effects but right now, it sounds like its Brooke's safest chance to beat this."

Lucas put his head in his hands as his friends continued. "That's if she even goes along with it," Rachel said.

Haley turned towards the red head and sighed. She knew that Rachel was right, that Brooke had gone against her doctors requests and had turned down the treatments before. "This is going to be hard for Brooke, she's going to need everyone's love and support," Karen finally said. She smiled around the small waiting room at all of the people in her sons life. They were all there, dedicated to the recovery of Brooke.

"Well, someone has to talk her into the chemotherapy," Nathan said finally. Haley nodded her head and everyone turned their attention to Lucas, believing that it would be him that would have the best affect on her.

Lucas shook his head no, followed by him standing up and walking towards the door. "Right now Brooke needs someone on her side, I can't be the one to tell her to against how she feels." He leaned against the door and turned towards his friends. "I'm sorry, I know that chemotherapy is the right thing. I know that but Brooke...she's stubborn. Getting her to change her mind is going to be the hardest part."

After several minutes of silence, Lucas watched as Peyton stood up. "I'll do it," she said quietly. She nodded her head and smiled firmly. "I can get her to do it."

Haley raised her eyebrow, unsure of whether or not Brooke would listen to Peyton but Peyton cut her off. "I know that Brooke and I haven't been the best of friends recently. And I know that everybody has their opinions of me but at the end of the day there's only two people that could talk her into this. Lucas is right, he shouldn't have to be the one to do this."

Lucas walked towards Peyton and wrapped his arm around her gently. "Thanks Peyt," he whispered into her ear. She pulled away from him and turned towards the rest of their friends.

"Besides, if she's going to hate somebody- it might as well be me."

**_TBC.  
Alrighty guys, there's today's update! I will be back either later tonight or tomorrow morning with another update. Hope you all enjoyed this chapter :-) R&R!  
Up next on If tomorrow Never comes:  
-Brooke is left with a tough decision _**

**_-Karen goes into labor _**

**_-Lucas and Peyton comfort each other _**

**_-Brucas moment_**


	7. Chapter 7

Authors Notes: Sorry about the delay in getting this chapter to you all. I am trying to make this story the best I can and it is taking me several days per chapter. But this update is only one of three in the next day. So I hope you all enjoy and I can't wait for the reviews.

**Chapter Seven:**

**_"If a man will begin with certainties, he shall end in doubts. But if a man will be content to begin with doubts, he shall end in certainties"  
-Francis Bacon, Sr_**

****

It had been four days since Brooke entered the hospital. She glanced around the room, taking notice of the individual cards and flowers from the people closest to her and sighed. Her parents had been in Europe when they found out that she was in the hospital and decided not to cut their second honeymoon short.

Brooke's fingers played with the tiny compact mirror in her hands and flipped it open. As she stared into it she couldn't help but notice the dark circles around her eyes, despite the hours of sleep she had recieved. She looked awful, pale skin and tired eyes.

A knock on the door startled her as she ran a hand through her hair, hoping that it wasn't Lucas. She smiled briefly, wondering if he was the one behind the door. Brooke had often wondered if he had even left the hospital since she had been admitted.

"Hey," Peyton said as she walked into the room. Brooke shifted uncomfortably in the bed. "I come in peace," Peyton laughed as she made her way across the room and sat down on the chair beside Brooke.

Brooke smiled and pointed to the bag Peyton had carried in. "Is that what I think it is?" Brooke asked as she raised an eyebrow. Peyton slowly pulled out the magazines from the bag and sat them on the bag. "Jackpot," Brooke said in satisfaction flipping between the issues of entertainment weekly, us magazine and the typical cosmo that the girls had spent countless nights reading together.

"I also brought you some normal food. It's not much, just your usual from Karen's. I also brought you the last slice of apple pie," Peyton said as she pulled the food out.

Brooke reached for the pie with a laugh. "Thank God. Because seriously, the food here could kill someone."

"That's not funny."

Brooke sighed. "It has to be funny Peyt."

The blonde hesitated for a moment, aware of how akward her friends behavior was. As she stared at the brunette, she realized that she hadn't really looked at her friend in a really long time. She couldn't remember the last time that she stared into the girls eyes. Perhaps if she had all those months ago, their friendship wouldn't have been jepordized.

"Brooke-"

With a shake of her head and a slight smile Brooke cut her off. "Look Peyt, this is great. I really needed a distraction and the magazines and the food were just what I needed."

"But..."

"But I know you. What's on your mind?" Brooke leaned back against the pillow.

Peyton stared down at the ground. "I never should have told you that I still had feelings for Lucas," Peyton said finally.

"I don't want to talk about Lucas."

Peyton nodded her head and smiled, glad that they both agreed on something. "And I don't either. But I need to say this." She hesitated as she looked up at her friend and noticed the tears in Brooke's eyes. Peyton felt her heart break all over again, knowing that she was the one that had hurt Brooke beyond repair. She wondered if their friendship would ever survive the latest blows.

"It was wrong Brooke," Peyton said. She turned her attention towards the photo frame on the table and sighed. It was a picture of Brooke, Lucas and Haley the night of the basketball banquet- the night that everything had changed. "I've never had much stability in my life Brooke. That's what I was looking for."

Brooke fought back the tears and cleared her throat. "Peyton we've been friends since we were ten," she reminded her. "It doesn't get more stable than that."

"I know and that's why I am here now," Peyton explained. "I am so sorry for betraying our friendship and I know that it doesn't mean anything to you right now. But I hope in the future you'll believe me. I'm going to be here for you Brooke, every step of the way."

Brooke's eyes focused on the photos in her room. There was a group photo and Brooke had her arms around Haley and Peyton. There were smiles on each of their faces and Brooke smiled at the memory. It was the day of the cheerleading competition, the one that they had purposely blown. Brooke had made a fool out of herself in front of everyone and yet somehow had become one of the most vivid memories in her mind.

"I need you to do something for me, okay?" Peyton asked.

Brooke raised an eyebrow and looked at her, waiting to hear just what her friend wanted. "Do you remember when my mom was sick?" Peyton asked finally. Brooke didn't say anything but nodded her head. "You told me you didn't know what you could do that would help me."

"I remember," Brooke whispered quietly.

Peyton began to smile. She was glad that Brooke was even talking to her, much less coopperating. "You told me that whatever I needed you would do."

"And you said that you would cash that in some other time," Brooke said with a laugh.

Thinking back to a time where her friendship with Peyton was the most important thing to her, made her sad. How had it gotten so screwed up?

"That times now."

Brooke met her friends gaze and Peyton continued. "I love you Brooke, you're my best friend. And I need you here. I need you to take the chemo." She took a deep breath and waited for her friend to say something. Peyton finally looked up from her hands and stared into her friends eyes.

Brooke was at a loss for words. Anger flared inside of her and she felt the urge to lean over and slap Peyton. She resisted and just shook her head sadly. The girl who sat in front of her had no right to ask anything, much less ask that. "Leave," Brooke said quietly.

Peyton's eyes glazed with tears as she reached for Brooke's hand. "Brooke- please," Peyton pleaded. "I know I have no right asking you and I am the last person in the world that you should listen to... But I've loved you the longest. I need you to do this."

"And I needed you to not kiss my boyfriend! I needed to be able to trust you!" Brooke cried out. "You told me you would never do anything else to hurt me and yet you turned around and did that same thing. Again."

Peyton looked down at the floor. "I know that Brooke and I can't tell you how sorry I am. But this is your life you're messing with. The chemo might be the only thing that could save you."

"Do you know what chemo would do to me? Have you even thought about that?" Brooke asked, her anger had lessened and she just shook her head in defeat. "I'd lose it all. My self confidence, my appearance, my ability to be a cheerleader, my hair..."

Tears fell down Brooke's cheeks as she stared down into her lap. "I'm 18 years old! Peyton, I had my whole life ahead of me. All I wanted to do was spend it like everyone else. I want to be able to go to graduation and throw my cap in the air. I want to be able to go to college and go to all the parties. I wanna get married," she whispered.

Peyton was about to say something when the door to her room opened and a nurse slipped in. "I have some tests your doctor wants me to run. Peyton, you're going to have to leave." the nurse said making her way over to Brooke.

Brooke nodded her head as she wiped the tears off of her face. "It's okay because we were done anyways." Peyton shook her head no but Brooke ignored her. "It was nice seeing you Peyton," Brooke said as Peyton got up and headed towards the door.

Just as she was about to leave, Peyton turned around. She smiled back at her friend and leaned against the door frame. "Brooke," Peyton called as her friend stared at her. "You want all of those things? Then take the chemo. Don't do it for me and don't do it for you."

Peyton opened the door as she continued.

"Do it for Lucas."

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"DAMN IT!"

Dan shouted as he ran down the hospital corridor, turning towards the maternity ward. He was in the middle of a press confrence when he had gotten the page, Karen's water had broke and was about to have the baby. He had taken off with no other words to the people surrounding him, his only thought was towards his ex and his niece.

He had half expected to be there within ten minutes, he was afterall use to getting what he wanted and planned. But there was no way to control traffic, even though he thought about paying everyone to move aside.

"I'm here to see Karen Scott," Dan said absentmindidly.

The tall nurse glanced through her paperwork and looked up at him, still in shock that the mayor was standing in front of her. "I'm sorry sir but there's no one here by that name..." The nurse said, once again flipping through the papers.

Dan rolled his eyes. "Karen Roe, I'm sorry."

The nurse nodded her head and pointed towards the hallway. "Third door on the left. Closing time is in an hour and the mom and the baby need some sleep."

"Is it... is it a boy?" Dan asked quietly.

The nurse shook her head no and smiled towards Dan. "It's a girl. Karen had a beautiful, healthy baby girl." With no other words, Dan took off towards Karen's room. He walked slowly, taking his time to think about what he was going to say to the mother of his brother's baby- the brother who he had killed less than a year ago.

Dan looked down at his empty hands, feeling upset that he hadn't even managed to stop and get her flowers. He had been trying so hard to believe that he could be redeemed- so hard to believe that Karen could forgive him. But if she knew the truth, she would hate him. She would hate him and wish that it was him that was dead and not her precious Keith.

Just as Dan was about to open the hospital door towards her room, he peeked in the window. Karen was laying in the hospital bed, a huge smile on her face. She had tears in her eyes and she looked tired but he couldn't remember a time where she looked more beautiful. Lucas made his way across the room and placed the baby in her arms, smiling down at his mother and sister.

As Dan stared into the room, at the life he could have had and rejected- he felt a bit remorseful. If he had chosen Karen in college, none of what had happened over the years would have happened. There would have been no jealousy between him and his brother and perhaps he wouldn't have been racked with guilt.

But he shook his head, knowing full and well that the choices he made might have been wrong...but he had chosen them. And there was nothing he could do to take back the choices he made. All he could do from that moment on, was be there for Karen however she needed him. He could be there for her and the baby, to prove to her that he could become the man she had always believed him to be.

"Congratulations," Dan said as he stepped in the room.

He made his way towards his son and the mother of his oldest child and stared down at the baby. Lucas looked at his mom, afraid of just how attatched she was getting to his father. "I should probably get going," Lucas managed to say. He stood up and shoved his hands in his pockets, not taking his eyes away from his mom. "I need to check on Brooke anyways."

"Send Brooke my love," Karen said as her son leaned down and kissed his mom on the forehead. Lucas nodded his head as he muttered a goodbye to Dan, before heading out of the room. Karen held the baby in her arms and smiled down at her. "She's so beautiful," she whispered as she rubbed her thumb over the baby's tiny cheeks.

Dan cleared his throat as he looked down at the baby, having a hard time getting words out. "Is it..." He stammered. "Have you named her yet?" Karen nodded her head as she leaned towards Dan, so that he could get a closer look.

"Bethany Ann," she whispered.

Dan found himself smiling down at the baby in Karen's arms, amazed at the power his neice had on him already. One look at the small baby and he was feeling more remorse and guilt over his actions. "I should go..." Dan said, standing up hesitantly. He didn't want to say anything, didn't want to slip up and let Karen know something was wrong.

But he swore, if he just looked down at the baby that he could see Keith staring back at him. "Dan..." Karen said quietly. He locked eyes with her as she tilted her head to the side. "Would you... would you like to hold her?"

Dan's eyes widened. It was a huge step for Karen even allowing him in the room with her, let alone to let him hold the baby. After all those years of him not being there for her and now she was finally asking...finally allowing him to be apart of her life.

"I'd love to," he said finally.

Karen held the baby up so that Dan could get a grasp on her and he gently rocked the baby. He moved carefully around the room, soothing the baby with his calm voice and Karen held her hand up to her mouth. How was it possible that this man, who she had hated for so many years become so important to her?

"Damn you Dan," Karen sighed.

Dan turned towards her, his eyebrow arched in confusion. He had thought he was doing what she wanted, had thought that this is what Keith himself would have done. "What did I do?" He asked her quietly, sitting the baby in her bassinet.

"You're doing it again," Karen began. She rubbed her head. "I can't fall for you," she whispered. He looked up at her, with mixed emotions running through his eyes. Eighteen years had come between him and Karen. Eighteen years of anger and hatrid and sorrow and jealousy had ripped the two apart. And now, here they were- and he was even more in love with her now than he was then.

"I've never stopped loving you Karen," he said sincerly. And he meant it. He had screwed up in so many ways but still somehow the love he felt for her, the passion had never strayed.

Karen didn't say anything but stared at him. They stayed in silence for several minutes before Karen nodded her head sadly and reached across the bed towards him. She reached for his hand and squeezed it.

"I'm glad you're here," Karen smiled.

Dan nodded his head.

Perhaps- for once he'd be enough.

And even if he wasn't- he'd try.

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"Lucas I really shouldn't be out of my room," Brooke said as she looked up at him. He had come to her just moments before and informed her that they were taking a trip. She wasn't up to walking so he had asked a nurse for a wheelchair, wanting nothing more but to share his news with Brooke. "Lucas where are we going?"

Lucas smiled down at her as he rounded the corner. "There's someone I want you to meet." He pulled her in front of the huge windows, looking into the small nursery of the maternity ward. There were several babies lying in their individual bassinets. "Brooke Davis, I'd like you to meet my sister. Bethany Ann."

Brooke's mouth fell open as she stared through the window at the tiny baby in front of her. She was beautiful, so small and delicate and Brooke found herself wanting to cry. She head her hand over her mouth and touched the window, never once looking at Lucas.

"She's so beautiful Luke... when did she deliver?"

Lucas looked at his watch as he bent down beside Brooke. "Three hours ago. Can you believe it? I have a baby sister," he said with a grin. It was amazing, how much love he felt for the little girl. She was this beautiful gift from God, a mix between her mother and the only father he had ever known.

"She looks like Keith," Brooke said with a smile on her face.

Lucas nodded his head, knowing in his heart that what Brooke had said was true. Lucas wrapped his arm around Brooke and squeezed her shoulders. "I miss him," he whispered quietly.

"He's with you everyday Luke. In everything you do."

Brooke laid her head against Lucas' arms and stared into the window at the baby. The other baby's in the room were just as little, just as beautiful and yet Brooke couldn't help the tears that were forming in her eyes.

"Brooke what's wrong?" Lucas said, pushing Brooke's loose hair from in front of her face.

She looked down at the floor and sighed. "It's just hard knowing that you'll never have that."

"Don't say that."

Brooke shrugged her shoulders. "Lucas, in case you forget I'm dying. This isn't some soap opera where one minute I'm dying and then the next it's gone. It's real Luke. The truth is we don't know how much longer I have. I don't even know if I get to live to see a wedding, let alone having kids!"

"We're going to fight this Brooke. Whatever needs to be done, we're going to get through this."

Brooke sighed as Lucas ran his hand through his hair. "And how are we going to do that?" She asked.

"There's drugs you can take... There's specialists you can see and chemotherapy you can take."

Brooke pulled away from him and leaned back against her wheelchair. She rolled her eyes and laughed. "I should have known," Brooke said in disgust. "What else have you and Peyton been talking about behind my back?" She said in anger. She threw her hands up in the air and backed her wheelchair away from him.

"You know what? Nevermind. Forget it Luke. Because everytime I think that I can trust you again- it always comes back to Peyton."

Lucas reached towards Brooke, afraid that this would be his last chance at getting through to her. He stood up and rubbed his forehead, tired of trying to understand Brooke and her insecurities. His track record with Peyton was bumpy and he had made a lot of mistakes but didn't she understand that she was it for him?

"I love you Brooke," Lucas said simply.

Brooke laughed again as she crossed her arms over her chest. "Second time I've heard those words today and yet I still don't believe it." Brooke looked towards the baby and sighed. "Tell Karen I said congratulations okay, I'm feeling tired and I should probably head back now."

"Let me take you."

She shook her head no. She placed both hands on either side of the wheelchair and began to push herself away from Lucas. "I can do this on my own," Brooke said finally as she headed down the hall, leaving a very dissapointed Lucas in the distance.

_"Yeah,"_ Brooke said to herself with a nod. _"I can do this alone."_

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Brooke had been suprised to find Rachel in her room when she had returned. She had brought Brooke dinner and a few of her favorite cds and even though Rachel hadn't said anything about the cancer, Brooke knew she was having a hard time dealing with the news.

It had been strangely comforting to know that someone was keeping quiet on her behalf. Perhaps because Rachel understood what it was like to want to be beautiful, to want to be young and gorgeous. She understand the pressures and demands that the world had on girls like them and she accepted Brooke because they were more alike than they cared to admit.

And even though Rachel had only stayed for an hour, it was still a good visit. She hadn't mentioned Peyton or Lucas but had sucessfully managed to deliver all the gossip that had been happening in school since Brooke had been away.

Brooke laid her head against the pillow and flipped on the television, passing quietly through the channels. A spanish novella was on and she was oddly comforted once again by the sincerity of the actors emotions. She flipped the channel again, landing on an old episode of Three's Company and decided that even though she loved John Ritter, perhaps that wasn't the best show to watch. Saved by the bell was on the next channel, one of her favorite episodes about Kelly choosing Zach as her date for prom. Dawson's Creek was next and she groaned inwardly.

Was that fate's cruel joke, trying to remind her that there would always be a triangle between the three of them?

Brooke didn't have the stomach or the heart to go through the love triangle from hell again. After countless hours of contemplation, weeks ago Brooke had given both Lucas and Peyton up. Freed them to be together and even inwardly wished they would. Because then she could accept that walking away from Lucas had been the right thing to do.

But even with Brooke out of the picture, Lucas and Peyton hadn't gotten their chance. They somehow hadn't worked out. Brooke had always believe in fate, always believed that people who were meant to be together, eventually worked things out. But over the past few months, she had forgotten what she had believed in.

If Lucas and her were meant to be together, as she had believed most of her senior year- then why had she been diagnosed with cancer? It took away her chances of a happily ever after and it was something that she didn't want Lucas to have to go through.

She sighed, knowing that there were always obsticles in the way of the important things in life. The best things in life are the ones worth fighting for and if she shut her eyes, she could remember Lucas's harsh words.

**_"You told me to fight for you and I did. But you never fought for me."_**

****

Tears entered her eyes and she knew that he had been right, all those months ago. She had been the one to walk away from him, handed him back his heart and pretended that it had meant nothing to her. And now here she was, doing it again.

If Lucas wanted to be there for her through this, she knew she had to let him. Otherwise, the time that she did have left she'd end up regretting. After making her decision, she grabbed the hospital phone and franticlly dialed the all too familiar cell phone number before she could change her mind.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"Hey," Lucas said as he entered Peyton's room. She was sitting at her desk, staring at the computer keyboard in front of her and jumped from his voice. "Sorry- I didn't mean to scare you..." Lucas said as he sat on her bed.

Peyton shook her head and turned towards him, smiling slightly. "What's going on Luke?" She looked down at her clothes, simple drawstring shorts and a tank top and was embaressed at just how much skin was showing. There had been times in the past few months, that she had intentionally shown skin, trying her best to arouse interest in her former boyfriend. But somehow she knew that this visit wasn't about them.

It was about Brooke.

"I don't know what to do Peyt," Lucas said finally. He put his head in his hands and leaned over, letting her wrap her arms around him. "She's slipping away and there's nothing I can do to make this right."

Peyton rubbed his back, listening to Lucas as he continued. "I'm losing her, I'm losing her and I don't even have her!" She remembered a time, where it had been his life that was in danger. When they had been sneaking behing Brooke's back and having their secret affair. She remembered what it felt like, wondering if he was going to pull through and live. Peyton understood, better than anyone what he was going through.

"I talked to her..."

Lucas pulled away from Peyton and waited for her to continue. But he could tell from the look on her face that whatever had happened between Brooke and her, it hadn't helped the situation. "She told me she never wanted to see me again and said I had no right to ask her to take the chemo."

"I figured," Lucas said.

Peyton nodded her head and laughed slightly. "So did I, I just thought that you know...at least she'd think about it. I knew that I was probably the last person she needed to hear it from but I just kept thinking... We've been best friends forever. If anyone could get through to her, I thought it would be me."

Her own eyes filled with tears and it was Lucas' turn to comfort the blonde. He pulled her into a hug, squeezing her tightly and placing a kiss on the top of her forehead. Lucas ran his fingers through her hair, smiling against her skin at Peyton's love for Brooke. "Brooke's going to come around," Lucas whispered against her neck.

Peyton could feel Lucas' breath against her neck and she tilted her head to the side. She knew it was wrong but she was caught up in the moment. Peyton turned her head towards Lucas and there lips met together, for the first time since their breakup. Her tounge slid into Lucas' mouth and he franticlly pulled her close to him.

"We have to stop," he whispered against her skin.

She nodded her head as she deepened the kiss and began to play with his shirt collar. As her fingers undid the top botton, his cell phone went off. It startled both of them and Lucas scrambled to stand up, embaressed at his lack of control.

What was it with the two of them?

How come everytime a life altering situation occured, Lucas found himself drawn to her? He looked down at his cell phone and the missed call and sighed. Brooke. Peyton knew it without him having to say it. "It was Brooke, I understand. Go be with her," Peyton smiled. She tried her best to contain the hurt that was running through her as she smoothed her hair the best she could.

He walked to the door, not offering a goodbye but turned around. There was a look of guilt on his face as he shook his head. "Neither one of us deserve her," Lucas said. As Lucas left out of her room, Peyton sighed inwardly knowing in her heart that Lucas was right.

Neither of them did.

TBC...

Okay so I am getting rotten tomato's thrown at my computer right? LoL, anyways I know I know. Leyton sucks (sorry any fans that are reading this by accident.) But situations arise and things happen and I have to add drama to the story somehow. But the next chapter has a bunch of BL in it so I hope it makes up for their kiss. Ewe, I don't even like it and I wrote it. OK but please remember to leave a review, they mean a lot!


	8. Chapter 8

**Author's Notes:** Okay so I got some rotten tomato's for that chapter. lol. Anyways, I have REASONS for the way this story is going and I just want to say everyone that was mad at Peyton was right! Peyton sucks and she is a horrible friend. We know this, we've seen it week in and week out on OTH. I don't want to make this story unbelievable and I think I am doing a good job at keeping it accurate to the show. Anyways, Peyton's road to redemption might not be easy but it's a hell of a lot easier than Dan's ;-)

**Chapter Eight**

**_"Deep down even the most hardened criminal is starving for the same thing that motivates the innocent baby: love and acceptance"  
-Lilly Fairchilde_**

****

Peyton stared at her bedroom walls, carefully trying to find answers for what had happened the night before. How had she been so careless, so hurtful towards Brooke? How had she forgotten about the pain it had caused Brooke, or the turmoil it would put Lucas through? She glanced down at the cd in her hands and threw it against the wall.

"What have I done!" Peyton yelled, to no one but herself.

And then, the image appeared. The slightly humerous, darker version of herself crossed the room and sat in front of her. She had a smile on her face as she reached across and pushed Peyton's hair behind her ears. "Hey there," she said with a grin as she leaned back further in the chair.

"Great. I'm seeing myself again," Peyton muttered before turning away from her other self and walking into the closet. She grabbed her jacket and her shoes and headed for her bedroom door, turning back towards the gothic angel behind her. "I need some air."

Gothic Peyton shook her head and laughed. "You need more than that," she started. Peyton turned towards her, tears in her eyes and just collapsed against the bed. "What have you done this time?"

"I've betrayed Brooke..."

The other nodded her head and pretended to ring a bell. "Ding ding ding, you got it right. Now- what are you going to do about it?" She crossed her arms over her chest and stared at the emotional blonde in front of her.

"You're the one that told me to go after Lucas. You're the one who said I should be with him and not Brooke."

The gothic replica of herself shook her head. "In case you haven't gotten the memo, we're the same person. I just say things you're too afraid to say. And I'm hotter." She stood up and made her way towards Peyton's dresser, running her fingers over the photos on the top shelf. "You've ruined a lot you know."

"You mean we," Peyton said sarcasticlly.

The girl rolled her eyes before turning her attention back at the upset blonde. "The question is, what are you going to do about it?"

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"Mr. Scott, line one is for you."

Dan pulled himself out of concentration as his secretary buzzed in the message. He hesitated, not wanting to really talk to anyone. His fingers pressed line one and he carefully picked up the phone, drawing in a deep breath. "Dan Scott," he said into the phone.

There was silence and then he was greeted by the sound of deep breaths. "Who is this?" He asked into the phone, angry at whatever prank was going on again. "Damn it, answer me!"

"I think you know who it is..." the voice said quietly.

Dan shook his head and hung up the phone. He knew it was impossible, Keith was dead and there was no bringing him back. It was all in his head, he had to keep reminding himself that. Either that or someone knew his secret and he just couldn't face that. Because that would mean his world was going to crash down around him.

He turned away from his desks, staring at the walls lined with ellaborat paintings and a few pictures on the wooden shelves. "You need to leave me alone," Dan yelled.

"And why would I want to do that?"

Dan jumped, a bit startled at the persons voice. Standing in his doorway, was Whitey. He groaned to himself before standing up and picking up the paperweight in his hands. He threw it from hand to hand, careful not to drop it as Whitey crossed the room and took a seat in front of him.

"What in the hell are you doing here?" Dan spat out.

Whitey grinned. "What's wrong Danny Boy? Expecting someone else?" He asked with a raised eyebrow. Whitey just shrugged his shoulders. "I spoke to Karen today and heard she had her baby girl. That's great news, a child of Keith's running around."

"Yeah it's a gift," Dan said. He smiled for a moment and cleared his throat. "From God."

Whitey nodded his head and looked over his shoulder at Dan's secretary. "She's a firecracker that one. But then again, you always knew how to pick the ladies."

"Okay Whitey enough with the games. Why are you here?"

Whitey's smile fell as he continued to stare at Dan. "I thought perhaps we could bury the hatchet. Your niece is going to need a lot of people in her life since your brother isn't around."

Dan leaned against his desk. 'Keith isn't around because I killed him,' Dan thought to himself. "So you want to call a truce," Dan said.

Whitey nodded his head. "I think it's best for everyone. For Bethany and Karen," Whitey's voice was barely a whisper as he continued. He locked eyes with Dan and then continued. "And for Keith."

"I guess you're right. We've been fighting too long," Dan said. He thought a moment before he stuck out his hand towards his sworn enemy. "Truce." Whitey hesitated, knowing that truce was the last thing either of them really wanted.

"Truce."

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Haley held Nathan's hand as she entered Brooke's hospital room. She was suprised to find it empty, with a note on the table. Haley grabbed the note and then read it aloud.

_**Rachel and I are having breakfast in the cafeteria. Will be back to the room in a half an hour.**_

She turned towards Nathan and sighed. "What are we going to do Nate?"

"We just have to be there for Brooke," he explained.

Haley wrapped her arms around him and shut her eyes. "I just can't lose her. She was there for me, since the tour... When no one wanted to be around me, she was there. And then when I found out I was pregnant, it was Brooke who comforted me."

"You just have to return the favor." He tried his best to comfort his wife, running a hand up and down her back. He used his hand to tilt her head, so that she was looking up at him. "Brooke's going to come around, sooner or later. She's going to realize that chemo is the best thing for her and she's going to begin treatments. Then it's going to get a whole lot worse but then it'll get better."

Haley shook her head. "When did you become the stable on?" She laughed quietly.

Nathan shrugged his shoulders as he placed his hand firmly on her growing stomach. "About the same time you got crazy with horemones," he offered. Haley swatted at his arm before leaning against him with a laugh. She knew that the pregnancy was making her emotions like a roller coaster and she was glad that he was there to balance her out. "Maybe we should go and eat breakfast with Brooke and Rachel."

Haley nodded his head and smiled. "Come to think of it, I'm a little hungry."

He laughed as he grabbed a hold of her hand and looked down at her with a smile. "You're always hungry." She rolled her eyes again but didn't say anything, she knew it was true. "Let's go."

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"So you called him and he didn't even stop by?"

Rachel looked at Brooke as she continued to eat the oatmeal in front of her. As a kid, she remembered her grandmother giving it to her with cinnamon and cut apples and it strangely comforted her. Brooke nodded her head sadly but didn't even look up from her bowl. "He didn't even call back," Brooke said with a sigh.

Rachel didn't understand but that wasn't the first time in Brooke and Lucas's relationship that she felt like an idiot. Ever since she arrived in Tree Hill, the two's relationship had been like a foreign language to her. Who in the hell decided what their destiny was at 17? Who found their soulmates while they were still in highschool?

She rolled her eyes as her thoughts drifted towards Nathan and Haley, who had gotten married their junior year of highschool. How realistic had that been? No one had seen it coming and she herself was suprised it had lasted as long as it had. Perhaps that's how it was in Tree Hill. It was such a boring town that you had to settle down fast, so that you didn't die of boredom.

"Well maybe he had his phone turned off."

Rachel wasn't good at comforting Brooke, hell at comforting anyone. There wasn't a need to most of the time. She pretended to be a bitch so that no one could get under her tough exterior. Only a handful of people knew the real Rachel Gatina, and Brooke was one of them. She had been there for her, when no one else had. Even though all of the crap that Rachel had put her through, Brooke was still sitting beside her.

"It's too late, I think Lucas finally realized that it's never going to work out between us," Brooke said as she played with the spoon in her oatmeal. "Which is better anyways because I don't think I really want him around..."

Rachel sighed, not knowing who Brooke was trying to convince. She knew deep down that Brooke was hurting over Lucas and was upset because she finally believed their relationship was over. Deciding it was best for her to change the subject, Rachel reached towards her purse. "So Nick called," Rachel said.

Brooke looked up at her friend and groaned. She hadn't thought about Nick since she had entered the hospital, let alone dealt with her cheating boyfriend. "What did you tell him?" Brooke asked quietly.

"That he should roll over and die." Rachel laughed. "But then he showed up at our house with this beautiful boquet of flowers. I kept them but I brought you the note," she said handing it over. Brooke played with the envelope before turning it over, she noticed it had already been opened and she rolled her eyes.

"Thanks for opening it," Brooke said with a smile.

Rachel shrugged her shoulders. "I do what I can," she said with a wave of her hands. Brooke opened the note and read the quick apology before throwing it on her tray to be thrown out. "Well...what do you think?"

"I think Nick's a creep."

Brooke's honesty made Rachel laugh. "He was a handsome creep," Rachel smirked. Brooke nodded her head and laughed along with her. "If you know like the whole teacher seducing a student thing...Which of course I wouldn't understand because ewe, have you seen the majority of our teach..."

Rachel was cut off by the look on Brooke's face. Her mouth was open and she was staring at the cafeteria's doors. Rachel turned around to get a better look at what Brooke was staring at. Before she had realized it, Lucas had approached the two of them at the table and bent down so that he was at eye level with Brooke.

"Lucas, what are you doing here?" Brooke asked quietly.

Lucas hesitated for a moment before turning towards Rachel. "Can I have a minute?" Lucas asked, and Brooke sent Rachel a look. She didn't want Rachel to leave, she was afraid of what Lucas was about to say. Rachel didn't give her a chance to say anything though she just stood quietly and grabbed her cell phone, knowing that Lucas needed a few minutes with his ex.

"Brooke..." Lucas whispered. He cupped her cheeks with his hands and rubbed them gently. "I have someone else I want you to meet. Will you come with me?" Brooke hesitated but then nodded her head slowly. She was nervous, unsure of whether or not going with Lucas was the right thing to do. Afterall, when she called him he hadn't been there.

Lucas pushed the wheelchair down the hallway and stopped at one of the very last doors. He knocked on the door gently and heard the approval for him to come in. As he pushed Brooke into the room, Brooke looked up to see a little child sitting up in her hospital bed. The girl was frail and didn't look a day older than 8. Brooke turned to Lucas, unsure as to why she was even here.

"Brooke, I would like you to meet Hope," Lucas said bringing the wheelchair closer to the little girl. Her parents were sitting in the chairs next to the bed and Brooke looked up at Lucas confused. He noticed the look on her face and continued. "She was diagnosed with leukemia at 6 years old," Lucas explained. Brooke felt tears enter her eyes as she nodded her head sadly. "She's in remission now."

Brooke smiled. "That's great, you two must be thrilled..." Brooke turned towards her happy parents, who nodded their heads. "If you could excuse me..." Brooke said, she couldn't take it. Lucas had no right to bring her here, no right to see the family of cancer survivors.

The girl reached out for Brooke's hand. "Brooke, right?" The young child asked quietly. Brooke nodded her head but kept her distance. "Do you think we could have a few minutes?" She asked turning to her parents and then to Lucas. The three nodded their heads and left one by one out of the hospital room. "I get to go home tomorrow," the little girl said.

"That's great news," Brooke replied honestly. She felt happy for the little girl, who could experiance the real world again for the first time.

The girl reached for her hair and pulled off the blonde wig before placing it in her lap. Brooke held back the gasp that was forming in her throat. The girl played with the tiny blonde curls and tugged at them gently. "The doctor says I should get my hair back, it'll take a while but it'll start to return."

Brooke nodded her head. "I'm going to miss this though," the girl continued. "Getting to wear the wigs was the best part. Everyday of the week I got to wear a different one. Sometimes they were blonde, sometimes they were red. My mom picked out different lengths and styles and I was happy because I got to look normal again."

"You are so strong for your age," Brooke whispered.

The girl shook her head sadly but looked at Brooke. "I'm strong because of the people around me. My mom and dad have been there everystep of the way. Sometimes my friends come to see me and even some of my old teachers stop by."

Brooke found herself cold and she wrapped her arms around herself for comfort. "The treatments were hard. I was tired a lot of the time, I barely had energy to do all of the things that I loved. But it's better now. Pretty soon I'll be able to play hide and seek with my friends and maybe even go to cheerleading camp."

Brooke smiled at the young girl and reached to grab a hold of her hand. She had never met a girl with more strength in her life. "Thank you Hope," Brooke said with a smile.

The young girl nodded her head but laughed quietly. "My name's Shelly, actually."

Brooke raised an eyebrow at the little girl, whom she had been introduced to as Hope. With a smile, Brooke reached over to hug the girl and nodded her head, knowing just what Lucas had done. "I really hope you get to go to cheerleading camp, I use to love it when I was younger."

"Maybe someday you can teach me some cheers," the girl suggested.

Brooke found herself nodding her head as she fought back the tears. "I'd like that," she managed to say through her emotions.

**_Someday._**

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Today hadn't gone as planned for Haley. She had arrived at the hospital with the full intention on talking to Brooke. But after not finding her in her own room and heading down to the cafeteria, to find her not there either Haley was at a loss. She told Nathan that she needed to go and see Peyton and that she needed to do it by herself.

Haley knocked on Peyton's front door and was suprised when no one answered. She pushed open the door and called out towards Peyton. "Peyt? Are you home?" Haley asked walking into the hallway of the Sawyer home. She headed for the stairs, wanting to find her friend. "Peyton! It's Haley," she said as she walked up the stairs and headed into Peyton's bedroom.

She was suprised to find her room empty except for the furniture. Haley looked around at the empty bookshelves that had been filled with pictures, her desk had been cleared off all her papers and homework and the dresser had been emptied as well.

Haley sat down on the bed and sighed, grabbing a hold of her cell phone. She dialed her friends number and waited for Peyton to pick up, when her machine came on she left a message explaining for Peyton to call her back.

As her eyes darted around the room, she found herself staring at several envelopes on her nightstand. She grabbed a hold of them, realizing that the first one had Brooke's name on it. Followed by Lucas and then one was adressed to both her and Nathan. She ripped open the one addressed to her and sighed as she began to read the letter.

_Nathan and Haley,  
I just want you to know that I tried my hardest with Brooke. I know deep down that she'll come around and do the right thing but with me here... it might not help things. So I've decided to put a little space between me and Tree Hill. Don't worry though, I'll be back before you deliver the baby Haley, I promise. I just think that it's for the best of everyone if I disappear for a little while. I don't know where I'm going and I am not sure how long I will stay away. I think that's the beauty of it, I'm going to find my own way and it's not going to include Lucas or Jake...or even Brooke. Send them all my love and let them know my thoughts and prayers are with them. I love you guys,  
Peyton._

Haley folded the letter up and placed it in her back pocket, upset that her friend had left without even seeing her. She wondered quietly what had happened between her and Brooke that caused Peyton to leave but she knew that more than likely it had something to do with Lucas. Her cell phone rang and she opened it, hoping that it was Peyton.

"Haley, it's me Lucas," Lucas said into the phone. Haley was about to say something when Lucas cut her off. "It's Brooke, she's decided to take the chemo."

**_TBC.  
Okay there's one more update and then there will be a hiatis until after this weekend. Cause the guest I thought I was getting a few weeks ago is actually coming home tonight and lets just say I am not really thrilled. Please read and review guys! So here's what's up next in If tomorrow Never comes:  
-Brooke gets a suprise visitor _**

**_-Lucas struggles with the aftermath of his kiss with Peyton _**

**_-Haley and Rachel form a bond _**

**_-Brucas moment_**


	9. Author's Notes

Hey guys! 

I said that I would have another update tonight but the truth is I have it written but I haven't re read it to make sure it is how I want the story to flow. Anyways, I know a lot of you are aggrivated with some things regarding this story and I just want to let you know that it is intentional! I do everything on purpose, I promise.

I wanted you to know that this story is going to be really long, probably around 100 or so chapters so expect for an up and down roller coaster ride for most of the characters. I can say this though, Peyton will be gone through till well into chapter 20 or so.

Right now I want to focus on the people in the story who are directly effected by Brooke and her illness. That meaning Brooke, Lucas and the return of some very unpleasant people (any wild guesses? lol). It's not going to be easy for Brooke to deal with taking chemo and she's going to need all the people supporting her, how will she feel when the one person she's always depended on, has suddenly left town?

I also want to give you all some heads up on what is to come regarding storylines so incase you are all saying WTF. I sometimes ask myself that when I read other storys so here is the break down on what is going to be going on in Tree Hill.

First and formost, the relationship with BL is the reason for this story. As the chapters progress, Brooke's going to finally hear the truth from the person she's loved. There's going to be some sadness before you get Brucas back to being a "happy" couple, facing the illness together.

Haley/Nathan- In this story Haley is about 6 months pregnant right now. I didn't want to do it like the show and assume that Haley is further along than Karen, I wanted Karen to be the one to have the baby first. None of the stuff that's happening on the show is going on though, no Daunte and Nathan is (suprise!) actually working. They're going to have a smooth ride for a while, until the baby is born.

Karen/Dan- I know where I am going with this and to be honest I am doing it as a fan, who wants to live in denial. I **WISH** to God I could write that Keith was still alive and it was some grand scheme designed to bring down Dan. Unfortunately it's not and the bad guy **MUST!** be taken down. But by who?

Rachel- she's turning out to be pretty okay in the show and every week that passes you can tell just how fond of Brooke she really is. So I wanted to keep it true to that and have her actually be there to support Brooke and what she is going through, all the while being the "Rachel" we have hated.

As for Jake/Jeyton... The truth is out of all the charecters (even Brooke), I relate more to Jake than anyone. And I don't feel right including him in this story at this time or even in the future. Peyton doesn't deserve Jake's love and affection on the show and sure as hell not in this story. Now depending on how she acts in the future, I might bring him back to Tree Hill. If not, just assume he's living in Savannah still with Jenny.

And my last order of buisness is the last few chapters have been kind of laced with spelling errors. Sorry for that. The computer I am on doesn't have microsoft word and I am use to checking my spelling from that... So bare with me and I should be correcting those chapters within the next few days. So for whoever actually took the time to read this LOOOOOONG author's note, just wanted to say thanks. And I should have a few new chapters up Monday night.

Have a great weekend.  
Dayz


	10. Chapter 10

Author's Notes: Alright. Here is the first of today's updates, next chapter will be up in less than an hour. Hopefully this chapter will make everyone a bit happy, there are a few Brooke and Lucas moments and maybe even a bit of redemption for Lucas. Who knows. Anyways, leave me reviews because I love them! Let me know what you think :-)

**Chapter Nine: **

**_"When you approach a problem, strip yourself of preconceived opinions and prejudice, assemble and learn the facts of the situation, make the decision which seems to be the most honest and then stick to it." _**

**_-Chester Bowles_**

Brooke watched in astonishment as Lucas hung up the phone and shook her head. She couldn't believe that he had told Haley that she was ready for the treatment. "I can't believe you did that," Brooke said with a sigh.

"You said you were ready to fight this."

Brooke shook her head and looked at the hospital room in front of her. She could see the little girl and her parents, all three overcome with the joy they were experiencing. "That doesn't mean I can go through with the chemotherapy. I've been doing a lot of thinking and I still think it's best if I live out my life. Normally."

"Best for who? Brooke, the doctors said your only chance at beating this is to take the treatments. I don't understand why you're being stubborn about this." Lucas bent down so that he was at eye level with her and took a hold of her hands. "I love you," he paused for a moment. Brooke didn't look at him as he continued. "I love you more than anyone else in this world and I want what's best for you. I know that I'm not that person but... this is your chance to find it."

Brooke took a deep breath and felt the tears enter her eyes. She wasn't sure what she was doing, she didn't want to agree to something this life changing. More than anything, she wanted to erase the past few years and live her life differently. She would have made so many other choices, explored so many other things... It wasn't fair that they were all being taken away from her. "Okay," Brooke whispered. Lucas wasn't sure whether or not he was hearing things, so he waited for her to continue. "I said okay," Brooke said. Her voice was barely above a whisper as he wrapped his arms around her, overwhelmed by relief. "I just don't want to be here anymore Luke. If I agree to these treatments, I want to go home."

"Whatever you want," Lucas said.

Brooke nodded her head and smiled slightly.

"Let's call the doctor and see if I can be released."

Lucas gave Brooke one last smile, before he pushed her wheelchair down the hallway. He found himself thinking about his own decisions regarding his health and realized that he knew where Brooke was coming from. The road ahead for Brooke was no doubt going to be bumpy, he was sure. But from the look on Brooke's face, he knew she was ready to fight it.

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"What are you doing here?" Haley said as she entered Brooke's room. She wrapped her arms across her chest and looked at the redhead, someone that she had never really cared for. Rachel looked up from her magazine, a smirk across her face.

"Getting ready to take Brooke home," she said honestly. "The doctor's are releasing her in an hour." Haley found herself relieved, happy that Brooke was going to be able to have a bit of normalcy in her life. She would be able to go home and have a piece of her life back, however small that piece might be.

"That's great," Haley smiled. She sat down in the chair beside the bed and looked around the room at Brooke's belongings. "I wish there was something I could do..."

"Just take care of your baby," Rachel said. She put the magazine down and turned her attention to the mother to be. "Lucas is doing everything he can so that Brooke is taken care of. And I've made sure that when she comes back to my house, that she has her own space. I don't want her to feel suffocated by me or by anyone else."

Haley nodded her head. There was a part of her, who felt as if her place had been taken in Brooke's life. That perhaps the growing friendship between Rachel and Brooke, had taken over the one between Brooke and herself. It made her feel sad but she didn't say anything. Had Brooke confided in Rachel?

Haley shook her head, trying her best to shake the thoughts from her head. There was no way that Rachel had known about Brooke's cancer. And there was surely no way that Brooke would have told the redhead and not her.

Right?

There was a knock on the door and it opened, to reveal two adults. Haley turned towards Rachel, wondering just who the two were. She had never seen them and judging by the look on Rachel's face, she doubted Rachel knew who they were as well. "Can I help you?" Haley said, standing up and making her way to the couple.

As the woman smiled slightly at the man beside her, Haley realized who they were. The brunette woman in front of her had the same smile, the same dimples and the same hazel eyes as her best friend. And even though there were years separating the mother from her daughter, there was no doubt about it. She was standing in front of Mr. and Mrs. Davis.

"We're here to see Brooke," the man said as he stuck out his hand. "I'm Timothy Davis." Haley shook his hand and smiled, at a loss for words. Did Brooke know that her parents were here? Lucas had told her that they had decided not to cut their trip short, so why were they here now?

Haley shook her head. "I'm Haley Scott, Brooke's one of my best friends..." She said as she turned towards Brooke's mother and shook her hand as well. Haley pointed towards Rachel and sighed. "That's Rachel."

Rachel didn't get up, just waved hello and then crossed her arms over her chest. "Where is that vivacious daughter of ours," Mrs. Davis asked, looking around the hospital room. "We were told she'd be in her room."

Rachel stood up from her seat and grabbed her purse. "Brooke's actually filling out paperwork so that she can be released. If you'd excuse us," Rachel said. She linked her arm with Haley's, an unfamiliar thing for either of them. Haley sent her a silent thank you, to which Rachel shrugged her shoulders. "We have to get going. There's plenty of things left to do so that Brooke can come home."

"Excuse me but," the woman paused. She held her arm in the doorway, not letting either of the two teenagers go. Haley noticed the same determined look in the older Davis' eye as she continued. "My daughter is coming with us."

Rachel shook her head and shrugged her shoulders. "We'll see about that," she said, before pushing past the two. Haley didn't say anything as she moved past the couple as well. Once they were out of the room, Rachel released her grip on Haley's arm. "They have a lot of nerve."

"Peyton told me that she was an ice queen. I never understood it, till now."

Rachel smirked. "It's all beginning to make sense now. Brooke and her obnoxious behavior."

Haley rolled her eyes and turned towards the girl. "You have a lot of room to talk," Haley muttered under her breath.

"What?" Rachel questioned.

She raised an eyebrow at Rachel and shook her head. "You heard me Rachel. You're not exactly the sweet girl next door either."

"You have no idea who I am."

Haley noticed the look on Rachel's face and decided it was best not to argue with her. For a moment, she detected real sorrow in the girls eyes and felt bad for believing the worst. Perhaps, underneath Rachel's icy exterior, there was a gentle heart. There had been for Brooke.

"I have to get to work," Haley said as she glanced down at her watch. "When you see Brooke, just tell her I stopped by and I'll talk to her soon." Haley didn't wait for Rachel to say anything as she turned to walk away.

Somehow the two had managed, even though just briefly to put their resentment towards each other away. For that moment, all that mattered was Brooke. Haley wasn't sure they'd ever be friends but at least they could be civil towards each other, for Brooke's sake.

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"I can't believe you ate that pizza Lucas," Brooke said with a laugh. Lucas shrugged his shoulders as he continued to push Brooke down the hall, closer to her room. "It looked as if it had been sitting there for hours. The cheese didn't even look like real cheese!"

He found himself laughing at his former girlfriend, something he hadn't been able to do for months. "I was hungry! And it was the only thing that actually looked edible in the cafeteria. It's not like I get special deliveries from my mom's cafe."

He stopped in front of her room number and Brooke opened the door for him. "I'm going to laugh if you get food poisoning." Lucas rolled his eyes as he pushed her into her room.

"Just get packed up okay? So that I can get you home and we can have some real food." He noticed that Brooke's laughter had stopped and he glanced up from her, to see what had changed her mood so quickly. He heard her breath catch in her throat and he offered his hand onto her shoulder in support. Lucas had never had the chance to personally meet her parents. When he had been in the picture the first time, the two were constantly away on business trips. And then, when Brooke and him had managed to repair their friendship, her parents had moved to California.

Still, he knew without a doubt who they were. He had seen enough photos of them in Brooke's room and remembered vaguely seeing them at various parties before Brooke and him had ever met.

Brooke's mom was beautiful, just as Lucas had pictured Brooke to look when she was older. The matching designer clothes that they wore went unnoticed by Lucas and he knew that there was no doubt where Brooke got her taste from. "I'm Lucas," he managed to say. Brooke kept quiet as she watched Lucas shake her fathers hand, a image that she had once dreamed about.

When it was time for Lucas to shake her mothers hand the woman just stared at him. He stuffed his hands in his pockets and looked down at Brooke, hoping that she would say something to break the silence. "Do you want me to..." Lucas asked quietly and Brooke shook her head no. She looked up at her parents and she sighed.

"What are you doing here?"

The smiles on both of their faces fell and Timothy bent down to his daughter. He didn't say anything as he wrapped his arms around her, wanting nothing more than to hug his daughter. "You're our daughter Brooke," he said. Her father pushed the hair away from her face and stared at her. Even in her condition, the girl in front of him was just as beautiful as he remembered. "We love you."

Brooke smiled slightly at her fathers words. When she was a little girl, her father had meant the world to her. They would do everything together and back then she believed her father could do no wrong. But over the years their love and affection had lessened and she couldn't remember a single time in the last five years that they had really talked, let alone exchanged I love yous.

"Don't be silly Brooke. We've come to take you back to California," her mother said as Lucas looked down at Brooke. He couldn't believe what he was hearing, there was no way he was losing Brooke all over again. Brooke pulled away from her father and stared up at both of them. She shook her head angrily and laughed to herself. They were her parents but only when it was convenient for them.

"I'm staying in Tree Hill," Brooke said firmly.

Timothy looked at Lucas and then back at his daughter. "Brooke you need to be in California with us. We are going to fight this together, I've made a few calls and I've found a doctor for you."

"She has a doctor," Lucas replied.

Brooke took a hold of Lucas' hand but didn't look away from her parents. "I'm really glad to see you both but Lucas is right. My doctor is here, in Tree Hill. My friends are here, my school... I can't just leave all of that."

Her mother fought back laughter as she stared at the two of them. "Brooke this is ridiculous. You might have a doctor in Tree Hill but there are plenty of better doctors in California. You're graduating in less than a month and your friends... Well, all I know is this better not be over some boy."

Brooke glanced down at the floor, as she dropped her hand from Lucas. This wasn't about some boy, this wasn't even about **_thee_** boy. It was about her life and it was her choice how to live it. "I'm staying here and there's nothing you can do about it."

"We're your parents," Timothy said. Brooke nodded her head.

"And I'm 18. So, if you'll excuse me... Lucas and I have some packing to do."

Timothy looked at his daughter, at a loss for words. What had he done? Where was the little girl that would have done anything for him? He turned towards his wife, hoping that she would have more of a positive impact in their daughter's life and the woman just shook her head.

"Brooke, you need to remember the people who are important. I would think after everything that Peyton and Lucas did..."

"That's it," Lucas said. He had done his best to keep quiet but judging from the look on Brooke's face, she couldn't take anymore of her parents and their opinions. "I'm not trying to be disrespectful but I think it would be best if you leave."

Mrs. Davis looked at him and raised her eyebrow. Who was he, to tell her what to do? As she was about to say something, her husband took a hold of her hand. "Brooke, we're sorry about everything. Honestly."

Brooke didn't say anything as her parents gave her one last chance to change her mind. Timothy leaned down and kissed Brooke on her forehead, before gathering his wife's purse and heading out the door. Lucas went to the small closet in the room and pulled out her suitcase. "You ready to go home?" He asked as he placed the suitcase on her hospital bed and reached for some of her things. Brooke nodded her head yes.

"Then lets get you packed."

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

A few hours after being released from the hospital, Brooke was resting comfortably in her bed. Lucas had gone home for the evening, not because he wanted to but because she had insisted. She knew he needed his sleep and honestly, so did she.

There was a knock on her bedroom door and Rachel popped her head in, a glass of hot cocoa in her hands. "I thought you might like some cocoa," she said as she handed Brooke the mug. She sat down at the end of the bed as Brooke took a sip of the drink. "If you need anything... Just ask, okay?"

Brooke smiled warmly at her friend and nodded her head. "I'm just glad to be home. Maybe things can get back to normal," Brooke said.

Rachel raised an eyebrow. "Brooke..." Rachel sighed. "I don't think life is ever going to be normal again."

"True but we can pretend, right?" She laughed at her friend and stood up slowly.

"If you need anything, I'm right down the hall. I know we've had our differences but that's behind us now."

"Alright friend," Brooke said.

Rachel nodded her head.

"Goodnight."

"Night."

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Lucas shifted uncomfortably in his bed, trying his best to fall asleep and failing. There was so much on his mind, so many things that were plaguing his thoughts. He thought back over the past week and realized just how much his life had changed. Finding out about Brooke's illness had changed everything, had made him come to decisions regarding the people around him. He could no longer live with the choices he had made, and hurt people he cared about in the process.

Well, person. His thoughts momentarily drifted towards Peyton and he sighed. He had managed to single hand-idly ruin Brooke and Peyton's friendship. Again. How many times had this been? The last count was two but that was before the last kiss shared between him and Peyton. If Brooke found out, again...

He found himself thinking of choices, to tell Brooke or not to tell her. The majority of his mind was telling him to keep it a secret, that it would only hurt her to find out again. This time he had no excuse for his kiss, it was his mistake that he made. There had been no life hanging in the balance, there had been no change of emotions. It was a selfish moment, where he needed to feel connected to anyone in that moment.

Lucas wondered to himself where Peyton was and if she was planning on seeing Brooke anytime soon. Would she be propelled to tell Brooke the truth?

Would he want her to?

In the back of his mind, he knew the answer. This time was going to be different. Brooke wouldn't find out about the kiss because of Peyton and his carelessness. She wouldn't stumble on the information herself, or have someone else tell her. He sat up, a realization in his mind that he should have made all those months ago.

Lucas was going to tell Brooke the truth and nothing was going to stand in his way.

TBC...

Up next on if tomorrow Never comes:

**Chapter 10:**

-_Brooke's latest journal entry._

**Chapter 11:**

- _Brooke's first day back at school_


	11. Chapter 11

**_Author's Notes: I have had the next two chapters written for over a week now but have been struggling with whether or not to actually update. It's hard, at least for me to watch the show let alone hold a special place in my heart for Brooke and Lucas right now. However, after much debate I decided that it wasn't fair to myself or to anyone reading this story not to finish it. So, here is hopefully one of many, many updates. Thanks Amanda for "forcing" me to update._**

Chapter Ten

****

"The life of every man is a diary in which he means to write one story, and writes another."

-James Matthew Barrie

I hate Monday mornings.

It's not enough that I've been in the hospital for a little over a week but now, just a day after being released from the hospital I am forced back into my old life. I had decided that I was going to skip school today and I had thankfully avoided Rachel this morning.

That was until I got a brief message from Lucas, telling me to meet him at his house before school. He hadn't told me why and he didn't give me a way out. So, curiousity got the better of me.

What was so important that Lucas needed me, as soon as possible?

It's 6:55 in the morning and I find myself flipping through Lucas's endless supply of boring novels. It isn't enough that he tortured me with them while we were together but now, after several months of being broken apart- I find comfort in them.

A smile forms on my lips and I know that if I were to shut my eyes, I can hear him reading the words from the book. Strange I know but I can remember word for word of a particular novel, one he use to read to me on rainy nights. We'd lay in bed together and I'd be curled up against his bare chest, his arm running up and down my exposed skin.

I shake my head, wanting nothing more than to forget the happy moments so that I can focus on anything other than Lucas Scott. My hand is hurting from writing but yet I can't stop. I have so much that needs to be said, so much that I have never had the heart to explain to anyone.

My mom and dad are home.

They're in Tree Hill, I mean.

I'm honestly surprised they're even here and the very thought of that saddens me. Is it to hard to believe that my parents actually care for me? Yes, it is. Afterall, I'm 18 years old and I can't honestly remember the last time either of my parents took interest in what I was doing.

I find myself trying to remember a time where my parents were around but none comes. There's no happy memory of my family together, not Christmas or Easter, or even any of my birthday's.

They did always manage to leave me a gift and each year that passed, the gifts got better.

When I was twelve, they had bought me my first makeup set. I remember running with it all the way to Peyton's excited to show her all of the colors and the different brushes it included.

When I turned thirteen, they had bought me a CD player with speakers to go in my room, insisting that I was old enough to have my own and that I could no longer use there's down in the living room.

My fourteenth birthday I remember being thrilled over all the new clothes my mother had purchased for me. Each beautiful dress, complete with the matching jewelry and shoes and I remembered asking her if she would dress me up and do my hair. She shook her head no and insisted that I go to a salon to get my hair done.

There was no presents for my fifteenth birthday, I had insisted that I didn't want any. Peyton and I had decided that all I really wanted for my birthday, was a party. A big, lavish party with everyone who was anyone and no parents around. It was easy for them, because they were in the Bahama's so they had agreed. That was the night that Peyton had gotten together with Nathan and also the night I reluctantly lost my virginity.

My dad came through for my sixteenth birthday and had bought me the car that I had been begging him for. It was just as beautiful as I pictured, a baby blue voltz wagon bettle with convertable and matching interior. He had gotten a hell of a deal, I can remember him saying to me as my mother rolled her eyes.

But despite the amounts of money they had spent, year after year I fought inside myself with endless doubt about whether or not my parents ever really loved me. Sure, they had raised me until I was old enough to have a baby sitter and they took care of me, buying me the things in life I needed and so desperately wanted.

Somehow I always wondered if it was out of obligation that they loved me. I was there's, therefor they had to. If that wasn't the case, then why wouldn't they have wanted to be around me?

There's pictures all throughout Lucas's room, filled with his mother and Kieth and I wonder why I wasn't lucky enough to have those types of pictures. Instead of parents, my picture frames are filled with Peyton and me.

People always leave.

I find myself missing Peyton, something I am struggling to admit to even myself. How could I miss her after everything she has done to me? She decided that her relationship with Lucas meant more to her than my friendship, twice and here I am missing her.

I know honestly that she's the only person that any of this will make any sense to. Afterall, the two of us have been friends through all of it. She knew how I felt, birthday after birthday.

She knew because she was there.

I can hear Lucas in the kitchen and I hear him quietly whistling a song. I laugh, remembering a time where I caught him singing off key at a Destiny's Child cd. He had insisted that it was my fault, torturing him with that type of music for so long and he playfully shrugged it off.

It makes me laugh thinking about it and it takes my mind off of my parents for just a moment.

I wonder, if my parents had been around for me while I was growing up... if life would have gotten so complicated. Would I have become the school slut, who pursued boy after boy until finally falling in love with Lucas? Would Peyton and I have even stayed friends as long as we had?

I want to call her, I want to pick up the phone and dial the numbers but somehow the thought of wanting to do it and actually doing it are two different things.

Maybe I'll see her at school today.

"Okay. We've got bacon. We've got sausage and we've got chocolate chip pancakes," Lucas said entering his bedroom and kicking the door closed behind him.

Brooke glanced up from her journal and raised an eyebrow, a smirk playing on the ends of her lips. "What's the catch?" She asked carefully as he sat down the food in front of her and lifted the container to reveal her breakfast.

"No catch. I just wanted you to have a good breakfast before school."

Brooke patted the bed beside her and insisted that he sit down and eat some of it with her. "I'm not going to get sick am I?" Brooke asked with a laugh as Lucas rolled his eyes.

"Trust me you're safe," Lucas said as Brooke looked at him, still not budging. "Alright. Okay, Haley made it."

Brooke laughed and then grabbed a piece of the bacon off of the plate. She took a bite and then smiled up at him. "So what's going on Luke? You've been avoiding this long enough."

"Brooke..."

She shook her head and sighed. "I know something's going on Lucas and if there's something you need to tell me... just tell me."

"This isn't easy..." Lucas mummbled.

Brooke reached for his hand and squeezed it. "The truth never really is. But I swear," she paused for a minute and then laughed quietly. "It gets easier."

"Somehow I doubt that."

Brooke rolled her eyes as she let go of his hand. "Can you ever just lighten up Luke? For once, don't think that everything is so bad. Relax. Smile. Laugh."

"Laughing isn't going to make this better."

Brooke shook her head, annoyed at Lucas's outlook on life. Between him and Peyton she couldn't decide who was more cinical. Life was too short to be always upset and always thinking the worst.

"Laughing makes anything better Lucas. Look at us. Who would have thought after everything we've been through together... that here we would be. Friends."

Lucas struggled to come up with words to say.

"I don't want to be friends Brooke."

Brooke fought back the tears that were forming in his eyes as he continued.

"We can't be friends."

"Lucas I think you're being too.."

She was cut off by the touch of his lips firmly on her own and she backed away slowly. "Lucas..." she murmered quietly against his skin. "We can't," she whispered quietly as she turned away from him. She stood up and grabbed her backpack. "We're friends now."

"But..."

Brooke leaned down and placed a light kiss on his cheek. "We have to be friends okay? It just doesn't work with us, we're not right for each other. And I need all of the friends I can get right now."

"Brooke.."

She shook her head no. "Lucas, if you really love me... just please forget whatever you wanted to tell me. Right now I have to focus on getting better. I can't think about anything else. Not even you."

Lucas watched in silence as she grabbed her journal and headed towards the door, yet another time where he watched her disappear out of his room and his heart. He stayed back, knowing that if he went after her all he would want to do was wrap his arms around her and kiss her.

Brooke shut the door behind her and brought her hand to her lips, gasping as the sadness overcame her body. She silently prayed that she was doing the right thing, once again being the better person and letting Lucas go. This is how life had to be, so that her life could return to normal.

But as she walked down the stairs and headed to her car, she couldn't shake the pain running through her. She knew letting go of Lucas was going to be hard but she knew she had to do it. As she walked down the steps as quick as she could, Lucas opened the door behind her.

"Brooke!" He yelled.

Brooke turned around slowly and shook her head sadly.

"Goodbye Lucas."

TBC...

Reviews wanted!


	12. Chapter 12

Title: If tomorrow never comes  
Author: D Sollers  
Disclaimer: I own nothing to do with one Tree Hill (thank God) 

Author's Notes: Okay so it has been entirely too long since I have updated this. I would get into excuses but I guess they really don't matter. The only thing that I can say is that I found my outline for this story and hopefully I will be able to pick up where I left off and everyone will still be interested in it. Hope everyone is having a great Monday! 

**Chapter Eleven**

"No love, no friendship can cross the path of our destiny without leaving some mark on it forever." 

-Francois Muriac 

The ride to school was quiet, Rachel hadn't said much and Brooke was thankful. She didn't want a game of twenty one questions about what had gone on with her and Lucas, all she wanted was to get back to her life. 

Prom was over and done with and the seniors of Tree Hill High were all eagerly looking forward to their graduation. Brooke, on the other hand was dreading it. 

"Are you ready?" 

Rachel turned off the ignition and turned towards Brooke. She smiled slightly and waited for Brooke to open the door. "We can turn back now, ditch class and head to the beach!" 

"I've got to face them sooner or later," Brooke sighed. 

Rachel nodded her head. She knew how hard this was on her friend and wished that there was something she could do to make it easier. "Come on, we have to meet Haley." 

Brooke shot her friend a questionable look and Rachel shrugged her shoulders, knowing exactly what Brooke was thinking. "What can I say... Tutor bitch is growing on me." 

"Watch it," Brooke said as she exited the car. 

Rachel sighed. "What I meant to say was, with everything going on..." 

"Like me having cancer?" 

Rachel smacked her friends shoulder. "Like graduation and then college! Haley's getting ready to have a baby and you're..." 

"Dying?" 

She was at a loss for words as the two friends walked towards the school. Brooke pointed towards the building and noticed Haley. She was standing with Nathan and Lucas. 

"Good morning." Brooke grinned fully, hoping that her fake smile would go unnoticed. 

Nathan groaned, "I was up five times last night. This pregnancy thing is kicking me in the ass." 

"Maybe you should keep it in your pants then?" Lucas suggested as Haley rolled her eyes. 

Rachel exchanged glances between both Nathan and Haley and then shrugged her shoulders. "You know it takes two to tango," she turned towards Lucas. "You should know that." 

"Did someone say tango?" 

The group of friends turned around and glanced at Tim, all taking a moment to laugh. Brooke rolled her eyes and Haley turned towards her. "How are you feeling?" 

"Good, I think."

Brooke pushed open the doors to the school and shot a worried glance at her friend. "Maybe I should just meet you guys in there..." 

"You have nothing to be scared of," Lucas said.

The two locked eyes and he smiled sympathetically. Taking a deep breath, Brooke walked through the hall and towards her locker. When she turned the corner, she was shocked at what she saw. Her entire senior class was standing in front of the locker, her closer friends standing in front. They group held a sign that read 'We missed you,' and Brooke struggled with what to do next. 

She turned towards her friends, hoping that they would help her out but it was Bevin who finally broke the silence. "We're glad you're back Brooke. Schools not the same without you," she smiled. 

Skills nodded his head as did a few of the other basketball players. "Yeah B, if you need anything- let us know." 

"Thanks," Brooke finally managed to say. The bell rang, interrupting at her welcome back. She turned towards her friends and smiled. "You guys are great." 

Haley smiled and pointed at Rachel. "It was the first thing we've ever agreed on. I'd love to walk you to class but I have to go to the Principal's office, he wanted to talk to me about something..." 

"Maybe to let you know you won class valedictorian," Lucas offered. 

Haley shook her head no and laid her hand on her stomach. "I think I screwed up any chance of being that when I got pregnant. But we'll see." 

"Yeah, I have to get going too... Whitey asked me to meet him in the gym." Nathan watched as his wife hugged Brooke, before bending over and placing a kiss on her cheek, both heading off in opposite directions. 

Rachel smacked Lucas' shoulder, hoping that he would start to say something to Brooke. "I have to..." Rachel turned to Brooke and smiled. "I have to make a really dumb excuse so that I can pretend to have something to do- so that the two of you can talk this out." 

Brooke laughed and turned to face her friend. "It's okay Rach, there's nothing to work out." She opened her locker and turned towards Lucas. "Right Luke?" 

Lucas stuffed his hands in his jeans and leaned against the lockers. "Riiiight..." 

"Whatever you two. But seriously? I promised Mouth I would meet him before second period. I gotta get going." 

The two watched as Rachel left and Brooke stared into her locker, hoping that Lucas too would walk away. "I could walk you to class," he offered finally. 

Brooke shook her head no, playing with the pink material that was still in her locker. "It's okay, I'm actually thinking about skipping." 

"You know my mom is supposed to come home from the hospital today, with my sister." 

For the first time since this morning, Brooke turned towards Lucas and smiled. "That's great Luke!" She reached up an brought him into a friendly hug, hoping that the two of them could put their past behind them. 

"Yeah, she told me that she was going to invite Dan over for dinner tonight..." 

Brooke sighed, knowing how hard it was for him to support their growing relationship. "I'm sorry," she admitted. Lucas shrugged his shoulders and smiled down at her. 

"Did you want to come?" He asked her and then shook his head. "I mean I know you don't want to come but would you? I could really use your help Brooke. I could really use a friend." 

Brooke looked down at the floor and sighed. She knew that being alone with Lucas was hard for the both of them. "What about Haley and Nathan? It could be like a family thing..." 

"Brooke- my mom has always thought of you as family." 

"What about Peyton?" 

Lucas rolled his eyes. Every time that he tried to talk to Brooke, Peyton's name was always mentioned. He knew that he deserved the questioning looks but it still bothered him. 

"She's out of town," he admitted. 

"What?" 

He shrugged his shoulders. "Haley told me that she left a note, something about finding her own way...I haven't talked to her in a few days." 

"Did something..." Brooke shook her head, struggling to find the words. "Did something happen between the two of you?" 

Lucas looked down at her, instantly feeling regret about the kiss that he and Peyton had shared. Just as he was about to say something, Brooke cut him off. 

"It doesn't matter," Brooke smiled. She shut her locker and once again faced Lucas. "And about dinner tonight, I'll come. Just as long as we're clear." 

He raised his eyebrow as she continued. 

"We're friends Luke. Nothing more, nothing less." 

He nodded his head and even as he said the words, he knew that it was a lie. The feelings that he had for her were much more than just friends, he could only hope the same from her. But as he stared at the determined look on her face, he couldn't help but agree with her. 

"Just friends," he repeated. 

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 

"So," Rachel said with a smile as she approached Haley at her locker. Haley sent the red head a dirty look and Rachel continued. "Are you class valedictorian?"

Haley slammed her locker shut. "Did you come to gloat? To laugh at me because not only am I fat but apparently it effects my ability to be a good valedictorian?" 

"What are you talking about?" 

Tears entered Haley's eyes as she stared at the girl in front of her. "No, okay? I didn't get it." She bit her lip, to try and stop the tears from falling. "I didn't get it and I'm upset! I'm upset that I'm upset! My best friend could die and I am crying because the stupid principal thinks pregnant teenagers shouldn't give speeches." 

"Haley, I'm going to go and get Nathan..." 

For the first time Rachel felt sorry for Haley. Brooke had told her how long Haley had dreamed of graduation, how hard she had worked during high school so that there would be no other possibility other than her getting it. Her pregnancy had taken the principal and the school board by shock but she knew that the only ones really effected by it was Nathan and Haley. 

"You're going to give your speech." 

The two girls turned towards Brooke, who had her arms folded across her chest. She stood next to Lucas, who was smiling sadly at Haley and the three friends all turned towards Lucas. 

"You've worked hard for this your entire life and there is no way they are taking that away from you just because you're pregnant. It's not right," Brooke said. "Now I know I'm just the school president but I am going to talk to him." 

Haley sighed. "You don't have to Brooke." 

"Yes I do," she said sadly. "Haley you've always made me want to be a better person and now I am..." 

The two friends hugged and Haley pulled away from her. "I don't need to give a speech Brooke, that's not important anymore. What's important is you getting better and Nathan and this baby." She smiled down at her growing stomach and Brooke nodded her head. 

"We should go shopping." 

The two girls turned towards Rachel, who shifted uncomfortably beside Lucas. She shrugged her shoulders and smiled at the two friends. 

"And then we should catch a movie at the plaza," Haley added. 

Brooke nodded her head and turned towards Lucas with a small smile. "And then dinner at Luke's house, his mom is bringing home Bethany and Dan is coming over..." 

"Why didn't you say something?" Haley asked, rubbing Luke's arm in sympathy. He shrugged his shoulders, trying his best not to act irritated at Brooke's involvement of the others. 

"I don't know," he lied. 

Rachel cut him off. "Listen- I need to do something but meet me at my car in say... twenty minutes? Then we'll head off to the mall." 

"Okay," Brooke agreed. 

Haley looked from Brooke to Lucas and sighed. "Okay." 

She wasn't sure if hanging out with Rachel was how she wanted to spend her day but right now she didn't care. Hanging out with Brooke was more important. 

"Well I should get to class," Lucas said. 

Haley nodded her head and called out to him. "When you see Nathan will you tell him I went with Brooke and Rachel?" Lucas nodded his head and waved goodbye to his sister in law and Brooke. 

Once Lucas was out of sight, Haley turned towards Brooke. "How are you really doing?" She asked quietly. 

Brooke shrugged her shoulders and smiled sadly. "I don't know, I mean sometimes I feel as if I could pass out at any moment..." 

"I meant your heart," Haley whispered. "About Luke? About Peyton?" 

Brooke took a hold of her friends hand and headed out of the school building. "Sometimes I think I can forgive him, that if I get through this..." Brooke paused for a moment as she stared at the ground. "That maybe we could be together, maybe he'd be what makes everything else okay." 

"But..."

When they reached the car, Brooke finally continued. 

"Then I remember how it felt the first time I found out about him and Peyton. I felt like I could die back then, because of all of that pain. I promised myself I would never go back there, I would never feel that way again." 

Haley sighed. "But you let him back in," she pointed out. 

"And look at how that turned out! He kissed her again that day in the library, when we were together and we were in love! Don't you get it Haley? The only reason he's not with Peyton right now is because he found out I had cancer." 

Her friend shook her head. "That's not true." In the distance they could see Rachel approaching. 

"Isn't it? I love him Hales, I love him more than anything in this world but you and I both know that he has a hero complex. He wants to save the damsel in distress- only this time it's not Peyton, it's me. And this time there's nothing he can do to save me." 

**_TBC..._**

**_Please review!_**

**_Up next on If tomorrow never comes_**

**_- Dinner at Karen's and someone's tormenting Dan_**


	13. Chapter 13

Title: If tomorrow Never Comes

Author: D Sollers

Subject: Brooke Davis had it all. She was beautiful, with great friends and a hot boyfriend. With the end of senior year approaching, Brooke finds herself facing tough decisions. But what happens when the very person she is running from, is the only one that can help her through?

Disclaimer: I own nothing to do with OTH

Author's Notes: Okay wow has it really been since October that I've updated this story? Is anyone even still interested in this story since the show obviously went a different route? Well hopefully you are because I am back to updating. The good news is that I have a new chapter. The bad news? My original copy of this story that had the outline and everything was erased. So I am starting from basically my memory of a story that I started back in October of 2006. So it's going to be a bumpy ride but I promise I will not give up on this story. Unless you want me to? Anyways, reviews are love.

Chapter Twelve

"But when the time comes that a man has had his dinner,

then the true man comes to the surface."

-Mark Twain

Brooke stared at the mirror in front of her and sighed. The time that she had spent at the hospital had done nothing for her complexion and the usual bronze of her skin color had lessened to a very pale white. Deciding it was best to wear the lightest of makeup, Brooke pulled her hair into a bun and studied her outfit. Tonight wasn't about impressing anyone, it was simply a family dinner with Lucas and his family.

Then why was she going?

Despite her best efforts to ignore the sinking feeling in her stomach, she headed for the door and called out for Rachel. "I'll see you later tonight bitch!" Her tone was softer than it usually was and Rachel came around the corner. The redhead stared at her for a moment and smiled sadly.

"Okay slut."

Rachel's voice too had been soft, filled with concern for the only girl she had ever really been close to. For a second, Rachel thought about hugging the small brunette goodbye. "Try not to have a lot of fun without me," Rachel laughed as the brunette headed down the stairs and towards the front door. "Oh! And tell Dan I said hello," she said with a wink of her eye.

"That reminds me, did I ever tell you that he hit on me once?" Brooke asked as she reached the front door, leaning against it for support. She shrugged her shoulders and laughed slightly. "I guess at one time, all the Scott's have wanted me."

Rachel sat down on the step and rolled her eyes. "Whatever, I'm going to tell Haley you said that."

"Now you really are a bitch!"

Rachel laughed at their banter but her smile fell as she looked closer at Brooke. The young girl looked tired, perhaps more than she had ever seemed. She wished it was easier for her to pretend that Brooke wasn't sick and that she could play along with the game that the rest were so eager to do.

"I'll see you later Brooke," Rachel said finally.

Brooke raised her eyebrow at her friend and sighed. Perhaps it was the way that Rachel called her Brooke, or maybe it was the sadness in her eyes but whatever it was Brooke chose to ignore it.

The drive to Karen's home was easy, five minutes in fact. As Brooke made her way up the sidewalk she wondered just what she was doing there. Karen's had always felt like home to her, the one place in the world where everything was safe and nothing could harm her. But as she stared up at the woman's home, her eyes quickly filled with tears.

"Changing your mind?" Haley called out towards her as she turned around. Brooke knew it was too late and that there was no turning back so with a shrug of her shoulders, Brooke made her way up the sidewalk and steps. "Good because Luke is going to need all the help he can get. Dan is really acting funny."

Brooke made her way through the house and into the living room before she turned around to look at Haley. "How's the baby Hales?" She asked, resting her hand on the pregnant tutor's stomach.

"Kicking like crazy," Haley admitted honestly. "How's..."

Even though Haley didn't finish her sentence, Brooke knew what she was implying. It amazed Brooke just how close the two had gotten and she smiled sadly. "I actually have an appointment tomorrow," Brooke said quietly.

"I thought I heard Brooke's voice," Karen said as she entered the room. She was carefully rocking Bethany in her arms as she made her way over to Brooke and kissed her gently on the forehead. "It's good to see you," she admitted.

Brooke smiled at the woman in front of her and then down at the baby. As much as Haley's and her friendship had taken her by surprise, it was her closeness with Karen that had surprised her the most. "She is so beautiful Karen," Brooke whispered.

"Would you like to hold her?"

Brooke looked up from the baby and turned towards Haley and then back towards Karen. It scared her, the thought of holding a baby. "I'm not sure I," Brooke stuttered but Karen shook her head.

"Nonsense," Karen said as she placed the baby gently into Brooke's arms. "Just support her head," she added as Brooke carefully held the baby. Brooke stared down at the little girl in her arms and was stunned by how beautiful she already was. With pale skin and a button nose that Brooke knew she inherited from Karen, Brooke silently wondered if when the baby opened her eyes they would reflect ones that looked like Keith.

Lucas entered the room and glanced to where Karen and Haley were staring. As Brooke cooed his little sister she tugged gently on the baby's little fingers and smiled down at the baby. Lucas couldn't help the smile that was forming on his lips as he envisioned Brooke rocking her own baby to sleep.

"Dinner's ready," Dan said as he entered the room. Nathan wasn't far behind and Brooke blushed at the realization that she had been caught by not only Dan and Nathan but by Lucas as well. Careful to balance the baby in her arms, she handed the little girl back to Karen and did her best to smile at Dan.

"Good because I'm starving."

Dan nodded his head and pointed towards the dining room where the table was already set. "Nathan, can you put those flowers in a vase?" Dan asked as he pointed towards the flowers he had brought for Karen.

Nathan nodded his head and headed towards the kitchen, Haley following behind him closely. "So Brooke, Lucas told me about the cancer. I am really sorry," Dan said as he placed the salad bowl on the table and Brooke shifted in her seat uncomfortably.

"Thanks," she whispered gently and Lucas reached across and squeezed her hand. "I'm just really looking forward to graduation and then I'll be able to focus on everything else." Her smile faded as she once again realized that while everyone else would be busy starting college, she would be participating in the biggest fight of her life.

Karen entered the room a few minutes later and glanced around the room. "Wow Dan, I thought I was supposed to be cooking you dinner. You really out did yourself tonight," Karen smiled at him.

Dan shrugged his shoulders as his grin grew wide. "I just wanted to do something special for all of you."

Nathan and Haley entered the room and sat down at the table across from Lucas and Brooke, trying their best to ignore the looks on both Dan and Karen's face. As Nathan reached for the salad bowl, Brooke cut him off.

"Do you think we should say a prayer first?"

Everyone seated around the table turned to look at Brooke, who began to blush. It wasn't as if praying was new to her, she had done it many a time and it somehow always made her feel better. But she couldn't remember a time that she had witnessed a prayer at the dinner table and she wanted that to change.

"That's a good idea," Karen said finally. "Dan, would you mind saying it?"

Nathan choked on the sip of water he had taken and Haley kicked his foot to silence him. Anyone could tell that Dan was taken by surprise by Karen's question and he nodded his head helplessly. As he bowed his head, he began his prayer.

"Lord, I'd like to take a minute to just say thank you for this meal and for my family to be here at the same time. We are all lucky to be here and should take each moment as a blessing because we never know when it will be taken away from us."

Although the table sat in silence, they all knew that the words Dan had spoken were true. "Amen," Brooke said finally as she glanced up at the older Scott.

"Let's eat," Nathan laughed as he piled food on his plate.

Brooke couldn't help but laugh.

"And here I thought that Haley was the one that was pregnant."

He rolled his eyes and Lucas shrugged his shoulders. "Maybe he's trying to gain some sympathy weight."

"Are you calling me fat?" Haley asked as she turned towards Lucas and glared at him.

Both Karen and Dan chuckled as Lucas shook his head. "I was just saying that maybe Nathan was trying to make you feel better by gaining a few pounds," Lucas tried to explain but was cut off by the wave of Brooke's hand.

"Don't listen to them Haley James, you are even more beautiful then before."

Haley smiled softly. "Thanks Brooke," she laughed.

"No prob."

Dan sighed as he passed the mashed potatoes towards his older son. "Kids," he said with a shrug of his shoulders.

"You don't have to do the dishes Dan," Karen said as she brought the last of the plates into the kitchen. "Honestly cooking dinner was more than enough."

Dan stepped away from the sink full of dishes and shook his head. "It's okay Karen, I want to help out anyway I can."

Karen smiled at him and sighed. "Maybe I was wrong about you after all," she said finally as she leaned against the refrigerator.

"What do you mean?" He asked quietly.

The truth was he knew what Karen was implying and he felt bad because he didn't deserve the second chance he was being given. Would Karen still feel the same way about him if she knew the truth?

That Kieth had died by his own hand and not some confused teenager?

"You really have changed into a good man."

He thought about her words and nodded his head slowly as she continued. "I know that we have a lot of history between us and we've never had the best timing. But I want you to know that I really did love you Dan."

"I loved you too," he admitted honestly. It was his love for her that drove him crazy all those years they were separated. Despite time and a failed marriage and two estranged sons, the love that he felt for her had never left. It's what drove him mad enough to be jealous of his own brother. "Karen, I still love you."

Her smile fell but she nodded her head.

"I know," she whispered quietly.

Dan turned his attention back to the dishes so that he could fight the urge to kiss her. "I know that there's no chance for us Karen. I know that you love Kieth and that if he hadn't died you'd be married by now."

"Wasn't murdered," Karen corrected.

Dan slowly turned his attention back to his ex. "Wasn't murdered," he repeated, the uneasy feeling once again sinking into his stomach. "You should go back into the other room and relax. I've got the dishes under control."

"Are you sure?"

He nodded his head and watched as she exited the room. Dan went to reach for another dish but his phone began to signal a message. As he quickly dried his hands, he flipped open the phone to reveal the cryptic message.

_**I know your secret.**_

Even as he read the words, he couldn't make sense of them. It couldn't be true. No one was there the day he shot Kieth, no one.

Right?

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"Do you think you're ready for this?" Nathan asked as she watched Haley change Bethany's diaper. Haley seemed to have in under control and it made Nathan feel intimidated. There was no way he was as prepared for having a baby as Haley was.

His young wife shrugged her shoulders as she pulled the one piece and snapped it closed. "I'm going to deliver this baby regardless of if I'm ready or not Nathan. But I'm not really that scared anymore," she admitted honestly. "Are you scared?"

"All the time," Nathan sighed as he leaned against the wall. "I don't know how to change a diaper or make a bottle and my father wasn't exactly the best example on how to be a good dad."

Haley sighed as she nodded her head. "I know but baby you are nothing like Dan. I know that and this baby is going to know it and I think deep down you know it too."

Nathan sighed. Perhaps she was right, she had a tendency to be right a lot of the time. His mind drifted back to earlier in the evening when he had witnessed Brooke rocking Bethany in her arms. He knew more than anyone that it had been a first for Brooke, having never had little kids around her growing up. And she had done it well, he reminded himself. It seemed so natural, as if it had been the easiest thing in the world to do.

"You know what I've been thinking," Haley said finally after minutes of silence.

Nathan shook his head and his wife continued, bringing the baby up and patting it's back. "That Brooke might never get to do this. I mean I think about Keith missing out on Bethany's life and as sad as that makes me, I remember that he was able to be there to see Lucas grow up. But Brooke, she's so young there are so many things that she might not get to experience. What if she doesn't beat this? What if she never gets married? Never has a daughter or a son?"

"You can't think like that Haley. She's going to get through this," Nathan said. He said said those words plenty of times before but somehow, he was struggling with saying them. Maybe it was the look on Haley's face as she patted Bethany's back, or the words that still lingered in the room but Nathan couldn't help but wonder if Brooke really was going to make it after all.

Haley sighed. "I don't know what I would do without her," she admitted sadly. "I've only known her for two years and if she dies... I just don't know what I will do."

"Hales listen," Nathan said as he rubbed his wife's back. "We're going to do everything in our power to help Brooke beat this. She's got a lot of people on her side and a lot of people who are willing to do whatever they can. But if the time comes and something does happen... you'll get through it. Because that's what Brooke would want, for you and for our baby."

Haley's eyes filled with tears and she nodded her head slowly. "I don't want to think about that."

"Then lets focus on something else," Nathan said as he smiled. "I've been thinking about who I want to be the Godfather for our baby."

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"You were great tonight," Lucas said as he opened the front door for Brooke and the two slipped outside onto the porch. "Thank you for coming, I can not believe I am about to say this but it wasn't as bad as I thought."

Brooke laughed quietly as she nodded her head. "It was fun," she laughed. The two made their way down the sidewalk and Lucas reached for her car door. As he opened it, he couldn't help but smile at his ex girlfriend.

"When I saw you tonight with Bethany, I was amazed at how good you were with her." He wasn't sure where it had come from but he wanted her to know the truth. "It got me thinking about last year, when you had the pregnancy scare and we thought you were pregnant. It made me wish that you were actually pregnant back then."

Brooke's smile faded and she shook her head. "Don't say that Lucas," she said quietly as her eyes began to fill with tears.

"I know that you don't need to hear that but I wanted to be honest with you. I love you Brooke and I know that you don't trust me and that you can't open yourself up to me right now but I just want you to know that one day... After you beat this, I am going to be there. And I won't be backing down."

"Luke..."

Lucas sighed as he brought her against his body in a hug. He dropped a light kiss on her lips and then smiled down at her. "I'm the guy for you Brooke Davis," he repeated once again. "You'll see."

Brooke turned away from him and got into her car, despite the longing in her heart. She buckled her seat belt and then smiled up at him.

"I'll see you tomorrow Lucas Scott."

TBC.  
Alrighty, how was that? Comments are appreciated and I would love to know what you would want to happen in the story. Are you missing Peyton? Want Jake to come home? Let me know!


	14. Chapter 14

Title: If tomorrow Never Comes

Author: D Sollers

Subject: Brooke Davis had it all. She was beautiful, with great friends and a hot boyfriend. With the end of senior year approaching, Brooke finds herself facing tough decisions. But what happens when the very person she is running from, is the only one that can help her through?

Disclaimer: I own nothing to do with OTH

Author's Notes: Second update for me in a row. Pretty good all things considered! And remember, I love reviews! The good, the bad and the ugly ones.

CHAPTER THIRTEEN

"Attitude is the way you mentally look at the world around you.

It's how you view your environment and your future.

It is the focus you develop towards life itself."

-Unknown

The morning had come quickly for Brooke, who had already dressed and eaten breakfast before six thirty. She wasn't sure what was making her more nervous, the doctors appointment or the speech that Lucas had given her the night before. Rachel knocked on the bathroom door and peaked her head inside. "Ready bitch?" She asked with a grin.

Brooke nodded her head and gave herself one more look in the mirror. "Listen Rach, I just want you to know how happy I am that we're friends now." Brooke grabbed her purse off of the dresser and looked at her friend. "How do I look?" She couldn't help the queasiness that ran through her body as she spun around and she leaned against the bed for support.

"Are you sure you don't want me to call Lucas?" Rachel asked, grabbing a hold of her friends arm.

Brooke rolled her eyes. "Rachel I am fine okay? I just lost my balance. We have to get going if we're going to meet Haley before school."

Against her better judgment, the red head linked arms with Brooke and walked out of the room and towards her car. "I still can not believe that the principal won't let Haley be the valedictorian. She's been practicing this since she was old enough to talk!" Brooke tried her best to change the subject as Rachel pulled out of the driveway and towards the school.

"Well maybe he'll change his mind. Never say never, right?"

Brooke sighed as she glanced through the window. "I just wish I could do something. I mean I am class president that should count for something right? But when I talked to principal Turner he said that there was nothing he could do. That it wasn't his decision but he thought that the school board had made the right choice."

"Well we still have time to convince him," Rachel added hopefully.

Brooke turned to her friend and raised her eyebrow skeptically. "Since when are you on team Haley? I mean I get why I am riled up, because Haley is one of my best friends. But you hate her and the feeling is mutual."

"This has nothing to do with Haley," Rachel explained. "I don't have to like her to know it's not fair. If Haley hadn't been pregnant, she would have been the valedictorian. And it sucks that because she's knocked up she can't."

Brooke couldn't help the giggle that was forming on her lips. "Admit it Rach, you're starting to like tutor girl. That stone exterior you show everyone is starting to crumble! Haley James Scott has gotten you to crumble," Brooke laughed as they pulled into the school parking lot.

"She's not the one making me crumble okay Brooke?" Rachel said finally. As she parked the car, she turned to her friend and shook her head. "You don't get it, okay? I've never had friends, not boys and certainly not girls. You were the first person to ever actually like me, let alone keep my secrets. So if you see that there is something in that know it all tutor then I am sure as hell going to try and see it too. You're my best friend."

Brooke sat in the seat stunned as Rachel continued. "But if you tell anyone I said that, I swear I'll send you to the hospital myself."

"You love me," Brooke said with a laugh. She opened the car door and stepped outside, before turning around and facing Rachel again. "You love me!"

"Whore!"

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The beginning of school had been easy, she had gotten through four of her classes and was currently enjoying the silence of eating her lunch in peace. That was until Nathan slammed his book bag onto the table.

"What's that?"

Nathan caught Brooke off guard as she quickly closed her notebook. "Nothing," she mumbled as he reached for the book and she quickly pulled it away from his grasp. "It's nothing okay?"

"Then why won't you let me see it? What in the world are you hiding Brooke Davis?"

With a shrug of her shoulders, Brooke handed him the book in defeat. She watched as Nathan flipped through the pages and he looked up at her. "Your bucket list?" Nathan said as he rolled his eyes. "Please tell me that you aren't spending your time watching horrible Jack Nicholson movies."

"I loved that movie okay," Brooke corrected as she pulled the book back to her. "And besides, it's not a bucket list. It's just things that I want to do." She tilted her head to the side and tried to explain. "Peyton and I use to have this list," Brooke explained. "It was simple, just ten things we wanted to accomplish before going to college. But now that she's not around..."

Nathan nodded his head.

"You're making your own. But Brooke, that is way more than ten things on that list."

Brooke blushed as she shut the book. "It's just with the cancer and everything, there are just so many things I want to do." Through the years of knowing Nathan, the two had never been close. He had come into her life in junior high, where both she and Peyton thought of him as just another cute boy. But then the blonde began to date him in high school and their lives had been intertwined ever since.

She knew that she could count on her hand the number of times they'd had an important conversation. But still as he stared across the table at her with worry, she couldn't help but feel close to him. "I understand Brooke," Nathan said with a sad smile. "Sooner or later Brooke, you're going to need to let someone in. And if you don't think you can trust me and you don't want to stress Haley... Then talk to Lucas."

"It's not that simple Nate," Brooke sighed.

Nathan nodded his head. "It's hard to open your heart again, I know. I remember. But you're going to need him through this."

Suddenly, Brooke found herself smiling at the younger Scott brother. She couldn't pin point exactly when Nathan had matured but over the years, he had come a long way. Much like she had.

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"Mr. Turner, I have nothing else to say to you..." Haley said as he entered the tutoring center. Haley frowned at her principal before returning her attention to the paper in front of her.

The older man cleared his throat.

"Well I have something else to say to you Haley James."

"Scott. Haley James Scott."

The man nodded his head and sat down in the seat across from Haley. "It's come to my attention that perhaps we were too harsh on our decision." Haley looked up from her paper and shook her head, not understanding exactly what he was trying to tell her.

"I don't want to let my students believe that teenage pregnancy is acceptable. Because it's not Haley."

Haley glared at him. "Do you think that at thirteen or fourteen, I decided I wanted to be pregnant before college? Hell even married? Because I didn't plan this baby and I didn't plan on falling in love with Nathan and getting married. But guess what Principal Turner? I'm dealing with the consequences. Nathan and I both are struggling with this but we're not giving up. I'm still finishing high school and we're both still going to go to college."

"I know," the principal said quietly.

"Then what else do you want from me? I've been dreaming of this day for all of my life and because my personal life isn't like every other teenager in your school, you're taking it away from me."

He shook his head. "Like I said, we were wrong in our decision. You and Nathan are both proving that you can handle this responsibility and more importantly you are facing your future as a couple together. The students here in this school could learn a lot from you Haley, so I am hoping that you will accept my apology and represent your class. As valedictorian."

"Really?" Haley asked through the tears.

He nodded his head and laughed a bit.

"Really. Now will you tell your friend to stop harassing me?"

Haley looked down at the table and forced a laugh. "About that, Brooke is just trying to be a good friend..."

"Well I am sure she is but I was talking about Rachel."

Principal Turner stood up and made his way out of the room as Haley sat there stunned. She had always been so mean to Rachel, so why was the girl helping her out, she wondered to herself. Her phone rang and she glanced down at the caller ID. "Nate? Guess what!"

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Brooke played with the end of the hospital gown as the doctor began to read her chart. She couldn't help the nervousness that ran through her body and she quietly wished that Lucas could have been in the room with her. Here she was, barely eighteen years old and about to start the fight of her life.

By herself.

She knew it wasn't fair, mostly because Lucas was in the waiting room but it didn't stop the feeling that she was alone in this battle. The doctor cleared his throat before looking up at her. "I'm glad you decided to take the chemotherapy. Now I know you graduate next week but I am still insisting that we start soon. We'll start in two weeks."

"What's going to happen?"

The question came out in a faint whisper and she looked up at her doctor helplessly. "I mean, I know the stuff they show in the movies. I know that my hair will fall out and my skin will be pale and I know that it's really going to kick me in the ass but what else do I need to know?"

"Brooke there are a lot of symptoms that you can experience. Fatigue, nausea, weight loss... They're all the major ones. But you'll also be prone to bruises and you're body won't be able to fight off the regular colds and flus as you usually could. I have some pamphlets that I can give you..."

She nodded her head, his words still echoing in her ears.

"And my hair?"

The doctor cut her off with a wave of his hand. "Brooke you are lucky that we've found this earlier on. And with the chemotherapy we have a chance of beating the odds and you could pull through this. If along the way you lose your hair, then isn't that something you're willing to do?"

She knew she sounded awful but the thought of losing her hair scared her. Brooke had always hidden behind the long dark locks, letting people believe that she was just another pretty face. If that was taken away from her, what was left? They'd see the real her. The one that is just as scared and who's self esteem was just as low as anyone else.

"If you have any other questions, feel free to call me." He jotted down his phone number and handed her the card and she sighed down at it. "You can get dressed now and I will tell Mr. Scott that he can come in."

Brooke nodded her head sadly and waited until the doctor was out of the room. She quickly changed and there was a knock on the door. "You can come in," Brooke said as Lucas appeared in front of her.

"Ready to go?" Lucas said with a small smile.

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After dropping Brooke back off at Rachel's house, he knew he needed to clear his head before going home and facing his mom. It was an easy choice, the river court being the one place that allowed him to think in peace. As he drove towards it, he couldn't help but think about Brooke and how scared she had looked. He wondered just how long it had all gone unnoticed, by him and by everyone else.

"_I wish that it was me."_

_  
His eyes searched hers for understanding but there was none. So, with a gentle voice she continued. "I know that's horrible and I know that its selfish. I watched you rescue Peyton and you told me you rescued Dan..." Her voice trailed off so it was just above a whisper._

"_And sometimes I wish you could just rescue me."_

_He shook his head and sighed down at her. "From what?" He questioned, tracing circles around her wrist with his fingers._

_Brooke shrugged her shoulders against the weight of his body and wished for nothing more than to stay like this forever. That the school shooting and his uncle's death could be erased so that they could lay in each others arms and be happy once again._

"_From all of it," she whispered._

He nodded his head. "Okay then, I will." Brooke couldn't help but doubt the words but Lucas seemed sure of himself. He smiled slightly. "If you promise to rescue me back." 

Brooke smiled. 

"_I promise."_

Lucas slammed his car door shut and made his way towards the blacktop, cursing at himself for being that stupid. How had things changed so drastically in only a matter of months?

Had he been so blind with grief that he hadn't noticed her heart felt pleas?

Lucas wondered to himself if she had known all along, that perhaps that was the reason that she had broken up with him in the first place. "No, she would have told me..." Lucas said, although unsure.

"Would have told you what?" Nathan asked as he approached his older brother.

Lucas didn't look up as he began to speak. "How long do you think Brooke's known about all of this?" He questioned, one he was sure that Nathan would know the answer to. "She didn't break up with me because of this. Did she?"

Nathan shook his head and couldn't help the laugh that formed on his lips. "You really don't get it, do you Luke?" Nathan asked, suddenly angered at Lucas' blindness. "Do you really want to know why she broke up with you?"

Lucas' face said it all as Nathan continued. "It had nothing to do with whether or not she loved you, hell it had nothing to do with leukemia. The truth is simple, Peyton confessed that she was still in love with you and Brooke didn't have the energy to compete."

"No," Lucas said as he shook his head. "Peyton would never have done that."

Nathan shrugged his shoulders as he bounced the ball against the court. "Whatever man, think what you want but deep down, you know it's true." He threw the ball into the hoop and turned to face Lucas. "What's going on in that head of yours?"

"How could I have been so stupid..."

Lucas walked towards the picnic table and sat down, still trying to sort through all of his thoughts. Could Peyton have really done that to Brooke after everything they had put her through the year before? His mind replayed all of the decisions he had made sense Brooke broke up with him and he groaned.

"Oh fuck, what in the hell have I done..."

Nathan laughed at his older brother's revelation before tossing the ball once again into the hoop. "You can't change the past, so you royally screwed up your relationship with Brooke but maybe now is your chance to make it up to her."

"How do I do that?" Lucas questioned.

"For starters stop kissing her best friend."

Lucas began to open his mouth and then shrugged his shoulders. "I fucked up man," he admitted quietly. Nathan wasn't following so Lucas continued. "I kissed Peyton again. After we broke up, after I found out about Brooke's leukemia..."

"Wow, you really are a fuck up."

It was supposed to be funny but as Nathan looked at his older brother, he knew that the boy was in serious pain.

"Don't stress about the past Lucas, you've got to live in the present. To remind Brooke that her future is worth fighting for. With or without you."

TBC...


	15. Chapter 15

Title: If tomorrow Never Comes

Author: D Sollers

Subject: Brooke Davis had it all. She was beautiful, with great friends and a hot boyfriend. With the end of senior year approaching, Brooke finds herself facing tough decisions. But what happens when the very person she is running from, is the only one that can help her through?

Disclaimer: I own nothing to do with OTH

Author's Notes: Third update for me in a row. Pretty good all things considered! And remember, I love reviews! The good, the bad and the ugly ones.

CHAPTER FOURTEEN

"Be brave. Even if you're not, pretend to be. No one will know the difference."

-unknown

Later on that evening, Brooke had gotten a call from Rachel insisting that she head over to Tric. Brooke had insisted that she wanted to stay home and eat ice cream until her stomach hurt but Rachel would hear nothing of it, insisting that she needed to get her butt out of the house and do something fun.

Brooke arrived a half an hour after Rachel's phone call, dressed in jeans and a tank top that she borrowed from her friend. "What exactly am I doing here?" Brooke asked as she spotted Rachel in front of the door.

"Movie night," Rachel explained.

Brooke shot her a questioning glance and Rachel tried to explain. "Mouth and I were talking and he told me you were so happy the night you all did this for Nathan. So we decided to recreate it for you."

"Thanks Rach but I'd rather not see anyone tonight..."

Rachel rolled her eyes and pulled out the money from her back pocket. "That's too bad because almost the entire senior class is here, including those closest to you. You figure, ten dollars a ticket and about 150 students..."

"You charged them? Are you crazy Rach?"

The redhead laughed and Brooke groaned in embarrassment. "Relax saint Davis, it's not like we're keeping the money. Mouth thought it would be a good donation to leukemia research."

Brooke fought back the tears that had begun to form in her eyes as she felt footsteps behind her. As she turned around, she saw some of her classmates and they smiled sadly at her. "Hey Brooke," Erika Marsh said as she waved. Brooke waved back and watched as they entered Tric.

"I don't think I can do this Rach," she admitted honestly as she took a peak into the crowded club.

Lucas joined the two friends and wrapped his arm around her shoulder loosely. "Sure you can pretty girl. Sixteen candles just ended and they're about to put on weird science." He winked at her as he pushed her into the club. "How about some popcorn? My treat."

A part of her wanted to argue with him but she knew there was really no point. With a deep sigh, Brooke shrugged her shoulders.

"Only if you get raisinets too."

"Deal," Lucas said as he walked away from her and headed towards the bar that had been once again converted into a concession stand. Brooke couldn't believe the turn out, as she glanced around at all of the faces. This movie night had been last minute with no flyer's or publicity and yet everyone in her school had showed up.

A few feet away from her she saw Nathan and Haley and she made her way towards them, sitting on the couch to their left. "Hey guys." Nathan and Haley both looked up and grinned at their friend, happy that she had made it.

"I'm glad you came," Nathan said as he turned towards the movie screen. "Weird science is about to start."

Haley rolled her eyes and then laughed. "I can't believe you all actually like this movie," she groaned as Lucas joined the group. He handed Brooke her candy and then sat the popcorn down beside her.

"This is a classic Hales," Lucas agreed, to which Nathan and Brooke both nodded their heads.

Haley leaned against her husband and pretended to be annoyed but really she was just happy that Brooke had shown up. The baby kicked against her stomach and Haley jumped up in her seat. "Oh my God," Haley grinned. She reached for Brooke's hand and brought it to her stomach, allowing Brooke to feel the kick as well. "Did you feel it?"

Brooke's eyes glistened with tears as she nodded her head. "Lucas, feel that!" Brooke said as she grabbed a hold of Lucas' hand with hers and placed it against Haley's stomach. "That's amazing tutor mom," Brooke cried as she waited for the baby to do it again.

Lucas and Nathan both laughed at the two girls and Lucas nodded his head.

"It is amazing Hales."

The smile fell from his lips and Nathan glared at him. He wasn't sure whether it was a brother's intuition or whether it was because Haley herself had confided her fears into him but Nathan knew what his brother was thinking.

That maybe, Brooke would never be going through that for herself.

"The movie's starting," Nathan said finally.

Rachel leaned against the bar and smiled at Mouth.

"So I guess tonight was a bigger success than we thought."

Rachel glanced around the club that only hours ago had been filled to it's capacity and noticed that there were only a handful of people left. "I'm glad we did this," Rachel whispered to the boy and he nodded his head.

"You're a great friend Rach, even if you don't like to admit it."

The redhead laughed as Mouth continued. "Brooke is lucky to have you in her life. We all are," he added as he wiped off the counter and began to walk towards the trash.

"Yeah but I couldn't have done it without you."

Her words had surprised him.

"What do you mean?" He asked as he turned around to face her.

Rachel blushed but tried her best to explain. "When I got to Tree Hill, no one liked me. And I know that it was my fault because I was too busy trying to stir things up for Brooke and her friends. But you saw through it and liked me, the real me. Not the one that my daddy's credit card bought me but the real me... The fat, ugly one."

"Rachel you've never been ugly."

She nodded her head and laughed. "I know. I guess what I am trying to say is thank you for being such a great friend to me and making me see that I was worth more than what I was getting."

"You are worth more."

Rachel walked towards him and grabbed a hold of his hand.

"I know."

"You know I really didn't want to come here tonight," Brooke admitted as she watched Nathan and Lucas begin to gather up the trash. Haley nodded her head but stayed quiet as Brooke continued. "All I wanted was to stay home and eat ice cream. To pretend that this isn't really happening. Does that make me a coward?"

Haley shook her head no and turned to her best friend. "It makes you human," she explained. "I'm pregnant and even though Nathan isn't really saying anything I know he's scared of having a baby. And deep down, I am too. I mean, I haven't graduated high school. Nathan and I don't even have real jobs and I am about to give birth. Not to mention that at the beginning of the school year, he wanted a divorce. I'm terrified about the future and mine isn't half as scary as yours..."

Brooke smiled sadly as she placed her hand over her friends stomach. "At the beginning of the school year when Nathan wanted a divorce, you loved him anyway. Despite everything he put you through over Chris, you continued to fight for your relationship. When you found out you were pregnant, you didn't want to run away and bury your head into the ground... Haley you are the bravest person I know."

"I'm not brave Brooke," Haley whispered. "I'm scared just as much as anyone else. I just pretend not to be."

The brunette nodded her head in understanding as she squeezed her friends hand. "Pretending is good," she admitted. "Sometimes, if you pretend long enough... it actually comes true."

"Are you scared?" Haley questioned quietly, not daring to look up at her friend.

Brooke nodded her head and let out a deep sigh. "I try not to be..." Brooke explained. "I've never really believed in God enough to go to church, mostly because my mom and dad were never around to teach me. But I use to go to church with Peyton's mom when I was younger, just the three of us. And I remember her saying to Peyton one night that God doesn't bring you to something that he won't help you get through... At the time it didn't make any sense."

"And now?"

She smiled.

"Now it's beginning to make sense. No matter what happens, I know God is with me."

Haley nodded her head and turned to her friend.

"So are we."

_Dear Brooke,_

_I know by the time you finally read this letter that I will no longer be in Tree Hill but I owe you an explanation as to why I left so suddenly. _

_Do you remember when my mother died? After the funeral, I hid alone in my room. And even though you were grieving too, you came to find me. It was just the two of us, sitting alone in my closet and I didn't say a word to you. You just sat there patiently and ran your fingers through my hair, promising me that we would get through it together. That you would never turn your back on me. _

_We were ten then but even as you said the words I knew it was true. Brooke, you've been my best friend for as long as I can remember and I haven't been the best friend to you. And this isn't about Lucas, not really._

_It's about you and me._

_I can't remember the last time I acted liked your friend. I know that Haley and Rachel have been better friends to you over the last year than I have and it makes me so angry at myself because this is our senior year of high school. Do you remember the plans we made for this summer? Of course you do._

_I guess what I am trying to write to you is that I am sorry. For everything that happened along the way, including both of the times that I let Lucas come between us. I'm not sure where I am going exactly, or for how long but I promise you Brooke that when I come home, things will be different._

_It might take a while for you to learn to trust me but I'm going to gain your trust back. No matter what it takes. _

_I love you Brooke._

_Peyton._

Brooke glanced up from the letter that was in her hands and sighed. Peyton had done a good job of hiding it, in between a stack of magazines that would take Brooke a few days to sort through. But still as she read the letter again, she couldn't help but get angry at Peyton.

"Please tell me you are not reading Luke's letters again."

Rachel's voice was filled with annoyance as she crossed the room and sat down on the brunettes bed. "Actually it's from Peyton," Brooke said quietly as she handed the letter to Rachel and allowed her friend to read it.

"She's got some nerve," Rachel said as she rolled her eyes. "I mean she claims that she wants to be your friend but leaves right before you start chemo... What a bitch."

And although tears had filled her eyes, Brooke nodded her head. "Yeah, what a bitch." She agreed, her voice still shaking with emotion. Brooke knew that her friendship with Peyton had been damaged beyond repair but she couldn't help the feeling of loss that was slowly creeping into her heart.

Rachel wrapped her arms around Brooke and pulled her into a hug. Careful not to squeeze the brunette, Rachel ran her hand up and down the girls back. "You know, I bet she'll be home for graduation."

Even as Rachel said the words, Brooke began to doubt them. She knew deep down that Rachel was just trying to make her feel better and that Peyton wasn't going to come back right away. "Can I have some ice cream now?" Brooke asked sadly.

"I guess but if I were you I wouldn't. Your ass looks like it's gained five pounds already."

Despite the situation, Brooke managed a laugh.

"Thanks Rach, for everything."

TBC...


	16. Chapter 16

Title: If tomorrow Never Comes

Author: D Sollers

Subject: Brooke Davis had it all. She was beautiful, with great friends and a hot boyfriend. With the end of senior year approaching, Brooke finds herself facing tough decisions. But what happens when the very person she is running from, is the only one that can help her through?

Disclaimer: I own nothing to do with OTH

Author's Notes: Second update for me in a row. Pretty good all things considered! And remember, I love reviews! The good, the bad and the ugly ones. Thanks for all of the reviews so far.

CHAPTER FIFTEEN

"Some emotions don't make a lot of noise. It's hard to hear pride.

Caring is real faint- like a heartbeat. And pure love, why some days it's so quiet, you don't even know it's there."

-unknown

_So I woke this morning to Rachel bitching somebody out over the phone. When she saw that I had made it out of bed, she tossed me the phone and told me to remind my boyfriend that he can not call before six. Apart of me wondered what Rachel was talking about because it's been weeks since I've had a boyfriend but even as I pick up the phone I knew it was Lucas. _

"_Hey pretty girl," he grinned into the phone. "Get dressed."_

_I rolled my eyes and glanced down at my tigger pajama's that Haley had bought me for Christmas and a part of me wanted to skip school and stay in bed. Before I could say a word, he was insisting that I hurry up and that we had a full day ahead of us. I tried to remind him about school but all I earned was a quick laugh. _

"_We're skipping."_

_And even as he said the words it didn't make any sense to me. Lucas Scott did not skip school, even for me. And believe me, when we were together I tried to get him to skip a lot. But I could tell there was no arguing with him. Within fifteen minutes, I had changed and headed out the door where Lucas was waiting in his car. _

_When I asked him where he was taking me, he told me it was a surprise. Little did I know what he had in store for me. _

"Lucas, what are we doing here?"

The drive to the beach had taken only a few minutes but still, Brooke was at a loss for what was going on. "Number 48. Go skinny dipping in the ocean one more time," He said out loud as he turned to face her. "Before you get mad, when Nathan told me you had made a list- I didn't really believe him. And then Rachel made me a copy of it..."

"She what?" Brooke asked with a laugh. She couldn't believe her friends had broken her confidence and told showed Lucas her list. Had he seen all of it? She wondered to herself quietly but the look on his face showed that he had.

Lucas shrugged his shoulders. "It's not that big of a deal but I am going to do everything in my power to make those things happen. Now lets get going, we have a long day planned."

"It's too early in the morning Luke, the water is going to be too cold..."

Lucas had already taken off his shirt as he opened his car door and he smirked at her. "Is Brooke Davis saying no to taking her clothes off? I can not believe it!" He said with a laugh. She rolled her eyes but stepped out of the car, pulling off her tank top to reveal her light pink bra.

"That's my girl," he said as he took a hold of her hand and headed down the beach.

There were a few people jogging in the distance but Lucas didn't mind. As soon as his feet hit the water, he stripped down so that he wasn't wearing anything. "Your turn," Lucas said, dipping into the water.

"Lucas, this is crazy. It's daylight!" She said with a laugh.

But as he dove under the water she couldn't help but want to be in the water with him. "Fine, okay? You win. But no peeking!" Brooke said as Lucas turned around, completely aware of how silly it was since he had seen her naked a thousand times before. Within a few seconds she had dove into the water and joined him, splashing him in the face with the cold sea water.

"How do you feel?"

His smile didn't fade but she could see the worry in his blue eyes as he squinted down at her. "Alive," she admitted honestly, diving back under the water and away from his grasp.

_It was amazing, the feeling skinny dipping in the ocean had given me. Granted I had done it countless times before but it was as if he had given me back a piece of myself. That perhaps when he looked at me, he saw the old Brooke. The daring one who flirted constantly and wasn't afraid of her future. That maybe for the first time in a really long time someone could look at me and not see me as the girl that was slipping away. That could possibly die from leukemia. _

_We didn't spend a long time in the water, mostly because I was feeling a little tired but also because Lucas had made us breakfast. He had packed chocolate chip pancakes, the kind we use to eat when I was living with him at Karen's. And although we spent the time in silence, it was nice being alone with him._

"Ready to go?" Lucas asked as he stood up and brushed the sand off of his pants.

Brooke nodded her head slowly and watched as he reached out his hand for hers. She took it and allowed him to help her stand up. "What's next?" She asked with a small smile as he shrugged his shoulders and pointed towards the pier.

"Number 32," he said finally.

Brooke took a deep breath and smiled. "Get another tattoo," she murmured as he nodded his head and the two began to walk towards the pier.

A few minutes later they were standing in front of a tattoo shop and Lucas turned to face Brooke. "So I'm thinking about a butterfly, right here..." He ran his fingers over her bare shoulder blade and she shook her head with a laugh.

"That's a little to 'Walk to remember' for me," Brooke laughed.

He laughed too and rolled his eyes. "Well maybe but that is only because you made me watch it so many times. So, do you know what you want?"

Brooke nodded her head. "But it's a secret," she explained. "Are you going to get one?"

Lucas looked down at his shoulder and the Chinese writing that had gotten him into so much trouble a year ago. "Sure," he said as he opened the door and allowed Brooke to walk inside. "You first."

He watched as Brooke showed the man the design she wanted and she sat in the chair nervously. "Don't watch my okay Broody? It'll make it worse." He nodded his head and backed away, allowing the man to start the tattoo. It took about ten minutes for the man to finish and Brooke glanced into the mirror so that she could see the tattoo. "What do you think?"

"It's beautiful," Lucas said quietly. "What does it mean?"

Brooke looked down to the floor and blushed.

"Faith."

The guy cleared his throat and Lucas looked at him.

"How about you go and pay, I'll meet you outside." Lucas took a minute to hand her his wallet and watched as she left the booth and walked towards the counter.

A few minutes later, Lucas joined Brooke outside of the shop. "Let me see," Brooke said with a small grin. When Lucas lifted the bandage from the tattoo, Brooke gasped in surprise. "Lucas..."

"I wanted us to match," Lucas explained.

Brooke nodded her head and a smile formed on her lips. "Thank you Lucas," she whispered.

_As cheesy as it was, I really did feel like Jamie from a walk to remember. Here was this great guy, the total opposite of everything that I was and he was bending backwards to make sure that everything I wanted to happen, did. _

_He took me to the mall next and after several hours of maxing out my credit cards, he carried the bags to the car. I kept telling him the day had been perfect but each time, Lucas surprised me with another one of the things off of my list. _

_We talked about New York and the trip that I wanted to take. I told him my deepest desire to live there in a small apartment while going to school and focusing on my clothing line. He told me that it was going to happen, that I would live in New York just like I planned and that it wouldn't be as hard as I thought because Nathan and Haley would be living there too. _

_He held my hand as I explained to him how important it was for me to finish putting my pictures into my photo albums. I even admitted to him that the only book I managed to finish was the pictures of us, because they had become so faded and the edges had began to tear. _

_And when I thought that the night had come to an end, he had stopped me by Rachel's house and told me to get dressed. There was a box on my bed with the words wear me scribbled on them. _

_Twenty minutes later, Lucas picked me up again. Only this time, gone were the faded jeans and flannel shirt and in it's place was a button down dress shirt and black pants. He looked amazing and I knew that the dress he had picked out for me was beautiful as well._

We drove in silence, for what felt like hours until we arrived in front of a restaurant by the water.

"This was my uncle's favorite place to take my mom," Lucas explained as he held open the car door and allowed Brooke to step outside. She took a look around the outside restaurant and smiled at him as he shut the door behind her.

"I know that this isn't on your list but it's on mine."

Brooke glanced down at her feet and then nodded.

"It's beautiful, I can see why Kieth loved it."

The waitress showed them to their table, right beside the dance floor and Brooke couldn't help but look around at all the older couples. "This is where he had planned to purpose. Before mom ruined it by purposing herself," he managed a laugh.

"I can't believe they never got their wedding," Brooke admitted quietly. "I've never seen two people, more meant for each other than Keith and your mom."

Lucas shrugged his shoulders.

"I have."

Brooke rolled her eyes. "Naley doesn't count! They've got the whole star crossed fated lovers thing down. But your mom and Kieth..."

"I wasn't talk about Nathan and Haley," Lucas said as he cut her off. He reached across the table and took a hold of her hand. "Do you want to dance?"

Brooke looked towards the dance floor and noticed that there was no one there. "Broody I don't think so..." But it was too late, Lucas had already stood up and pulled her towards the dance floor. "There isn't any music," Brooke mentioned.

But Lucas didn't care. She wrapped her arms around his neck as the faint noise of a familiar song began to play. Brooke closed her eyes as he pulled her closer and she laid her head against the beating of his heart.

"I love this song," she whispered quietly.

Lucas nodded his head. As more than anyone played, Lucas couldn't help but remember all the times he danced with Brooke to this song. First at Nathan and Haley's wedding and then at prom. It was as if the song was written about his feelings for her.

_It was magical, being there alone with him. As he held me close to his body, it took everything in me to remember that we weren't together. That this wasn't my happily ever after and this boy wasn't the one for me. _

_That he was destined for someone else and that I was..._

Destined for something else.

_Graduation is in a few more days and once again, I'll be going back to the hospital. Only this time it won't be fore just a couple of days. Instead I'll be staying there for three weeks. Three weeks of time where Nathan and Haley will be welcoming their baby into their lives and all the while getting ready for their summer before college. _

_Lucas will be heading to Charleston, to find an apartment and a job and I will be facing the chemotherapy alone. _

_It's times like now where I miss Peyton the most._

_I just hope that where ever she is, she's safe and happy. _

_Because as much as it hurts to admit, Peyton really is my best friend and she should be here with me. Not just for the chemotherapy but for graduation and for the summer before college. _

"What are you writing?" Lucas asked as he turned his attention away from the wheel and onto Brooke. He watched as she closed the book and leaned her head against the seat, taking a second to look at him with a small smile.

She sighed before looking back down at the book in her hands. "I was just writing about today, that's all."

Lucas nodded his head and turned his attention back to the road in front of him. "You can rest now if you want. We've still got about an hour or so until I get you home," Lucas said quietly as she began to yawn.

"I'd rather just stay up with you. If you don't mind."

He smiled. "I don't mind," he repeated and grabbed a hold of his hand in hers.

"I don't mind at all."

TBC...

Okay ladies, look a WHOLE chapter with just BL. Did you love it? Hate it? Let me know!


	17. Chapter 17

Title: If Tomorrow Never Comes

Author: D Sollers

Subject: Brooke Davis had it all. She was beautiful, with great friends and a hot boyfriend. But what happens when the very person she's running from is the only one that can help her with what she's going through?

Disclaimer: I own nothing to do with One Tree Hill (and honestly, I think it's obvious that I don't)

Author's Notes: Wow, can you believe this is actually getting updated? I can't. I'm not even sure if any of you are still interested in this but I promised Kelli and update and I am here to deliever it. Just wanted to say thank you to both Lizzy and Amanda for reading and reviewing a GH fic, knowing nothing about the show. You girls are awesome! And everyone else, thanks for the lovely reviews and for not giving up on this story.

If Tomorrow Never Comes

By:

D Sollers

**Chapter Sixteen**

"Some see a hopeless end, while others see an endless hope."

-unknown

The next morning Brooke was woke up by the sunlight that was shining into her bedroom. She tossed and turned in her bed, groaning to herself. School would be starting in less than an hour and she knew that after skipping school the day before, she needed to actually show up today.

So, despite the temptation to stay in her bed Brooke made her way towards her bathroom and started her morning routine. She'd taken a shower, changed her clothes and was well on her way to being ready. As she sat down at her vanity and applied black eyeliner and then a sheer lip balm, before grabbing her hair brush.

She began to brush her hair and she fought back memories of her mother. She could vaguely remember her mother pulling the brush through her hair when she was a little girl, talking about how her hair was the thing that made Brooke most pretty.

Tears entered her eyes at the irony, knowing that one of the very first things that would be taken away from her when she started chemo, was her long brown hair. Her mother would love that.

Brooke could hear Rachel move throughout the kitchen downstairs, more than likely trying to scramble some type of breakfast for them both. She'd been surprised as she heard Rachel begin to talk, followed by both Nathan and Haley. Brooke smiled softly. Three of her closest friends were together and not arguing? She wasn't even sure that was possible. But sure enough as Brooke continued to listen, there was no yelling or raised voices.

And as happy as that made her, it didn't take away from the situation at hand. Brooke felt powerless, knowing there was nothing she could do about the cancer. About her future. She thought about the changes she'd be forced to make and as she stared at the mirror in front of her, her fingers reached into the drawer for scissors.

In three swift movements, she began to cut her hair. Her long, chocolate brown hair fell to the table in front of her and she sighed at the ending result. Perhaps it wasn't the smartest idea, she definitely wasn't a hair stylist. She knew it was a tad dramatic but she didn't care. The Brooke Davis that everyone knew and loved was dying. And no matter how hard she struggled with that knowledge, she knew that whatever the outcome of the chemotherapy, she'd never get that girl back.

"Shit," she mumbled out loud, not moving from her seat. There was no way she could face the teenagers in her high school looking the way she did. She calmly called for Rachel and after a few minutes, her friend was standing in the doorway. Rachel's eyes widened and she stared at her friend in shock, unable to say anything.

Brooke held up her hand and sighed. "Don't say anything okay, just help me fix it."

Rachel nodded her head and smiled sadly, calling out for Haley to join them upstairs. By the time Haley joined the two friends, Rachel had already called her stylist. "Becky said she'll squeeze you in," Rachel said. Brooke mumbled a thank you, pushing past both of her friends.

"Brooke..." Haley finally managed to say.

She stopped in the doorway but didn't turn around.

"I couldn't look at it anymore," she trembled. "I can't."

Both Rachel and Haley nodded their heads and the brunette began to walk down stairs.

"Do you think I should call Lucas?" Haley asked.

Rachel turned to her in surprise. It was no secret the they weren't friends and fought over everything, including Haley's husband at one time. They were both too stubborn to give any apologies and Rachel knew that it would probably never change. She wanted to continue their usual banter and pretend that things weren't any different then they'd always been. But as Haley stared up at her, fresh tears filling her eyes, Rachel stood quiet.

If there was one thing they had in common, it was their love for Brooke.

"I don't know," she finally managed to say.

--

"Hey Nate," Lucas said, running across the street to join Nathan in front of their school. "Have you or Haley heard from Brooke this morning? I've called her phone a couple of times and there's no answer."

They made their way into the school and Nathan nodded his head. "Yeah we actually went to see Brooke this morning," Nathan explained, tossing his books into his locker as Lucas stared at him. He knew that his older brother was waiting for more information and Nathan shrugged his shoulders. "Look man, all I know is that Haley told me to go to school. She said that Brooke needed a girls day and that Rachel and her were going to give it to Brooke."

"Oh."

Lucas didn't say anything else as he made his way towards his own locker, Nathan not far behind. "If it makes you feel any better, Rachel suggested that we all have dinner at her place tonight. You and Brooke, Haley and me and Rachel and Mouth."

"Rachel and Mouth?" Lucas chuckled.

Nathan nodded his head with a laugh. "Yeah, she said it would be good for all of us to focus on Brooke. To put our differences aside and become better friends." Nathan looked skeptical of the whole situation but Lucas couldn't help but agree with Rachel. Brooke needed all of her friends to get along now more than ever. He just wished that Peyton could be there for Brooke as well.

The brothers began to walk towards their class in silence and Nathan turned to look at Lucas after a few minutes. "How are things with Karen and Dan?" Lucas' body stiffened at the mention of their fathers name and he shrugged his shoulders. He knew that after everything his mother had been through, she deserved a little bit of happiness. He just wasn't sure that Dan was the one that could give it to her.

"He's still around, if that's what you're asking."

Nathan nodded his head. "The other night, when we all had dinner... That was just a little weird," he laughed. "We actually felt like..."

"A family?" Lucas wondered out loud.

Nathan shrugged. A little too like a family, something that he wasn't use to. He looked at his brother and noticed how tired Lucas seemed. Granted Brooke was the one fighting cancer but it was Lucas who stood by her side. If she didn't pull through this, Nathan didn't want to think about what Lucas would do. He decided in that moment to keep his suspicions about Dan quiet and to focus on the most important thing.

Brooke's health.

"You don't think Rachel's planning on killing us all tonight with her cooking skills, do you?"

--

Brooke watched in silence as Becky continued to even her hair, realizing that it was shorter than she'd ever had it cut. It came to just below her chin and Brooke struggled not to burst into tears. As she stared into the mirror, she couldn't even notice herself and she was sure it wasn't because of the haircut.

Haley stood a few feet behind, cooing and awing over her new look. "You looked beautiful Brooke," Haley smiled. Rachel glanced up from her magazine and nodded her head enthusiastically.

"I told you Becky's the best."

She didn't answer either of them as she waited for the girl to finish. After she paid Becky, she headed towards the door. Rachel thanked the stylist as Haley rushed after Brooke. "Hey, wait up!" Haley called out to her and the brunette stopped in her tracks. She turned around carefully and stared at her friend. "Brooke talk to me, tell me what I can do to help you."

"Nothing," Brooke sighed. "There's nothing anyone can do."

Haley's smile fell and she struggled with her own tears. She knew that Brooke was going through a lot and that she was powerless to help her but she needed Brooke to know that they were there for her. That they were all there for her.

"This isn't going to magically go away Haley, no matter what we pretend."

Her voice is more harsh than she intended and Haley stared up at her friend in shock. Rachel came up from behind them and shook her head sadly. "We know that Brooke," Rachel said in frustration. "We're not saying that this is easy. We're just letting you know that we're here. That you don't need to shut us out."

Brooke glanced down at the sidewalk and sighed. "It's too hard... All of it."

"We know," Haley reassured her. "But you have to have faith that you're going to get through this."

Brooke smiled sadly. "And what if I don't? Honestly Haley I think I'm all out of hope."

"Then you let us hope for you."

Rachel nodded her head in agreement with Haley and brought her friend into a hug. "We're going to get you through this. Lucas, Nate, Haley and I are going to be there for you every step of the way."

"You can't promise that," Brooke cried.

Haley shook her head and smiled at her friend.

"Yes we can. Rachel's right. This isn't just your fight. It's ours too."

--

Later that evening, Brooke began to get ready for dinner. She'd tried her best to talk Rachel out of the dinner party, not ready to face either Nathan or Lucas. But Rachel insisted that they were coming over whether she liked it or not and that it was up to her if she wanted to join them or not.

And after a quick nap and a hot shower, Brooke decided that she needed to face them sooner or later. She didn't want to leave the explanation of the days events to Rachel, so she agreed reluctantly.

Twenty minutes after getting dressed, Brooke made her way downstairs and entered the kitchen. Rachel was busily moving around, dancing in between the refrigerator and the pantry.

"It smells good Rach," Brooke smiled. She sat down on the bar stool and Rachel shrugged her shoulders mumbling something under her breath that Brooke couldn't understand. "You know you can still back out of this, we can call Haley and Nathan and..."

Rachel shook her head at her friend. "Brooke shut up. I'm having this dinner and you're going to enjoy it. If not, go back upstairs and we'll eat without you."

Brooke rolled her eyes. "I just worry about you and Haley," Brooke sighed. "You've already seen each other today and managed to not get into any arguments. Don't you think seeing her tonight is pushing it?"

Rachel smiled slightly. "Nah, we called a truce."

"A truce?" Brooke asked, amazed at her friends choice of words.

"Yeah," Rachel said, turning her attention to the vegetables in front of her. She began to chop them, tossing them into the salad bowl. "We decided that whatever issues we have between the two of us, shouldn't effect you in anyway. You should be happy."

Brooke nodded her head. "I am... I'm just a little..."

"Surprised?" Rachel laughed. "Me too. But maybe you're right, maybe I didn't give Haley a chance before. You seem to really love her and I know that she loves you."

After a few minutes of silence, Brooke finally smiled at her friend.

"Thank you Rachel."

"Anytime."

--

An hour later the doorbell rang and she rushed towards it, hoping that either Nathan and Haley or Mouth was on the other side. She wasn't ready to face Lucas yet and wanted her friends to be around when he finally saw her. But as she opened the door, her breath caught in her throat.

"Hey," Brooke managed to say.

"Hey yourself," Lucas smiled down at her and handed her the flowers in his hands. "These are for you and Rachel," he explained. He reached his fingers towards her shortened hair and he nodded his head. "You look beautiful."

Brooke allowed him to step into the house and she shut the door behind him, ignoring his comment about her new haircut. Instead, she reached out and touched his own hair. It was much longer than she was use to and she rolled her eyes. "Looks like you need a haircut yourself," she tried to smile.

Lucas rolled his eyes playfully and the two headed towards the dining room, where Rachel was setting the table. There was a knock at the door followed by Nathan and Haley slipping inside. "Brooke, Rach?" Haley called out to them.

"We're in the dining room!" Brooke yelled.

Haley took a hold of Nathan's hand in her own and walked towards the room where her friends were already seated. Mouth arrived minutes later, with a pie he'd picked up from Karen's cafe. He'd gotten apple, Brooke's absolute favorite. "This looks great," Mouth said as he turned towards Rachel.

"Of course, I made it."

--

"Dinner was great Rachel," Brooke said, as she leaned back into her chair.

Both Nathan and Haley nodded their heads but it was Lucas that spoke. "Yeah I was surprised actually. I thought it was going to be a disaster," he laughed. Rachel rolled her eyes but listened as Lucas continued. "Graduations only a few weeks away and I can only hope we'll continue to be this close afterwards."

"We will be," Haley smiled. "We're going to stay friends regardless of what happens."

Nathan nodded his head in agreement with his wife. Despite the challenges that faced them, the married couple were sure they'd pull together. They'd face their futures together. Whatever life threw at them.

"I can't believe Naley's having a baby," Brooke giggled, breaking the silence.

Haley smiled and reached for her husbands hand, squeezing it gently. "I still can't believe it myself," she sighed. "But it's coming just as fast as graduation is."

"And college," Mouth interrupts, shaking his head. He doesn't want to think about the future anymore than the rest of them do but he can't help it. By fall, they'll all be in different places. And despite their promises about staying close as friends, their futures could very well stand in the way.

"Okay enough. This is supposed to be the happiest time of your lives and it's going to be. You guys have to promise me that, okay?" Brooke sighed. "I can't face..." She paused for a moment and eyed Lucas, unable to say the word aloud. "I can't get through it unless I know that you're all happy."

She stayed quiet a moment and it was Haley who spoke next. "Whatever you want Brooke," Haley answered, not missing a beat. She turned to her friends and waited for them all to nod their heads. Then she turned towards Brooke and smiled slightly. "Anything else?"

Brooke thought for a moment and nodded her head quietly. "I guess I just really wish Peyton was here," she whispered finally.

--

After dessert, Rachel suggested the friends go and see a movie. Nathan and Haley agreed as well as Mouth but Brooke had shook her head no, claiming to be tired. And Lucas had taken the cue from both Rachel and Haley that perhaps he should stay behind and look after Brooke.

"Did you have a good time?" Lucas asked, walking into her bedroom behind her.

Brooke nodded her head as she pulled a pair of pajamas from her dresser. She turned to face Lucas and nodded her head, smiling slightly. "I'm really happy for Nathan and Haley," Brooke said finally as she leaned her body against the dresser. "And I know that this is going to sound so selfish but looking at them and seeing how happy they are... I found myself wishing I got to experience that."

"What?" Lucas questioned.

She bit her lip nervously, unsure with whether or not she should continue. "That love," she shrugged. "They're 17 and they're so sure of their relationship. Their love..." She sighed.

Lucas stared down at her and his smile fell, perhaps he had been wrong all along. Maybe Brooke didn't love him as much as he loved her. And despite how much that saddened him, he pretended not to be bothered by her choice of words. Because Brooke deserved more than what he had offered her time and again and maybe, if she pulled through this- she'd finally get it.

Even if that didn't include him.

"That love is out there for you Brooke," he said finally. He brought her into his arms and smiled slightly. "I promise you that." He held her tightly against his chest and shut his eyes, allowing himself that moment alone with her.

"How can you be so sure?" Brooke looked up at him, her voice almost desperate.

Lucas pulled away from her and smiled slightly. They'd been through so much together, had seen their share of heartache and happiness and yet in that moment, all he could do was focus on what could be of their future. He just needed to help Brooke get through her chemo and then he'd prove to her that they were supposed to be together.

He began to think about that night, months ago where he stood on the river court and made a shot that called on destiny. And how the ball had slipped through the hoop, confirming something he already knew. That he was meant to be with Brooke Davis, that loving her was his destiny no matter how long they had together.

"I just am," he said finally.

**TBC...**

**Okay so I know it wasn't that great but I haven't updated this story in forever and I gotta start somewhere.**

**Hopefully you all still enjoy this story and I promise, I will update more frequently.**


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